It’s important to note that if you were abused in your childhood, that you are not those people who hurt you. I think the identification happens automatically. You may not even realize this – consciously. Although you may notice various themes throughout your life (and again a lot of this is unconscious programming) that you don’t have nice things or you don’t deserve nice things, like safety or love. Unspoken, unwritten internalized messages.
But you are not your caretakers who hurt you. This is something I tell myself too, that I am beginning to realize, in new ways because, see, the older you get, the more you SEE, understand, bear witness to what happened so long ago. I am not the same person I was in my mid-20s when I had So Much Therapy and then later on in my late 20s when I had So Much Therapy and I was that person – my mother said once – who would always need therapy, always need help. Poor Aliza with her depression and her anxiety. The part she left out was her hand in destroying me.
And this: we all need therapy. We all need help. We all need safety and love. You got someone implying that we don’t all need these things, or that you are special somehow because you need love? They are gaslighting you to hell and back.
Some of us live to write about it and some of us don’t. You want to dance on the graves of your enemies? I recommend you dance heartily. This is healing too, but I digress…
Brains formed by trauma, souls, young souls formed by trauma: we’re not like everyone else. Many of us do come into adulthood with special gifts and it’s not about whether it’s worth it or not. It’s about dismantling the internalized programming. This is necessary. Soul retrieval is necessary. And soul retrieval can come about in all kinds of ways and I promise you if you experience this – if you experience a soul healing – your behavior changes, your perspective changes. It’s a complete process.
These topics do not depress me to blog about. On the contrary, it’s liberating and it always was. But it’s on my mind, again, because I’m finishing up a hard transit – Pluto opposite Sun – and looking forward to Uranus entering Taurus next month and awareness of Chiron now in Aries who, for many of us, will catapult us towards an unimaginable mountain of healing.
I don’t think I ever knew an Aries who didn’t drive fast or didn’t want to drive fast. Don’t think I ever knew an Aries who didn’t like to push buttons or debate. Never knew an Aries who wouldn’t speak their mind and damn everyone else. Fearless Aries, fearless Chiron in Aries, has so much to share with you starting NOW. The trajectory of your healing, your life, is different now. It just is. Adjust for this. We’re going to have to adjust for this and I think it’s good news.
To be continued...