I met with a friend in our second-choice restaurant.
We love restaurants. A meal, a snack, a drink. And Tarot!
And we have a first choice restaurant, especially for our Tarot draws, but it was a Sunday and the in between hours. I live in a small town now, no longer in NYC where there are no in between hours for any place I’d be likely to go.
So we were at Second Choice, drawing cards for each other as we often do. She’s my student, if I dare say that about a Leo, but becoming a good reader of cards in her own right. Amazing how that happens with a little practice and consistency. It can happen to you too.
And I know now, more than ever, that she’s tuned in. She’s THERE. How do I know this? Because it was a full on session with lots of shuffling by both of us and I asked THE SAME question twice, at different points during the time we spent together, and she got THE SAME card each time.
The High Priestess. Same question, same card.
My friend had her own valuable ideas about what this could mean for me as advice (it was advice I was seeking for something in particular) and I did take her ideas to heart and it caused me to fire up my altar which I had not done in a while but I kept thinking about her, the High Priestess, and was remembering various keys to her mysteries, everything I knew or thought I knew and then this morning I remembered one of the most common ones:
Intuition. Trust it. Use it. But don’t push. It’s the Magician who pushes. You don’t have to.
The High Priestess was describing a METHOD. A way. Then came my aha moment. The answer arrived.
Last night I was talking to a friend (name redacted to protect the possibly innocent) and she told me a story.
she’s searching for the PERFECT JOB. The perfect job for her. She’s the breadwinner of the family. The burden’s on her. Her field is a money making field BUT… she has not been happy in it for years and has bounced around a bit (still in her field) trying to find this PERFECT JOB, including job counselors and healers and shamans to help “solve” this “problem.”
She’s on a quest. It’s not just a job she’s after and not just a perfect job. QUEST!
If you are on a quest, let me give you a little advice:
BE VERY CAREFUL WHO YOU TALK TO YOU about your dreams, plans, any of it!
Why? Because they gonna pop your bubble. Your well meaning friends and family who have some REALITY for you and are looking after your own good with their warnings and practical advices.
If you decide to share, take it all with a grain of salt because you may suffer what my poor friend did:
her balloon got popped!!!
She was SO excited, feeling her groove, her mojo, NEW PATH and the signs were coming fast and furious YES YES YES and then… just like that… the “friends” started showing up with their naysaying and by the time she spoke to me she wanted an energy read on the situation because of her deflated balloon of excitement. Gone.
Moral of story astrologically? Jupiter goes retrograde this week. You may encounter more of these balloon popping folks although actually many of us are surrounded by these “well meaning” types ALL THE TIME.
Now I’m NOT saying to live in la-la land but there is a time and place for Neptune and there is a time and place for Saturn AND for Jupiter too. It’s okay to reach for the stars. It’s okay to be unrealistic.
Who can you trust? Find out. Have friends (maybe) that you tell your precious fledgling ideas to. It’s not gonna be everyone. Tell your astrologer/tarot reader (such as myself, yes!) who will hold your dream in her hands without crushing it.
So. Jupiter retrograde. People are not gonna be so rah rah rah but this may be true for Jupiter in Scorpio overall to be honest. It’s just a more… SKEPTICAL Jupiter.
And skepticism is the LAST thing we need when we are ON A QUEST!!!
But you know what? I want to talk about integrity. Even though I plan to talk about Jupiter retro and the week ahead, I want to talk about integrity too.
This is on my mind ALL THE DAMN TIME, no doubt in part because Saturn is in Capricorn.
Part of integrity for me is that I live according to my standard. What I think is right or true or good.
Doing the right thing. Am I who I say I am. No two-faced duplicity.
Do you have thoughts on this topic of integrity?
I mentioned earlier that I STOPPED allowing comments on this blog because the spam got out of hand. If you have thoughts on this topic, visit my Facebook. I’m going to start a thread there RIGHT NOW (It’s Sunday 4:30 pm Eastern time March 4th).
I often think about integrity in regards to my YouTube. I’m still figuring out how best to show up there. Not that I’m there without integrity but… I want to do more/better.
But about Jupiter going retrograde…
That happens this week. In Scorpio of course. It happens on Thursday, March 8th. It goes direct July 10th (and I just realized now I think I put the wrong end date in my newsletter!).
What does it mean for us? I like what I said in that email about reviewing our expansion and I’m not just throwing around some obvious Jupiter keyword. I mean it honestly and sincerely, with integrity. With Jupiter we GROW. It’s time to review the pathway thus far.
Are we growing in the right direction? In the right ways? Towards the right places and people? Right track? Are we reaching towards the right future?
Is it time to move on?
What parts of our path and story need revising?
Jupiter in Scorpio likes the deep realms. How can you go even deeper?
I’m thinking about my “career.” The things I am interested in expanding. Are they correct and true? And what about personally? Time to review what has grown.
And what about the house that Jupiter is transiting for you? And in what areas of life have *you* been expanding or growing?
Take a step back. What is there?
Remember that Jupiter and Saturn currently sextile – no matter the degree. Scorpio and Capricorn sextile. Faith and planning.
Also this week: Mercury enters Aries Venus enters Aries
This is huge, y’all. The start of the astrological new year. Almost. We need the Sun to enter Aries for that and that’s this month as well.
The gloomy news:
the week brings us an unpleasant Mercury Saturn square (depression, mean people, negative thinking, inertia, writer’s block) and NO WONDER THE CARDS I DREW FOR MY PATRONS …
but we also two marvelous aspects –
Mars trine Uranus and Sun sextile Pluto. This is dynamic and creative and I’m so sick of the word “power” or “powerful” but how else to describe Sun sextile Pluto. Power without domination. Thing after thing, you get it all done!
So no wonder this week is a little wonky. Any week that has a Mercury Saturn square is going to have its gloomy moments. We have an intense Moon Pluto conjunction on Sunday too but Mars Uranus? Mars Uranus is exciting. And Sun Pluto? Sun Pluto in good aspect is CONFIDENT.
Hold tight. That’s my advice. Weather the Mercury Saturn storm and by Sunday you’ll be inventing a whole new world. Best case scenario, right? Right!
I’m done with Moon Pluto. Done with Moon Pluto Astrology.
Not done with writing or helping people or being an astrologer but done with *this* blog.
My Tree City Witch blog on Patheos Pagan is going to get a new name and it will be a blog proper and not just a “column,” as part of their Agora section.
Although I do want to make that blog more my blog home, I started to realize today that maybe I wasn’t done yet – not done *here* yet.
Writers are never done. A writer is always writing. Even when they aren’t writing. Every moment is an opportunity for new ideas to come. This is how I’ve always lived and it’s what has always happened. Go for a walk and the poems come.
And now on the verge of having my first book published – not of poems but of astrology – I feel like I am a writer again. Even though I never stopped writing.
What are YOU? Have you ever stopped being you?
When I saw all the planets in Pisces this weekend CONJUNCT I thought okay. I’m gonna flow with it. I’m gonna write and I’m gonna reach my Pisces North Node ONCE AND FOR ALL (ha). Can’t fight the Pisces, y’all! It won’t work!
I made a video for my Patrons with some advice and drew cards about this weekend and no surprise to see the Seven of Cups right? Of course Seven of Cups.
