ASK ALIZA: 12th House Sun In Sexless Marriage. What to do?

"who is santa muerte"
They’ve been married for decades now.

Happy marriage.

The problem?
Sex. NO SEX.
He wants it. He wants it with her. She’s out of her blood years. He’s frustrated. He watches porn. Feels guilty.

His words:
SHE IS DEAD FROM THE WAIST DOWN. Her body hurts. She gives him pleasure (he says) but it’s not enough (he says). He wants a filthy lover (his words). I have his permission to write this blog post.

IMMEDIATELY my sacral chakra wonders if there is something she’s not saying.
I think there is. The cards tell us more. What she can’t articulate.

Not that I doubt her body’s responses, not at all.
I don’t doubt her pain or his frustration.

Can they watch porn together? Why not? Really. Why not?
And I am not a doctor but also feel THERE ARE WAYS. No, not to be 30 or 30 or 40 or 50 again but… I don’t believe all hope is lost for her “down there.”
But it has to be explored. Make self vulnerable. Explore. There are all kinds of ways to be filthy.
And there are other holes, my dear. 

What does she need to see ANY kind of improvement – for them both.

Is improvement possible:
Not yet. She’s not open. Four of Pentacles. Closed up shop. But this is not a permanent state although entrenched at this time, yes.

What does she need? 
Damn. To make it possible – for herself. Nine of Swords. She has to let her emotions out. Grieve. Storm. Scream. Instead of gently going into that good night. She must rage.


What does she need her husband/lover to do:
MAGICIAN. He’s got a magic wand. She needs you to use it. But the wand isn’t only the obvious.

Seduce her. In new ways. GET CLOSE TO HER in new ways. The ways of these years.  The burden yes is on you to work your magic and the burden is ALSO on her to not give up on her body despite how it’s changed.

The Magician has ALL the tools: Wand, Cup, Sword, Pentacle. Have to use them all. You’re smart. So crawl out of that 12th House, baby.

It can’t be as it was, no, but it can be something else, better, deeper, hotter than whatever you knew before. That’s what intimacy is!

Much love to you and yours