I left the Shabbos table early, my usual place, a good friend.
One of her kids has a cold (not covid) but I was just sick and didn’t want to get sick again and who knows it’s out of my hands now, but I was there for a little bit, and it was beautiful, but then more people came and I thought okay gotta jet. Too many people, too much virus, and I’m an introvert anyway but it was all just too much by a certain point.
My friend always laughs when I leave because she knows me so well. At least now I say goodbye instead of just sneaking out. I say: going for a walk. I might be back and she knows I won’t, hugs me, and I’m off. Intimacy is knowing someone so well.
Happy at home now and thinking about something my friend brought up:
she says she feels like time has stopped and this reminded me of Venus going retrograde (tomorrow) and how you might feel the past more present than the present, you know? Even my blogging again is a blast from the past! She said she felt nothing has changed or not enough has changed after all these years (decades) of knowing each other.
I reminded her that now she had this beautiful family. She didn’t have it when we first met. And she’s always singing my praises to strangers (which embarrasses me), how Aliza has authored two books etc. And I thought to myself how we all measure time differently. People think I have nothing because I have no children, no husband. And that’s just one example. We all measure time differently and it’s better not to judge and maybe someone judged my friend (or she judged herself) that she never achieved some particular life or career goal. Meanwhile, she is this incredible human and mother and teacher and so much more. She is a light. She is absolutely a light.
So I hope you aren’t judging yourself overly harshly these days but definitely keep in mind that VENUS GOING RETROGRADE (shouting from the fire escape now) might take you down memory lane after memory lane and you will feel it and the ghosts might come back to chat. Old lovers, old friends, old discoveries, old ideas, old dreams. It’s all okay. The past can’t hurt you although it often feels like it can and does.
Venus retrograde is not a sad transit to me. It’s philosophical and also something we will experience, all of us in our own way. To quote Salman Rushdie: Memory is a way of telling you what’s important to you. So pay attention. Here it comes.
Talk to you soon