Got weekend plans for the Piscean flow? What are you working on?
Here are the links, my friends and OH by the way I turned OFF the comments for this blog. I was getting so much spam it was out of hand and I don’t have a webmaster and… it was just a pain in the ass. Sorry about that!
I promise I will write about this weekend. Probably tomorrow morning after my coffee WHAT A WEEKEND IT IS!!!!
In the meantime I want to tell you to name your path.
This was something I told to a client today. Name the path. The one you are currently on. And it could change. It will change. For the moment, name it.
I told her to surrender. She has a natal Sun Pluto square.
Here’s the thing:
how does a Sun square Pluto person feel safe and secure ever and I do mean EVER when the very basis of her personality (Sun) is destruction (Pluto)?
No matter how much you have, you’ll never feeeeeel safe and secure so it can be freeing to realize this, to realize OH I’ll never feel safe and secure.
So then the questions change. Take THAT question off the table and what else is left???????????????
It’s like someone who is “older” and searching for love their whole life and their whole identity is wrapped around being alone and searching for love and not having love and etc etc etc so what happens when she or he meets the Beloved? And marries the Beloved! And the so-called PROBLEM is gone???
Who are you then?
Who are you without your fear, your lack, your trick, your disease, your despair?
I’m going to give you another warning about this week, okay? Okay!
BUT FIRST a big thank you to astrologer Maria DiSimone who had me on her podcast yesterday! The show will be available on Friday and I’ll make sure to share it here and on my social media.
Why am I giving you another warning?
Because I don’t want you to forget that the Mars Pluto square is exact on Sunday.
Exact = we are building towards this aspect now so it’s growing stronger and stronger day by day. We’re in the hot zone now. It’s Wednesday as I type this and the aspect “perfects” Sunday morning.
Today we are under these sweet gauzy trines including VENUS TRINE NEPTUNE so you may not feel the Mars Pluto undercurrent YET.
Or you may. I’ve had folks on my Facebook say they already blew up at people or vice versa. Mars is in Libra (associated with relationships).
You are going to want to be, well, as graceful as can be even if your pot boileth over on the inside. Stay safe.
As I wrote on my FB Timeline yesterday: I am not predicting any harm to befall you! But I am predicting this sweet Venus Neptune vibe will give way to a beast.
The question then becomes:
how do you handle the beast?
Who is the beast? Is it yours?
What is Mars?
Energy. Passion. Blood. Aggression. Force. NO CONSENT.
Mars does. Mars takes. Mars doesn’t ask questions.
MARS IS NOT A PEOPLE PLEASER. Mars is not nice.
Mars and Pluto together DO NOT REQUIRE YOUR CONSENT.
What is Pluto?
Power. Just one word for now. POWER.
But think of Pluto, for our purposes here, as your inner power. Inner STRENGTH. Inner “I’m gonna get what I want” as opposed to “I can do THIS many push-ups.” The number of push-ups or the amount of weight you lift, that is MARS. But Pluto is the absolute unwavering desire or commitment to the goal, no matter how short or long term. Pluto is a state of mind. Pluto is a plan.
Pluto sets the fire. Mars runs into it.
When these two SQUARE each other, things can go awry, things can go badly, it can get unwieldy. I’m being NICE as I describe this. You drop the weight on your foot. You don’t know your own strength. You hurt yourself. You hurt someone else.
Pluto is refusal. Refusal so stop, refusal to bend. Refusal to indulge in your stupid self-care ritual. I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I GET WHAT I WANT AND I WILL PROBABLY KEEP GOING AFTER THAT says Pluto. And this may be commitment to depression. Commitment to survival. Commitment to winning someone over. Commitment to WINNING. Commitment to NO CHANGE EVER. Commitment to persistent negativity. Commitment to LOVE. Commitment to SERVICE.
Mars gets tired. There is only so much physical energy we can muster. We simply run out of fuel. We collapse. The body stops. Every long distance runner has to stop at some point. Every sex session comes to a close (with or without the little death).
AND THEN THERE IS PLUTO. (And I have a well-aspected Moon Pluto conjunction in my First House in my natal so I know a thing or two about not giving up.)
Unlike Mars, Pluto never tires. Pluto = regeneration. A well-aspected Pluto has an endless energy supply for whatever it craves (according to its placement in your birth chart or by transit). It’s a self-sustaining generator (unless its fuel is another person, which is easy to see in a chart).
Don’t start any fights this week. Don’t poke the bear, don’t take the bait, etc. Avoid people who make you want to punch them in the head. Try to err on the side of playing dumb (smile through your gritted teeth) and don’t follow any ghosts into any abandoned warehouses and you should be just fine.
In this post I want to talk about how it feels because I feel it, this Capricorn Full Moon, and on my Facebook I posted that I consider myself EXPERT LEVEL in feelings but even I feel this one intensely, incoming.
And it’s about to thunderstorm here. Perfect! Rumbly grumbly thunder and leaves and branches blowing and it looks great! Grateful to be inside though listening to my Spotify and writing to you. Lightening flashes and the wind blows. Good thing I’m stocked up on candles and matches. Is that hail? It’s hailing.
So you may feel any or all of these: anxiety sadness angst
Does that cover it? Maybe.
I went to a grocery store this morning and anyone who knows me knows that grocery shopping is my favorite thing in the world, on par with my favorite coffee shop and I still felt anxiety, sadness, and a touch of angst but oh the wonders the wonders!
The store did assuage my anxiety and sadness a bit. It wasn’t a Whole Foods (we don’t have one yet) but it reminded me enough of my favorite NYC Whole Foods, in a good way, and what a perfect thing to do for a FULL MOON IN CAPRICORN opposing a Cancer Sun (which will be in my Solar Return by the way!) with Pluto and Jupiter involved. Food. Hunger. Safety and security. Nourishment, nurturing. Love. Love. Love. Love. Organic lettuce. Love. Love. Love. Cheaper Coconut Milk than Publix and a better brand. Love. Love. Love. Please pass the cacao nibs.
Everything you feel, today and tomorrow, will feel so very very very big.
It may feel like life and death.
It may feel this way.
I recommend a boat. I recommend a raft. Sail away on it. Out into the middle of the ocean, out into the middle of the sea, the big big sea. What music are you listening to out there? Or nothing at all. It’s quiet on the water but for the water.
Wanna know what my raft is? This. You. Us. Talking to you, being with you. And I may bake cookies again today (low carb, ketogenic cookies – one of these days I may start doing grocery store hauls on YouTube unless you beg me not to).
What’s your raft? Where is it? Is it strong enough to hold you? Do you want me to hold you? I can do that. I can carry you.
I’ll draw a card for you, and us, and OH by the way – ALL DAY TODAY I am doing Mini Moon TAROT readings $25 for 15 minutes (no overtime) for Full Moon advice if you are struggling. Today only. Facebook Messenger readings. Or Gmail Gchat.
The thunder sounds like a lion’s roar I kid you not. I drew the Judgement card.
Revelation. Enlightenment. New understanding. (Interps from Yoav Ben-Dov).
Very Full Moon, eh? What’s coming through for you?
What are you figuring out?
Do you know what’s in store?
Turning point, healing.
