I identify so much with the life and death. With the life and death story, struggle. When I bleed each month (or every couple months, these days) it’s life and death that I relate to. In my own Jewish tradition, blood is life and we’re not permitted to eat it. I have a history of trauma and I’m comfortable (not afraid of) talking about yours (i.e. with clients) if it shows its face when we’re looking for answers or looking for… anything. That’s where I belong (I think to myself). Comfortable in hospitals and funerals and I love a good death goddess. Not that I go looking for it. People bring it to me. They offer it. And after a year of therapy, I hear it. I smell it. I hear it and smell it differently than I used to. Therapy made me a different kind of listener. Without even trying. It just happened. And sometimes I think to myself: how would he hear this. And it’s as though I am hearing through his ears. Subtle changes but not so subtle. The other day was talking with a client and my job was not to decode or analyze them (and I didn’t). My job was to answer their questions (did my best). But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t fully aware of what was happening and I understood so much in an instant. But it’s not my job.
Why am I talking about this? Well part of me is wondering about whether it might become my job in the future, if I live that long. I am of middle age and both my parents died young. I write in my new book (almost done??!!!) that I’ll probably outlive them but I don’t think I reach 70. I don’t think so. And as I type that now I think: maybe. Maybe? Maybe not. In either case, on Instagram I was posting a selfie and saying that even though we may not be able to get everything we want or wanted, what CAN we have? Review the possibilities still open. How do you want to spend your time? That’s what we have here. TIME.
It’s not Aries Season but we have Mars and Jupiter (and Chiron) in impolite Aries. I don’t mean “impolite” as an insult or a critique. But it’s the Aries women who will get dirty and I don’t mean sexual “dirty.” I mean, Aries is going to burp on camera. Aries goes deep into a sickening image. Aries is not going to fuck with you (toy with you). Aries is going to be brutally bodily, more earthy than the earth signs in a lot of ways. Aries has no pretense. Aries shows up. If you find an Aries who toys with you, it’s something else going on in the chart. By its nature, Mars (Aries’ ruling planet) is NOT manipulative.
Mercury is direct and I’m thinking about hope and I’m thinking about therapy and I’m thinking about psychoanalysis and I’m thinking about what makes me happy to think about and I want you to be happy too. I want you to… know what excites and delights you. I think that would be a good thing and I’m starting to notice what excites and delights me. Mars is the hunter. What are you hunting?
Mercury is direct: your thinking is more clear. Mars is in Aries with Jupiter: do you have a passion. What is it? What makes you excited to be alive. I’ll tell you one of mine. So I’m in the middle of doing some Patreon videos and I stumbled across this video while my own video was uploading and the professor in the video is… explaining a concept and I’m applying it to my life in a meaningful way and I’m having all these realizations and I’m thinking oh my god I’m so old and oh my god I might enter a situation of some formal education, me with my issues with authority and rules (oh boy!). But how do I want to spend my time? How do you want to spend your time? I’m only using myself as an example to be purposefully vulnerable. I hate it when I complain about being old and people older than me get offended. I’m allowed to feel old and to complain about it. Of course I’m old. My mother died just a couple years older than I am now. By that measure, I’ve one foot in the grave.
What do you RUN to? What do you run to do? That’s your Mars!
Mercury and Mars are in compatible signs these days (well, they will be, once Mercury leaves Taurus). It is good to pay attention to the sky. We just had a New Moon. We have a Full Moon on the way. There is a conclusion coming. You’re making your mind up. Let me know what you figure out!!!