I’m a writer but maybe I was a helper before I was a writer — able to contain the pain of others. A job given to me but also my nature.
Yesterday with my cousin, her pulse speeding away, I felt in my element, completely calm, soothing, even distracting her with a quick Tarot reading in the waiting room of Weill Cornell. I got home and felt not exhausted (frightened people are supposed to exhaust us, right?) but full, fulfilled. And at first I thought: I am living my Venus in the 12th House! And then I thought: this must be my Moon Pluto conjunction. And then, finally, I hit on it: Sun, Mercury, and Mars in Cancer. The Mother. I got to be the good mother for an afternoon. “And all will be well.” She has her doubts that things will be better here, or in the afterworld, but I know otherwise.
Saying goodbye to Cancer Season doesn’t mean we say goodbye to good mothers or good mothering. It can happen anytime, when you least expect it.
So now what?
Leo Season, Venus retrograde in Leo, North Node in Aries, Pluto square the Nodes and it’s raining in the big city.
Today I thought I was gonna drop dead when I was standing in the sun feeling it beat on me, even with my black parasol.
So now what: Trying to square away the Rosh Hashana plans. Getting started on a new book. I’ve talked more to family and friends over the last five days than I have in a very long time. We’re all getting older. It never fails to shock. Venus square Uranus all summer long. Shocking beauty. Love surprises. And the money. It comes. It goes.
Leo Season: love yourself. Why not?
Venus retrograde: are you doing what you want to be doing? What do you want to be doing?
North Node in Aries: are you being brave? That is the current suggestion
Pluto square the Nodes: I always see aspects to the Nodes as a direction shift and Aries rules war so… I don’t know. Might a bomb go off? I hope not.
But on a personal level: Pluto square the Nodes is a personal message for us all: something is dying and something is.. worth living for but it’s *over there* and you have to dig for it (Pluto is retrograde) and you might have to dig in the trash heap, the dung mountain, the corpse pile, it’s so ugly what we need to sort through. I don’t envy us! And by ugly I mean THE TRUTH. Sometimes the truth is so… beyond words.
So let’s ask the Guides for advice.
They are showing me flowers. They are handing them to me, a fistful of flowers, pretty, inexpensive flowers. They will bloom for a short time but when they sing they really sing. Bright colors.
What is this? We need a reminder of our ephemerality? I think not. I’ll ask the Guides why they are showing me this image:
It’s an image of love (they say). That’s it. You succeeded. You won. In having love on you. You got it all over you, like a chocolate syrup stain. Enjoy it. Wear it. It’s good.
Last word on the North Node in Aries for now: some things really are worth fighting for. But what are they? Venus is retrograde cuddling up to the god of war.
And I hate the internet but I have to be here to promote my work and my writing and I’m so grateful for all the good stuff, the spiritual teachers and the literature and… so much. The capacity to be bothered. I think I get less bothered than I used to. But on the other hand, sometimes a good bother is exactly what we need (says the North Node in Aries!).
To be continued…