Healing. Slowly. Over time. Naturally. Or in a flash, like that lightening just now. The Judgement card to me suggests this Uranian flash healing ZAP you are whole!
And maybe a little of both.
I had people complaining, as people tend to do, but MORE people coming to me and saying YES and thanking me.
But let’s move on, for a moment, away from Moon Pluto aspects (although you know we shall return!!!).
Chiron in Pisces went retrograde on July 1st. Venus entered Gemini on July 4th.
Pisces and Gemini “square” and the square is an aspect that you should always be aware of — whether it happens by transit or it’s in your own birth chart.
Keyword TENSION is often associated with the square, and I agree with that, but let’s go a bit deeper, briefly.
The retrograde status of Chiron at this time signals a REVIEW. It’s not a new issue coming to light (is it ever?).
I find that squares are so unconscious that they feel second nature. And they are!
We just do those squares in our charts. We just live them. Whatever! It’s just who we are. We don’t question them. We don’t notice what they are doing but we should!!! Because squares tear us apart, hold us back, mess up our relationships especially if they are Venus squares! Eventually we realize we got PROBLEMS. And that WE, not just fate or other people, are a problem.
Here is a caveat for the haters who read my blog anyway:
YES there are always exceptions YES you may experience your square differently
YES not all squares are created equal
Due to the proliferation of information and astrology experts on the social media, I have to add these caveats – to save the haters from having to waste their precious time and energy from telling me that it’s different for THEM or for people they KNOW.
YES, I am aware.
So the squares are DRIVERS, motivators — we want what we want and the squares get in the way and yet they push us —
they are drivers that repeatedly crash into walls until how the square functions comes to our consciousness. Over and over and over.
your relationships continually fall apart and not in a good way (and you may not even be conscious enough to see this) and you have your natal Venus in a t-square or grand cross in your birth chart.
THIS IS WHY. This is WHY your relationships fall apart.
And until you get under those squares, untangle how they function and YOUR part in the stuckness, it won’t ever change. Realize you have a blind spot and you may need your partner or friends to tell you, show you, without you getting defensive.
SQUARES ARE STICKY.
And you may have a Venus Saturn square and feel like: okay I’m not doing the low side (being cold, distant, parental, taking on an authoritative role, turning the relationship into teacher/student or some other up/down binary) and yet…. that Venus Saturn square keeps Venus’ love (for herself and others) all seized up, cold, and afraid.
Be vigilant about your squares, people. Put them under the microscope. Sometimes I counsel people to toss the microscope but your squares need it. It’s like allergies. You could die if you let your guard down.
While Venus is in Gemini, Venus will square Chiron (and Neptune, but Chiron is the one on my mind today).
And when Venus squares Chiron you will get a heads up. You will feel it!!
This aspect is exact July 30th so consider it “building” until then. Building up to the revelation! Interesting on the same day, Venus is sextile Uranus (which is an easier aspect) and the Moon is in Scorpio. RESEARCH THE WOUND.
The truth or information that is revealed will be about YOU:
how you DO relationship.
How you do love.
How you do social life.
How you do girlfriend or boyfriend or husband/wife/partner.
How you do self-esteem.
How you do friendship.
How you do all these interactions with others.
A painful truth comes.
Forget about THEM. This one is about YOU.
You think everything is so fine. Or not so fine. You think you are in the right. You think you are up on your own personal natal squares. You think you know.
And this: victim victim victim. I’m a victim. I’m an angel and THEY SUCK. Victim of fate. Victim of other people. And here comes Chiron to validate that! Chiron comes along to make you feel worse. I got no money, no love, no health, no meaningful purpose, no god, no this, no that, no man, no woman, no family, no sanity, no home, no beauty, no personality, no clothes, no shoes, whatever your story is, no matter how true or false it is. Venus square Chiron feels like that. Wounded and never gets better.
And yet somehow you are keeping your internet on, reading this blog. Even if that’s all you got, you got it. It’s a start. Waking up is a choice.
So Venus, which is about our survival more than people usually realize, comes along to square Chiron which destabilizes Wounded Healer Chiron from his/her healing and tending activities and studies and mentoring and makes Chiron STOP the healing and tending and fixing and studying and learning and forces Chiron to pay attention to…
her. To Venus. Poor Venus. Ugly and unloved. Not because she’s in Gemini but because Chiron is squaring her and that’s how she feels and nothing can convince her otherwise.
And then it passes. The transit passes and life goes on so the question becomes what to do for and around this – while it’s happening – so you can gain from it instead of just let it pass you by, throwing its bloody thorns.
Venus in Gemini likes to dance. She wants Chiron to dance with her. Clouds part. Love. This Venus square Chiron is about love, your experience of love.
You MAY need to start from the beginning.
* Last night I was all up on YouTube searching for a good novena to St. Rita and I stopped by one video which told the story of St. Rita (a pretty intense one but hey she’s a Saint and they tend to have those kinds of stories) and she is one of those Impossible Causes saints, like St. Jude and I prayed because I got something in my life that sometimes feels like an impossible cause hell yes (sometimes more than one thing! Sometimes a a legion of things that feel this way). And I prayed and I prayed for her intercession (as I tend to do) and I got DEEP into my victim feeling. and it didn’t feel bad. Deep deep deep deep deep and I prayed and prayed and prayed. Pray for us, Saint Rita! You have GOT to help me with this. It requires INTERCESSION n shit.
And the rest of this blog post isn’t about Saint Rita interceding on my behalf – that remains to be seen – but advice for your Venus Chiron transit or if you have a hard Venus Chiron aspect in your chart.
Creative victimhood. Make something of your status, of your station. If you’re gonna play that way, then OWN IT. Have a sense of humor about your lowly worm-ness. Not that prayer is necessarily creative but it was an ACTION. And an action has a little core of belief in it, or a little core of faith. That somehow the situation can change for the better.
I think we can get so lost in Chiron in Pisces. Can feel muddled. It’s so damn vast. No boundaries, no borders. Just floating around in the martyrdom but when the Venus square comes along, your self esteem may very well rise up on a Gemini wave. She wants to dance. She wants to be pretty. She wants to talk! She wants to know she is okay and doesn’t require fixing or healing at all. She IS pretty and she does dance.
The square is like the thorn on Saint Rita’s forehead (you’ll have to google her story if you don’t already know) but Saint Rita wasn’t just a thorn, you know? She wasn’t just a wound.
If you have a HARD Moon Pluto aspect in your chart, then your mother had a problem.
Here’s one scenario. Let’s dive right in:
Our mothers wanted to kill us. Hi Moon (mother) Pluto (death).
Or it may have been more passive — them wishing we’d never been born or wishing we would “just disappear” (and then feeling guilty, and guilt that remains in the shadow and does not become surface consciousness can breed some ugly monsters, like projection, projection onto the child).
When a person doesn’t admit the full range of human emotion, that’s when the problems start. The problem isn’t the FEELING as much as denying the feeling.
So it’s likely subconscious on their part. But WE feel. We see it. We feel it. It’s too taboo for her to feel. And add this on to whatever other problems there were, her childhood, her marriage, her life situation, the stresses of motherhood, etc. Not that I’m making excuses for the evils that *some* parents do. Because I don’t make excuses.
