Saturn Through The Fourth House: Roots. Pull Them Out.

"saturn through the fourth house"
I’ve been posting a lot about grief and trauma lately – intense emotions. This is from my Facebook page. It’s a bit dark I know but I have to post it for you. Consider this a postcard from my Saturn through the Fourth House transit…

Talking in the chat room about trauma.

That there may be some things you never get over.

And I was saying in there, it’s like we grow AROUND it.

We can’t get rid of it. We can’t cover it over. We can’t live in denial. Can’t make it go away. And this is different than healing the way we think of healing. It’s like a kind of co-existence. We grow around it. And I compared it to losing a limb. You have a stump instead of a hand or a foot or lower leg and your life grows around this “handicap” it doesn’t stop growing. You adapt even as you feel like a monster.

And I’m thinking about my own life – whether I am growing around my trauma or if I have in fact become the stump –

Not sure why all this is coming up, why all these memories, Mars and Venus through my 8th maybe – the Eclipse was in my 12th as the ladies were saying in the chat room.

I do know that – the older I get the more context I have for how damaged my childhood was. Shockingly so. I used the word “horrific” in a blog post today. As children we don’t know what normal is. Years pass, decades pass, we have dreams, life is busy and then – for some reason, a transit maybe, the clouds part.

Trauma Tarot. Those were the cards I was drawing this evening.

Oh. And the reason you can’t “get over” these things is because they FORMED you.
They are you. And that’s what you have to face each day, day in and day out.

REDEMPTION BLOG POST TO COME… but in the meantime you know what helps? Art. Write about it. Sing about it. Dance about it. Talk about it. Blog about it. Find your ART about it.