So this evening I was talking to my books. Yes, talking to my books, and I don’t mean the books I’ve written: the Saturn book and the new one (which is out on Kindle but the print book got stuck on a slow boat from China, literally).
I was wiping off a shelf. I’m in the aftermath of a bug infestation. And it would have gotten worse worse worse full takeover if I hadn’t realized how bad it was and taken drastic action to save my home. And it was only a couple weeks ago when my therapist (a new feature in my life) asked me about hope and I wrote it down on a post-it. Hope? Confused-dog-face-tilt. Hope?
So I was wiping off this shelf with a paper towel (what I call dusting) because this shelf and the contents upon it had not been consumed by insects and I said to this one book: you were saved.
Over and over I’ve lost almost everything. That’s why I relate to you, my clients (and students) so well. You’ve also lost things, people, sanity. I looked at the book and I couldn’t believe it. You were saved. Somehow, YOU made it.
So much has changed since I started this blog (back in 2011 when blogs were king). People still find me here (and become clients) and they don’t always realize how long I’ve been around and that this, what you see here, is ME. These stories, these emotions, this flow. I do it on PURPOSE. I’m not accidentally intense. This blog is the product of a well-aspected First House Moon Pluto conjunction. Sometimes they think something is wrong.
And if you’ve been doing this work as long as I have you don’t look at the lunations with wonder. They come; they go. Sometimes they fuck you up (especially those murderous eclipses) and sometimes they don’t. But this one. This one has a sprinkle of hope in it, a sprinkle like a book that somehow got saved. I haven’t been out to look at it, the Full Moon. I usually don’t. But I might, I just might, and scream YOU OWE ME at the Full Moon. I dare you. You do it too. See you there.