If a mother doesn’t want her child, if a mother abandons or neglects or abuses her child (emotionally physically sexually), has bad boundaries with her child, all of this of course goes against the Ideal Mother idea, which she also has in her head. We all do. So it stays in the shadow space and gets projected onto the poor kid who was born into it. Innocent.
And this is one reason why I love astrology. Because we have the star language to discuss it.
If you have a Moon Pluto hard aspect, there were times when your mother wished that you were never born or she treated you that way, with such discard. Maybe she wanted an abortion or a miscarriage and didn’t have one, wasn’t able.
She projected her violent self loathing onto you and you as a child absorbed this. You had no choice. It was your womb. And you either turn it against yourself or others, in some way, somehow.
as a grown-up you can be free of her projected violent self-loathing. It fact, you have to become a PERSON not a projection. To be happy. Become a SELF. This is what healing is.
This may be hard for you to imagine if you had a healthy mother most of the time. You can’t imagine what it is for the caregiver to abandon or neglect or abuse. You haven’t known it.
You may also have a Moon Pluto hard aspect and not see yourself in this but you likely will, eventually. Some part of this blog post description will ring in your ears if you remember it.
So how does one heal? This is the most important question of all and I drew the Hanged Man for us.
First, there has to be a period of full acceptance of what was. Without ANY self-blame. Full acceptance of what the REALITY was. No excuses. Full reality. Holding her accountable. For what was. Clearly, fully.
As Marsha Linehan wrote: acceptance of reality is not the same as judging it good.
So this means no Neptune, no clouds, no excuses. Of course it may have been good some of the time and bad some of the time and neutral some of the time but some bad is REALLY REALLY BAD and it’s important not to curtain it off, section it off, into some shadow brain space.
I believe that if you don’t see things for how they were or are, to the best of your ability, you cannot truly heal or be healthy. For example, if your mother was psychotic, you can’t pretend she wasn’t. Labels can be helpful in this way. Name the behaviors. Behaviors are not that hard to identity and name. Does it take courage? Yeah, it does.
Because also if you try to discuss such things with “friends” or family members, they probably don’t want to go there unless they too are a Moon Pluto person who has come to consciousness.
Reality is the only way out of hell and Moon Pluto children were born into the mother’s hell.
Most important: it’s not your fault. It wasn’t your fault. But you do not have to continue living as a projection of your mother’s violent self-loathing.
You can find YOU.
This happens all the time — there are people who live their lives and we interact with them, but they are projections not actual “people.” Know what I mean?
There is hope but hope comes with the price. If you start on this process, you will feel heartbroken for a good long while. I can promise you that. But eventually you will learn to live side by side with this heartbreak. Not that it makes the past okay but that you co-exist and THEN you can love and be happy and healthy in all the ways you dream of.
Depending on your time zone, the Sun enters Cancer Tuesday or Wednesday and the Cancer New Moon is on Friday.
All that heavy analysis will get you nowhere now. All that rigidity. Time to flow and cry and feel. Sorry Air signs We are gonna DUNK YOU. You may have plenty of feels but not like this. The depth of this. The easy tears like this. The home sweet home babka like this. Cancer is fleshy and wet and fecund. We are not an earth sign, no, but we are the soft deep muddy after the rain AND we are the rain. Mother. Moon Earth. Good Mother. Gentle Father. Love.
I have my Sun, Mercury and Mars in the sign of Cancer and my Moon (which rules Cancer!) is in Virgo. And my Moon is conjunct Pluto thus the name of this blog.
I like being a lot of something and my something is magnified, intensified by PLUTO, which is as powerful as it gets. Powerful emotions, powerful intuition, powerful nurturing, and not afraid of death. And more! Moon Pluto is not for everyone.
Yesterday I was hanging out with a Scorpio friend and we were joking about an on-line dating profile that he wrote for a friend so I said make one for me! And I said: I know I’m not for everyone and he thought that was a good start. His handwriting is beautiful. But then he changed the first line to “Lioness of Judah…”
Funny but not sure how much of the littler curlicued paragraph we shall keep if any. MOON PLUTO IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. MOON PLUTO IS NOT VENUS!
What does Cancer need? How to love a Cancer? YES these are the questions we are all supposed to be asking now as the Sun is about to enter Cancer.
And you know what? I’m not going to give you an easy answer here. I’m going to take a CANCER poll on my Facebook. I’ll be back to report my findings…
QUESTION: What is the essence of Cancer?
Of being a Cancer? (I have my Sun and Mercury and Mars there).
That it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to retreat. It’s okay to self-protect. It’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to cry.
You know you are doing Cancer right when you let yourself feel AND when the feelings of others don’t scare or threaten you. You don’t try to silence them or change them AND YET sometimes complications ensue! Read on, my dear.
The other day I had a fight with a water sign friend.
I don’t usually fight with friends so… that says something right there.
Is he a friend? Maybe not. One of the many things he said was that I wasn’t sensitive to his feelings.
BUT the thing is this – and this is a Cancer THING – his feelings were about ME, about something I had done.
So I felt rejected. He shamed me – for being me.
(And he would probably disagree with that assessment but this isn’t his blog.)
One morning, I had sent him a message, the contents of which made him uncomfortable – my usual Moon Pluto self was too much for him at that moment in time and there I was just being jolly and chatting away and COMFORTABLE, but he made it clear this was NOT okay and then proceeded to tell me that he should be able to tell me how he feels about my behavior and that I should understand and be fine with it. Yes Sir please may I have another?
I felt hurt and rejected. All I was doing was… saying hello the way I sometimes say hello. With enthusiasm! With someone I feel comfortable with. My way of showing comfort and love. I was sharing. MYSELF.
Note to self: Not everyone wants love, Aliza. INDEED.
Or experiences it the way YOU do.
Clearly I had misjudged the connection entirely. And you know what (and this isn’t about him) but some people PLAY deep but aren’t really deep. They don’t’ really want connection. They kind of… pose. What they rather do is live in escape and denial. But in public they “appear” to live a spiritually and psychologically rich life but in essence they… are not. The ME you see here is the me I am all the time.
But something about me (AS USUAL, I should say) was too much. For this person. This was not someone I could be Moon Pluto with. At least, not whenever I felt like it. I couldn’t be me and be received. No safety thus… no friendship.
QUESTIONS FOR FURTHER STUDY
Can you relate? Do you have people you can truly be yourself with, share your feelings with?
Do you have friends that you can send a message to at 8 am on a Saturday morning and they will receive it? I don’t mean respond at 8 am but… receive it. Accept it. From the heart. Instead of finding fault.
Moral of the story:
This New Moon could herald a breakthrough for you.
The Moon will conjoin MERCURY. Mercury walks and talks and thinks and in Cancer you can get to a pretty deep place, trust your intuition, and since we are all Cancers during Cancer Season we’re supposed to do this:
retreat when we need to
For information about Readings, just message me at Moonpluto@gmail and we can talk about all this and more xoxo love you
To soothe your Root Chakra (yes, soothe, not fix not heal), clean your house.
This can be as simple as a simple sweep but what I find SO difficult is, again, this perfectionism which is at the root of Venus Chiron square Saturn pain: it won’t ever be perfect. It will still be “dirty,” it will still be “toxic” but the truth is:
it is NOT dirty. It is NOT toxic.
