This is what I posted on my Instagram this morning about my upcoming Tarot class.:
I may just draw the Hanged Man over and over when I create my Tarot deck.
72 Hanged Man.
Already I’m starting to think visually. And I’m the kind of person who will say: I don’t think visually. But already it’s starting and in the middle of the night I had a thought and the thought had an image that I wanted to draw.
This is what my upcoming class is for. Bloodletting. Self expression. Creation.
And this is not so much a commercial but wanted to talk about my process and how making pictures is this other form of self expression that I’ve been alienated from for decades except for two versions of Tarot cards that I drew in 2015 which was a very bad year.
So I’m thinking there’s a missing piece here. So I’m thinking that maybe I found something. And I got up just now to draw what had been in my head overnight. My head cut off floating in the water, just above the waves.
There is a poem I love that begins: I know there is a worm in the human heart. I like to quote it every so often.
That too is my Hanged Man. Sometimes our lives are one card and one card only for years. And other times we shift between two or three. Sometimes maybe the whole deck. And maybe other times our lives go so blank we are that No-Thingness card from the Osho Zen Tarot. Black canvas. Pitch.
What I know is this: Life is a constant process of falling apart and coming together (or the illusion of it )and there are waves and drawing along with writing can take you deeper into the waves which is ultimately healing. Why? Because it makes you feel. Which is different than not feeling. Maybe someday your head won’t be bobbing on top of the water. At the very least, take a picture while it’s there.
So basically the class is to crack open your heart but I didn’t know that before.
I’ve been drawing a lot which means three drawings this morning after two (?) years of none. I’m one of those “I can’t draw” people.
My drawings are simple as you can see here! I don’t know if I’ll ever make a deck-deck. You know, have it printed, etc. In the meantime I like doing exactly what I’m doing and I like having IMAGES spring up in my head. It’s using a part of my brain (soul? body?) that’s been asleep for a very long time.
AND I’ve decided that my Tarot deck will have a Major Arcana but it won’t follow the Fool’s Journey. It won’t be Fool through World. And I don’t know where it’s going yet or how it will change, but I’ve begun and it’s a purgative. Here’s Woman in the Waves. Major Arcana card no. 2.
A couple weeks ago in my other class (the one that keeps getting extended, the one that’s gone on for months now) I drew cards about my stuckness and all these Cups came up, including the King of Cups, Mr Stuck himself. Has to master those emotions, right? Yeah but. Squashing and repressing and pushing away is NOT mastery.
Stuff is coming up now. Starting to. Through the waves. Taking an axe to the ice.
Uranus retrograde is a magical marvelous transit. Think I’m crazy? I may be. Uranus is crazy too. Uranus retrograde stops this damn hurtling from hurtling so much. We get a break from the tireless tiresome invention. Isabel Hickey (who I quote often) wrote: Saturn builds. Uranus breaks. Aquarius is ruled by both! And our Monday Eclipse is in Aquarius with Uranus retrograde! Something from long ago. Something from the deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep past is leaving your life. You won’t miss it. It’s an old deep tired pain. Retire it. Return it. Ground it. Give it away. It probably wasn’t yours to begin with. You borrowed it. Give it back. Hand it off. Let it go. Goodbye goodbye goodbye.
In other news, Jupiter squares Pluto tomorrow (exact) which I wrote about the other day and your Pluto is EXPANDING.
What is Pluto to you?
I’ll tell you what Pluto is to me although I speak as a First House Pluto person. Pluto is regeneration. Intensity and volcanic passion. It scares people. Depth. Intuition. All this is good Pluto. We don’t stop searching for meaning.
Jupiter in Libra squares Pluto tomorrow and yes bad Pluto (manipulation, coercion) can show up but good Pluto can also show up. Probably some of both will show up. You may feel overwhelmed at times if you aren’t used to this much Pluto, but there’s also much to enjoy about this aspect. Sex, for example.
As for me, I’ll be using my Moon Pluto conjunction to help clients find their way home and then it will be the weekend AND THEN THE ECLIPSE so rest up, my friends.