I was sitting here thinking about how I’d love to talk about my ten years plus experience as an astrologer, talking to people, all kinds of people, including very difficult people. And by difficult I mean, well, I mean lots of things.
But there are the ones who pay for readings and are hostile (to me) or the ones who or the ones who or the ones who, and I can’t say anymore because everything is in confidence, private, and any time I talked abstractly about someone in a blog post, for example, I got permission first. But I’ve spent all this time getting to know people and human nature. So how can I talk about this? Only in the most general of ways.
I said to someone recently: I’m not a therapist. I’m not a priest. I’m somewhere in between, but neither. And just now I was watching a YouTube video and it was pretty much a therapy session and I kept thinking: I would do this differently. I would make different choices. The psychologist seemed bizarrely harsh, almost ruthless at times, and I didn’t know what the point was. And the point was surely not its opposite, to not challenge or not engage. But this doctor? She felt like bad cop/good cop in one body. Sometimes I think about going back to school but mostly I just want to finish this book I’m working on and that my career of helping people will stay this weird category of psychic astrologer even though my clients know that I what I do is, possibly, category defying (and I’m not saying that’s a good thing necessarily).
The astrology? Mercury is Retrograde. We’re looking back, reflecting.
Is there something, or someone, you are re-examining?
That phrase “grist for the mill” is still on my mind. I mentioned it in the previous blog post as it was something my own therapist mentioned two sessions ago, and it was an intense session (for me) which inspired a lot of note taking afterwards and revelation and connection, and I can be washing the dishes and I’ll think OH. About my life I’ll think OH. And I’ll understand some ancient story in my past. Nothing is wasted is how I understand that idiom (even if it strays from the idiom’s origin). We can use it all. Hunters talk this way. They kill the beast and they eat it all. It’s like that. And pretty sure my therapist would press on that phrase “kill the beast” and ask me what I meant by that but y’all know my writing so you know I tend to the dramatic but here’s what I mean (at least a little):
Maybe, just maybe, there’s a violence to this process, to the process of excavating the past, with or without therapy. And how well you do (in therapy or with your own self-excavation) depends on how okay you are with this. Sometimes you’re digging with a teaspoon in the rubble of your life and other times it’s the Tower card from the Tarot, the lightening strike.
Yesterday on my Twitter I asked how their Mercury retrograde was going so far and so far people reported bad news with bad emoji. This blog post is dedicated to them. Hope you get to feeling to better.