Your body, your home, YOU are not dirty and not toxic and you do not need a cleanse.
So this morning I was posting in the class about Crown Chakra because I wanted to start at the top but my search led me to Root and irony indeed I was cleaning my root, my house, when I got an IBS flare-up (hello Root Chakra) and felt bad about my inability to properly clean this huge house and as I was saying yesterday: it won’t ever be done. We aren’t ever done.
So what? What if it just sits there? What if you sit there with it? You and the dust and dirt on the window blinds? What then? Can you sit with it? Knowing what is there? Proof. How does that feel? To be “dirty”? To have an unfinished task? To be imperfect and wrong because having a “dirty” house or a “dirty” body is wrong isn’t it? Isn’t it? What if you had no reason to feel guilty. Indeed you have no reason to feel guilty. I wonder if you can let the guilt go. If you’ll allow it. Holding onto it is exactly what creates the sludge in your chakras.
North Node leaves Virgo for Leo in May so let’s get these lessons while we can.
I wanted to give you some advice for this week which is filled with topsy turvy energy:
Sun enters Taurus
Mars enters Gemini
Mercury is rx and returns to Aries
Pluto goes retrograde
If you were born into a family who is gone for whatever reason (they are dead, you cut them off, they cut you off, abandonment, etc etc etc) it may be helpful to go about soothing the Root Chakra in unconventional ways, away from the “expert” opinions, I mean this morning I quite quickly (oh not that quickly) discovered that in part I soothe my Root Chakra THROUGH my Crown Chakra. For me it’s not about NATURE or putting crystals all over my body or PERFECT WHOLE FOODS.
Crown helps Root, FAITH/God helps Root. Crown IS Root. See? Find YOUR truth.
For some of us the Root Chakra won’t ever be this EARTH SCHOOL IDEAL of… money in the bank, family in the bank, secure partnerships in the bank, health in the bank, every goddamn thing saved up and in the bank and Taurus Season is coming.
I discover most things through experience. I do some listening, some reading but mostly I learn from personal, intimate experience. Just telling you who I am. I know a lot of people who are filled to the brim with classes and book learning and this teacher and that but not me. I do not judge them. Just showing you how I am different. What I tell you is what I know from my experiences in my BODY. It’s never theory. So I learn a little something and I take it INTO my body and out comes something else, MY TRUTH. Absorb, process, share.
Clear light. Clear channel. Find the gunk. This is something easy to visualize. Where is the block. Start at the top and can you go all the way down in your mind? Where is the gunk? You can gently relax those chakras so they feel less afraid.
This week I recommend more stillness than ever before. Chakra study for fun not for self flagellation or finding new ways you are sick. Simple tasks okay but keep MISSION tasks to a minimum. Start but don’t finish. Have relaxed Pisces-flow-mind while doing Virgo small steps. Keep options open. More circles and less straight lines. Both/and instead of either/or.
I am freezing as I type to you, but I have to type to you.
It is c c c cold in North Florida today and the house I live in is also c c c cold today even though YES I have heat, and the heat is on, and I’ve got a space heater on me as well.
I was doing a reading for someone this morning, and we hung up, and about 5 minutes after I got so cold. This is common in this work actually. I mean, it IS cold out there, but readers may notice body temperatures changes before, during and after working with clients.
But what I want to talk to you about today is the Moon and Moon Pluto and home.
This isn’t quite a part two of my post from other day (linked here if you haven’t read it yet) but Pluto is still on my mind, as is the Moon, because I was doing my morning puttering and making lists and making coffee and worrying and trying not to worry and I said to myself:
everybody has a place. Meaning, me too. And my place is, dare I say it, right here.
This is a Moon Thought because the Moon rules home, where we feel at home, and that’s what I meant by “place” and then of course I thought about my own natal Moon Pluto conjunction and how Pluto can really gut us, but that’s not all.
Pluto can deliver us (but to where, to where MoonPluto???)
The Moon is in Scorpio as I type this and the Moon will trine Neptune and sextile Pluto. It’s a good Moon day despite the looming Sun Saturn square which perfects tomorrow. Don’t even think about whether you can or can’t. Just Ten-of-Wands it. Go back to the climb. You’ll get there. Keep going.
And I want you to think about this. That everybody has a place. That means you too. Wherever you are, reading this, that’s your place, despite it not being perfect or maybe it is perfect, and I pray you are not “Homeless” as you read this. I wish for you to find your place and to feel at home in your space. Comfortable. Safe. That you have a space, a place, that is all yours (yes even you renters!) and whoever you choose to invite in. Yes, spirit guides are real!!!
The Moon Pluto people (of which I am one yes yes yes and thus my obsession) have a tricky position when it comes to feeling at home because we know we KNOW that home can die, that mother (moon) can fail us, and mother is/was our original home and in part this is why my devotion to the Divine Mother has changed my life so profoundly. She connected me to female energy that is, well, Pluto-free, and despite my “love” for Pluto, I must transform Pluto energy as well.
Sometimes I catch myself not relaxed. I don’t even realize my hyper vigilance, my PTSD, it’s so natural for me to be “this way” that I do not even realize my hunched shoulders or that I’m not breathing or being present in my own body and yet I feel so sunk in my body (i.e. my point of view or thinking)… so I remind myself to come into my body to COME HOME and be in it.
I do this, as a practice, and it changes everything. Even Moon Pluto can do this. Even Moon Pluto people can come home
Two things: after all these years the on-line Poetry Workshop (no. 1) will happen. Did you know I have two books coming out? 2018/2019 and one of them is a poetry (well, actually it’s a hybrid, a new form). I got my MFA from Iowa many moons ago but also left poetry behind many moons ago until around 2013/2014 or so it returned to my life and since then I’ve been wanting to combine my love for poems and for divination in a workshop and so we begin this spring. Details to come in new blog post this weekend.
And I am starting to do a new kind of reading more and more it’s very Virgo, it’s a look at the MONTH ahead for you, in detail – transits (and tarot too if you want). Looking at “minor” aspects as well for a complete picture. You can purchase one for $95 or a bundle for $340 (four sessions at $85 each).
Otherwise, single sessions (60 and 30 min are as usual). Details to come about the writing group. Love you!!!
I’ve got so much on my mind. I’m not sure where to start. I’ve been all up in my social media the last few days going on and on and on about PLUTO and power. And I’m thinking about energy work a.ka. MAGICK. And yes I do spell it with a K. Magick is the defense (or the offense) of the powerless. It’s more than that of course but hear me out –
There is a raw power us Pluto people have and this raw power can back up, can turn on itself. I have a moon pluto conjunction in my first house and thus the name of this blog. And honestly I don’t even want to define what I mean by PLUTO PEOPLE because I don’t want to leave anyone out but for sure Pluto conjunct your Sun or Moon and for sure Pluto in the first house and you have this power and it will f**k you up if you don’t know how to work with it, what to do with it. You can’t just let it sit there. It will wither and and stink and rot and people will hate you. You have to give your Pluto a purpose.
