It’s hard to be so unpleasant.
This is what I think when I reflect upon today’s meeting with my analyst. But it’s about me. I’m the unpleasant one. And then I think: I don’t want this job. And then I think: keep going. Finish your studies and your training and get your license and then… chuck it. Some of us like the process. We don’t want to land; we just want to get there.
And yeah I’m over here still *blaming everything* on a New Moon eclipse that hasn’t happened yet and drinking my South African cabernet.
I’ll tell you why this week is so hard, though, eclipse vibes notwithstanding. It’s Venus. You might have felt your power of seduction under the Venus Pluto trine, but the Venus Saturn square threatens not only to erase it, but to call you on it, specifically the things you need to see that you don’t wanna see, how unpleasant you sometimes are, and by unpleasant I mean, well, Freud might call it the compulsion to repeat. But that’s only part of it, and it’s actually not your fault, but somehow. Somehow you got corrupted.
All the things you want that you don’t have: you know you get in your own way but can’t figure out how to move that mountain. That’s what the eclipses are for, the moving of mountains, and we have one next week. Until then? Tolerate this Venus Saturn square like your life depended upon it and it does depend upon it. Life lessons. Love lessons. Venus square Saturn is a blessing and it’s hard and it’s painful but it’s real and for that reason it is hopeful. Just go a little deeper and you’ll hit the sweet spot and stop crying.
Alrighty. To be continued…