I wake up thinking, as always. But a bit slower this morning. May I be blunt? I’m menstruating.
Any coincidence that this is Day 5 of the 7-Day “Cleanse”? And although I don’t like that word “cleanse” because it reminds of a Comet commercial, it’s also the name of a Sarah Kane play, whose work I admire
The blood days (the 1st two days) are probably the only times during the month when I allow myself to slow down. I can never remember which hormone does what but at the onset of menstruation, my mood (usually) goes up and I want to stay in bed. Nice combination
It’s not a moping depressive energy but that I can sink into rest and relaxation much easier. Like butter Less fluttery anxiety. A dazed, relaxed pleasant feeling which is wonderful as long as I don’t have to leave the house.
I have Chiron in the 8th House in my natal. This placement can make intimacy tricky. Painful. Chiron is “the wounded healer” and many astrologers believe this place in the chart cannot be healed, that it always hurts. Easier to help others (than help yourself) wherever Chiron is in your chart.
Now, I wouldn’t call myself an 8th House person at all and perhaps that is why, because of Mr. Chiron there. More of a Pluto person with my 1st House Pluto, the house of the Self (no planets in Scorpio except Neptune which is “generational”) so taboo is not really my thing. Taboo is associated with the 8th. Interesting thing about keywords: you need to discover the ones that fit you. And even though the keywords for Pluto, the 8th House, and Pluto do overlap, there are some that cling to me and some that don’t.
And yet. With a Moon Pluto conjunction I feel deeply and you know what is the most taboo? Having FEELINGS at all. About the shit no one wants to have feelings about or talk about, such as anger or feelings of loss. Disappointment. Ambivalence.
Oh. Wait. That IS taboo!
I remember at my mother’s funeral, and yes I know everyone deals with shock and grief in different ways, but it was shocking to me, and yet not so shocking, that I was the only one FEELING IT in the moment. No delay.
Grief, especially when the death is unexpected, is a physical response. Like being thrown against a wall. A physical-psychological response.
And there I was in tears and there was… everyone else not.
Which planet do you associate with your creative process? I know I need to be inspired, Neptune, but overall I feel Pluto in the process itself, the dredging up from inside. Pluto also rules crisis.
And then there’s Saturn. Form. Boundaries. Saturn is the ruler of my 5th House.
Inspiration isn’t enough. You have to DO something with it. Organize it. Set limits around it. Otherwise it’s… a baby who never learns to walk or talk. It stays in the realm of the blob it doesn’t grow up, grow shape and form and selfhood, yes, the selfhood of the work of art.
Saturn is the secret.
Motherhood, creativity, birth, death: what’s your comfort level with these processes? I know you love this kind of question
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Also the Mini-Moons are back for the New Moon in Leo! Mini-Readings!