If you do not give your Pluto a purpose, a JOB, you WILL feel powerless (despite the power), become depressed FOR DECADES, continue victimhood year after year because you keep attracting and keeping the wrong people and situations as your mental health plummets – NOT that I blame you because maybe nobody ever told you and they don’t teach astrology in school but I want to show you that – YOU HAVE THIS POWER but you can’t just… la la la.. be NEPTUNE about it. You can’t be Neptune with Pluto. You can’t just hope for the best. You have to be aware of it, work with it, shape it. ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE and that people see your Pluto, respond to your Pluto. Be aware. Own it. Figure out how to behave in the world. You may attract sociopaths and even if you have been victimized PLEASE identify with another archetype as well. That’s fine. There is more than one card in the Tarot deck. There is more than one script for you to read. You may have been abused but you are MORE than that.
An idle Pluto is a sick Pluto.
I was talking to a client this morning with a first house Pluto and I swear we WILL SUFFER until we become ruthless. Ruthless with our faith and our magick and our refusal to die and by die I mean to accept less than our power requires. Anger is righteous, Anger is good. Let your Pluto stir you to an angry frenzy when you feel powerless and NOT to hurt anyone but to draw to you people and situations that will help you rise and rebirth like the Phoenix you are.
Does this make sense? Are you nodding your head? Do you know what I’m talking about?
You will feel uncomfortable if you work with this energy. If you decide to access your Pluto. You will get tired and need to take breaks. Believe it or not, Pluto in the first house, or Pluto Sun or Moon can be quite meek. YOU tuning in to your power, becoming your power, it won’t feel yummy good like Venus or spiritual like Neptune. You will feel like you are transgressing and you are (and yet you are supposed to) But honestly, for the Pluto person, I don’t know of any other way.
And I want to reassure you, again, that it’s OKAY to be angry and in fact, anger is a magickal seed here. I think without a seed of that anger your spells will fall flat and again I am NOT talking about curses or revenge or hurting people. I am talking about MANIFESTATION. What you want. And that your emotions are your energy and I think you need to realize how powerful that energy is.
HOROSCOPES for the Week of March 5th (posting four at a time)
When I think about this week for you, Aries, I think about the desert, and how there is a difference between the desert and the wasteland. I wrote a poem about it once, quoting a Scorpio friend. “In the desert, there’s hope,” he said. He was remarking at *my* remarking on the desert beauty, which wasn’t desert at all, but death for miles. This is your week, dear Aries, to knowing the difference between death and hope and knowing how long to drive to get there.
I’m thinking about the water, Taurus. I think you have to do more than dip your toe in, foot in, ankle in, knee, hip. All of you has to immerse. Don’t you see? Don’t you feel it? Last night I was at a bar with an atheist friend who told me that if she were to be baptized again she’d want to go all in. She raised her arms above her head. “I’m a sinner,” she said. Wash me. Make me clean.” It was that kind of night. It’s that kind of week. But the only “sin” that I can see is your stubborn refusal to believe — in yourself.
I had a dream about a love letter. You wrote it to me, Gemini. You were telling me about your big plan, big dream, and how you were going one step at a time. I nodded. You described feeling overwhelmed when you looked out the window or put your hand in your purse to touch your wallet when paying for groceries. Mundane shit like that, but then you signed the letter with the biggest X’s and O’s I’d ever seen. Kisses from heaven. My advice: hold the heaven in your hand like one of those nickels you’re so afraid to touch, but touch.
I wouldn’t mind a Cancer girlfriend. Tears don’t bother me. Feelings are juicy, nectar, those cherries from my Whiskey Sour last night, and I’m listening to Bon Iver, wondering what it would be like to kiss you, if it would feel like “Holocene.” Fall in love with yourself this week, dear Cancer. I know that may sound repulsive and although my love life for the last decade-ish has been mostly Grey’s Anatomy, I have hope for us. This world is an orphan, and we are the mother of the stars.
Dear Star Lovers: Now that I’ve handed in the first draft of my manuscript (I have a book coming out with Weiser in 2018) I can BLOG again.
Love you xx
In one of the chatrooms today someone was thanking me for my gifts and I had no clue what she meant.
I asked her to explain it. I’m dense sometimes. And a Virgo Moon. What you mean, lady?
It was a perfect example of someone saying something and me going huh???
Because I do not feel that I go through life sharing my gifts – that’s not how I think. I am just me “doing my thing or whatever.” I mean, I did feel inspired to return but I wasn’t all like: check this shit out!!!!
So she kindly explained and I am sharing it not as an ego boost but as a manifesto of sorts.
And a couple questions for YOU:
What gifts do you have that you want to share? Or not share? Do you think of those “gifts” as “gifts” ?
I just mean that you are a gifted writer and that you think and communicate deeply and passionately about your life and your spiritual struggles. And sharing that to me is a gift. Because you are letting people in to a part of your process–of course not the whole process, no one can know that—but you’re willing to be seen and from what it sounds like, deeply misunderstood while doing so.
To me that’s brave. And your writing can offer solace and healing to those who are hurting in their own lives (whether you intend that or not)
But I’m Scorpio rising : ) Maybe it doesn’t feel like a gift to you–maybe it just feels like what you have to do to survive or….fill in the blank. But that feels like a gift to me.
YES YES YES YES
“It just feels like what I have to do to survive.”
The first part of this blog post is from my Facebook…
I am going to be talking about this, blogging about this.
As my 2015 Solar Return year winds down – and I consider dating again – everything I’ve learned up to this point… about Venus square Saturn… about Moon conjunct Pluto (two natal aspects that I have) about VALUES and self worth, self esteem, about friendship…
Howard Sasportas was right and it sounds corny to say – but the most important Venus issue is self-worth.
Does your behavior match how you say you feel about yourself? Know thyself. If you feel shitty, know it! If you feel grand, know that too! Find the truth!
And it’s something you feel – that you feel SELF-POSSESSED and will not let yourself down, will not betray yourself, your values…
It’s okay to say no – to a date, to an offer, to sex.
It’s okay for someone to like you and you don’t have to DO anything.
And it’s also okay to say YES – if you want to.
Yesterday was talking to a client and – I had had a similar experience to her – the yo-yo thing.
Guy shows up. Love bombs, promises, seduces. And disappears.
Her yo-yo experience is lasting longer than mine. She has more time in yo-yo hell.
But she WILL get past it. She will. It wasn’t an overly obsessive chart but with Virgo Rising she’s got Pluto transiting her 5th (obsessive, intense).
But I felt confident she would find love again – just not with this dude.
It’s okay to want more. It’s okay to want someone who treats you nicely and with care!
Don’t you deserve to be treated with care? See? That’s self-worth! And also recognizing the difference between caring and the lack of it… sometimes we cannot see this, especially those of us with Neptune charts! We see the POTENTIAL. How they may be at some time in the future. Well, my dears, the time is NOW. Interaction is NOW — not in some fantasy future.
So much was happening in my yo-yo experience. It was a complex time in my life. I really wasn’t ready to be with anyone and I wasn’t looking but he came on strong and we got to talking and eventually we met. I’ll say we “dated” but that isn’t quite the right word. We Eight Housed it. And I don’t just mean the physical.
After we moved past some difficult moments I thought we were in the clear. BUT THEN a behavior of his made me angry (I won’t specify here) and I told him so. Indelicately. Assertively. I felt hurt. I asked various male friends: would you do such and such? Everyone agreed he did not behave well. So I said my piece.
You can guess what that did…. he backed off.
I felt bereft — here I was feeling like I was NOT being treated with care, getting angry about it, and then regretting my actions even though I believe it was my self-worth that was standing up for me. I wish I had just let it go then and there. But I didn’t. I kept trying to figure it out. Kept feeling badly. Kept tying myself up in knots. Kept drawing Tarot cards. Kept hoping. Kept looking for hope. The connection felt like once in a life time and then… poof.
As the months passed I got to know him better in this estranged state from texts here and there. I saw parts of his personality that I didn’t like at all. Began to see him clearly. Shallowness. Meanness. Lies. All of that was shadowy until it wasn’t anymore.
Something I realized last night. I could do it now. I can date NOW. I couldn’t last year. Anything I tried would have failed unless that person had a maturity and patience far beyond mine (rare). And perhaps not even then. I had to this (the realizations and inner changes) on my own. But this grueling yo yo experience help CREATE the calm I feel now and the potential I feel now. I made it through the wilderness. And if I choose to be with someone again – it will be unlike anything that came before.
I honestly believe that if I had not been emotionally raked across coals with that one? I wouldn’t be who I am now – in regards to matters of the heart.
And I’d been searching for the meaning of this brief intense passionate once in a lifetime THING for almost a full year. Grateful to have found it. The meaning.
We walk through the Eight House and we come to the Ninth and we make meaning there – of what we do in the dark.
It happens. It happens more and more due to the internet and internet dating. This is what the Saturn Neptune square is for – REALITY. Take that illusion and smash it against the rocks.
The June Special is winding down! Ask me for details. Ongoing: Teaching and Reading Bundles, the Chat Room has room, the Tarot and Astro Weekly Subscriptions and…
Moon in Capricorn trine Jupiter (earth to earth, harmonious, but Capricorn and Virgo are workaholic) and Moon conjunct Pluto (emotionally intense – hi! that’s my aspect but in Virgo in my natal) AND Mercury in Aries on Uranus and…
I think you know what I’m going to say. That Mercury Uranus is revelatory and liberating and free but that the earth emphasis can make you feel tethered.
But is that so bad? Inspiration and the energy to do something with it?
In other news, I’m thinking about tattoos.
So when I have my new lover that he (or she) can lick them. What transit is THAT you may ask? Probably my Aries 8th House. I’ve got Sun and Mercury cruising through there and Venus will be too, soon enough… Sex and death, right? The Eighth House. I died. I died and I came back. Hello from Florida.
I’d been predicting a whole bunch of shit for this week. Didn’t like the Mercury aspects at all. Didn’t like Venus Chiron either but I feel, for the moment, a parting of the storm clouds.
Should you still watch your tongue (Mercury), your mouth (Mercury), your mind (Mercury)? YES.
* I’ve been writing all kinds of intense stuff on my Facebook the last couple days, Pluto stuff. I will cut and past some of it here because it could help with your hard transits:
The other thing to do under hard transits is surrender. Maybe the only thing. You can’t fight Pluto. Can’t romanticize it. Can’t pretend everything is okay when it’s not. (Well you can but you’ll run yourself into the ground.)
And ask: what does my god ask of me? What does my life ask of me? And ignore everything else. Pluto transits mean you’re not okay. Nothing is okay. So better to be okay with that than deny it. Only then can you start to build if building is what you must do. I read someone’s status update about Pluto the other day and thought to myself: bullshit. This person doesn’t know Pluto or astrology. They’ve read the wrong book or worse no book at all. Just memes and Instagram. So basically I’m telling you it’s okay to be not okay with the state of things. Let it wake you up.
In defense of bad boundaries:
And here is something radical that you don’t hear often, if at all –
sometimes it’s better to have “bad” boundaries.
I’m in support of flexible boundaries.
Here’s what I’m thinking…
you have to have “good boundaries” to do this work, so they say, protect your energy etc. but there comes a point where that can’t be a reader’s main concern anymore — should be automatic. That you’re healthy enough to have that shit in place without fuss.
And I don’t even think you should have to be obsessed with cleansing and protecting. Again, automatic.
Your boundaries can’t be too good or too tight- all that does is create distance, that “you over there with the problem” —
You can’t be afraid of contamination and too many are.
The best readers for me are the ones who can get in there and stand in the shit with me, not the ones who keep polite distance making me feel that my problems are so horrible or so extraordinary. As if I don’t already know. Believe me I know that my life doesn’t resemble yours. And that’s precisely why (in part) I can help people. Because I’m not going to judge how fucked up things became for you. I’m not going to lie or hide.
Polite distance and “boundaries” won’t get me anywhere. What gets me “somewhere” is the merging.
So here I am in support of fewer boundaries in doing THE WORK – in terms of really helping people. That’s the radical part. Not everyone can do this. And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
And then my friend Lyone made an EXCELLENT point which really encapsulated what I was trying to say:
Hmmmm…..On the other hand, having good boundaries can allow you to get very very close, because you have no fear of losing your self.
* And if you made it to the end of this post then you’ll know that I am running a special just this weekend — Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Two for One. Purchase an hour long reading ($115) and get two hours to use whenever!
I was just going to offer it to my Facebook Friends but decided to put it on the blog too.
I wake up trying to figure everything out, everything.
I’m trying to remember the words a Tarot reader said to me the other day (yes I get readings too sometimes!). I’m trying to decide whether to get one little cookie with the blue sprinkles, or two, from the Mexican bakery. I’m noticing that Kitty is acting a bit more spritely and could the good energy I sent her last night from meditation class have done some good. And I’m listening to Lyle Lovett. Whatever happened to him? Is he still around?
I want to tell you about last night’s class — how when we were doing the breathing techniques, the breathing exercises, during the exhalation part I imagined that I was dumping anything I didn’t need, including extra Moon Pluto emotional intensity, letting it all go, how this is also a purpose to meditation, that we can include any purpose we want and we can mediate all day long because we are breathing and exhaling all day long.
In my September Meeting Place (my September class) I’ve been pushing the gals to sit in a rather “traditional” style, very straightforward, very gentle but with some discipline to it (not window gazing, not flying around the room) but last night I added in more, I added in this emotional process for myself, and I’m going to do it today too, with every out breath, every time I remember, let it go. Breathe out sadness. Breathe out confusion. Breathe out WTF. Doesn’t really matter what it is, but keep letting it go. You can even imagine it in the room with you – after it’s out of your body. You can see it. You can see it dispelling into the air, transforming itself, becoming a good perfume or sunlight or part of the air itself, compost, and helpful, foundational, able to help hold you up when you need it. Or you can send it to the earth. And maybe just maybe if you do this practice you’ll… see new value in this emotional intensity once it’s outside of your body. Maybe you’ll recognize who those emotions (some of them) belong to — I did this just now, letting my emotions out through the out breath and into the air and I saw my mother (which makes sense of course for someone who has a Moon Pluto conjunction!)
You Moon Pluto people: you can HEAL yourselves and others as much as you can hurt (yourselves and others).
There is something I am confused about in my life right now. I don’t know what to do. There is nothing I *can* do except keep breathing and writing and let it go and trust it will all be resolved. This is VERY different from trying to seize control and forcing answers or results or wandering around howling!
One has to feel the feelings though – if a Moon Pluto person (for example) doesn’t FEEL them, they get backed up like a clogged toilet (we are talking Pluto here and Pluto rules shit and elimination) — they can’t all STAY in the body. There has to be a removal machine, discharge, thus the breath.
It is the letting go itself that transforms it, Anais!
Do you meditate?
Monday I started advertising a reading *special* on my Facebook. If you want the details, you have to email me at moonpluto@gmail and I’ll tell you what I’ve got going on. This week only. Readings don’t have to be completed this week (schedules may not match up) but purchase before Friday midnight.
I was trying to describe my state of mind on my Facebook.
My friend Lyone suggested the word “rebirth” but I told her no and described it more (like being the only one left after the nuclear holocaust and reminding me of various scenes from LOST, slow, quiet, time expanding, end of the world feeling) and she said I sounded like a survivor. I think that’s it.
On the outside things appear the same in a sense: eating, drinking, bodily functions, sleeping, working, bills, taking care of the animals, exercising, routine, schedule, television, music, cleaning, but everything is different now. There was a sharp knife. There was a sharp knife that made a cut down through the body of my life.
I remember when my mother died I also had a then/now feeling but this is different.
Another feeling — noticing everything. Not in the sense of Virgoan picky detail – more like – there is more space in me and around me. My focus has improved. That’s what it is. Suddenly I can read again, focus. I’m not looking to be distracted either. And I hear the sound of the ceiling fan flapping. And the Neil Young I’m listening to and it’s really quiet out there for a Saturday afternoon (hope it stays!) and I don’t know what next. I get occasional impulses. Occasional fear. Occasional sobs. My Cancer Sun/Moon Pluto in Virgo conjunction tends to process intense emotions pretty quickly as long as I can enter them. Stillness.
I drew the Seven of Wands today (we are drawing a card each weekend in my current class.) Some words from the extraordinary Angeles Arrien:
if you have the courage to stay by what you value, things will unfold like the lotus blossoms, renew and regenerate themselves or allow you to move in new directions that you value… and you are able to see things more clearly; and able to honor your vision…
I think of the Seven of Wands as … more work to be done but you will win. Keyword: valor.
And then I drew the Chariot in response to this feeling that I’m having. Looks like I may be leaving the mountaintop sooner than I think…
As I posted on Facebook a moment ago: I had a stomach ache for the Full Moon — no surprise under a Moon Pluto aspect (Moon being associated with the stomach and Pluto is INTENSE) but also a clean bill (bone) of health from the ortho clinic. The Moon was trine my Ascendent, exact.
Today the Moon continues her stay in Capricorn so I recommend you continue to work hard (Saturn always does, even Saturn squares work hard, but often at something far more self-defeating than the trine or sextile) but remember that we have a wonky inconjunct today. Moon vs. Jupiter Venus and the temptation will be to buy a new handbag rather than work hard to earn the money to pay for the handbag. Jupiter Venus is a spendy influence (luxury anyone?) but Capricorn zips up the wallet!
Also been hearing from some of my peeps — some with good news, some with scary, some with in-between. Lots of revelatory news all around though which is what a Full Moon is for
Best of today: Mercury sextile Uranus! Brain food, bright ideas, big lights! Mercury Uranus, to me, is a vision quest right outside your door (the Third House, associated with Mercury, is your immediate environment).
I think I may head out and about today. Mercury Uranus? Who knows what I’ll discover!
** I am doing a Summer Special this June and July. And we can talk about whatever you want but Transits + Tarot is one option. I put a link to this on my PayPal form so you can order through the site. Phone/Skype or Messenger. No Email Readings with this. One chart only (two charts okay IF I’ve seen the second chart before. No new synastry readings) 60 minutes = $65. You can give these as gifts. You can buy them in bulk it’s pretty awesome. I decided to do this because I listen to my gut — telling me that there were some people I needed to make contact with (for the first time or again) and this would help bring it.
If you’ve been keeping up with the blogs, then you know I’ve been talking about liberation and transformation.
As I type here I feel super sleepy (didn’t sleep well last night + medication side effect) but I had a GREAT visit with my nurse-midwife and now I, we, have a PLAN. Something I didn’t have before.
I look forward to… getting back up to speed. I’ve started doing readings again and am in process of rescheduling people I had to delay and…
THANK YOU kind people for all your sweet words and inquiries and support during my slowed down schedule of April. Thank you. Thank you for understanding when I couldn’t tend to you because I had to tend to me.
This work I do is caregiving. It’s the old airplane thing. If I don’t put on my oxygen mask first, I can’t help you with yours.
And maybe being sleepy isn’t such a bad thing. I don’t mean sleepy all the time or dysfunctional sleepy but sleepy in the sense of… sleeping more. More breaks. More naps. More slowing down. Interestingly enough my work got BUSIER while I was not well. I had to reschedule people sometimes, but the work flowed in.
Another side effect to not being well: I appreciate LIFE so much more now. I am a “little thing” kind of person anyway. Virgo Moon. Taking pleasure in the little things. And even more now. Binge-watching a favorite t.v. show. Ordering in delicious Indian food. Time with the cats. Talking to friends. Pleasure. Basics. Stripped down. Because I felt so horrible. Every prayer was a prayer for relief. Virgo Moon happy to be back to work
MoonPluto’s Liberation Tarot Spread
Card One: who you were…
Card Two: who you are…
Card Three: who you are becoming…
Card Four: release this
Card Five: keep this
Card Six: increase this
Card Seven: your true self, the culmination of all your experience thus far & the result of all your personal growth and spiritual practice and life journey and angels and demons & WHY YOU ARE HERE YOUR DIVINE LIFE PURPOSE (yes I’m going there)
Please feel free to share your Tarot in the comments xo
I was working on my site makeover (which you see here) and my taxes and I had some health issues in February and I want to visit my sister depending on health matters normalizing and… now what?
It was all these big projects. Do I now have the space to decide? Which one to approach? Or more than one?
What is the most important thing NOW? What is the priority, besides what is right in front of me, my clients, home…
Virgo usually sees what is right there and can miss the Big Picture. Saturn in Sagittarius is retrograde. Does that make our vision bigger or smaller?
The past is.
The present is.
The future is… ?
In between Eclipses. Jupiter goes direct just a few days after the Full Moon. We are hovering, neither here nor there.
I did a Celtic Cross for myself before taking a nap.
Nine of Wands was my outcome. “You will live to fight another day.”
Discipline. Courage. Strength. Looks like I’m not giving up.
Virgo Moon says:
If you are in the fight zone, you may need some extra rest. I suggest felines for this. And a comfortable mattress. And a good tea. More than one mattress, more than one tea. I’ve been making ginger infusions (although not before bed — ginger is stimulating) but drinking it until around this time (late afternoon). I also like more than one place to sleep. And more than one cat.
The Full Moon Eclipse on Saturday no doubt brings a resolution or ending to some part of your life and yet…? More question marks again.
I like these words from DJ Conway in her Moon Magick book:
In order to open a new door, we must close an old one. Often we know this must be done, but are at a loss of how to do it. This ritual will set the stage. Be prepared to take advantage of the opportunities that will present themselves.
Are you ready to close one door and open another? What will you do?