Fighting For Stability (Empress Reversed)

"moon trine mars" Life — it can feel so overwhelming at times that we wind up fighting for stability, which feels funny to say or write.

Can you fight for stability and win?  Or is there another way, a better way.

The phrase also reminds me of Saturn through the 4th House (a current transit of mine).

Both Saturn and the 4th house make me think “stable” but..
Wait.
No.
It’s not that Saturn is stable per se, it’s that Saturn pushes you to create stability. Shows you where you are weak. Which can be a painful process.

Let me back track a bit.

Life. It can feel so overwhelming. Sometimes all we want is to stand still and catch our breath. Take a break from hard transits. Take a break from challenges. No surprises. We want to know that no matter what life throws at us, we’ll be okay. We won’t fall apart, we won’t break down, we won’t die from heartbreak or worry or starvation.

That we find the railing. We don’t fall.

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I wrote that yesterday. Today I am thinking about TODAY.

I was Tweeting and Facebooking this, how today is extraordinary for walking THROUGH walls, pushing rocks up hills, breakthrough.

Sun Mercury in Aries, Moon in Capricorn, Mars and Venus in Taurus.

Venus moves on to Gemini tomorrow so this is special as well — REALLY PUSH (before Venus Gemini distracts us with other options) — and I posted a picture of Jillian Michaels whose exercise videos I love and who inspires me and who is a Cap Moon Taurus Mars!

My day is pretty mellow actually — I have a bit of a cold so I am ensconced here with my spiritual routines (things I do) and my books, hopefully to keep my mind-soul active while resting my body. I did see the Empress reversed and the Queen of Swords in my daily Tarot today. Empress rx shows a need for self-care. Queen of Swords is smart enough to realize this.

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I just asked this question in the chatroom: do you have a spiritual practice? Is it important to you? 

For me it is VERY important and I feel adrift when I don’t keep it down to a fine routine. It can’t be occasional, haphazard or wishful thinking. It can’t be lazy :) There may be some variation with it but I need a core ritual, same with my body-body. Regular schedule. Get results :)

Spiritual body + regular schedule = get results.

Question becomes: what results are you seeking?
And do you have a spiritual practice?
And do you want one?

I learned astrology from a Magician and at the time I only half understood what he had to teach. Now, years later, I am catching up.

But about fighting for stability: sounds like Mars (fight) in Taurus (solid), doesn’t it?

Even if you are in a different time zone from me and there is very little left of the day… do SOMETHING. Even if that something is a 5 minute meditation-visualizaiton of what you desire. And do not stop until you get to the FEELING. The feeling of already having that thing you want so much.

Questions, comments? 

xx

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Saturn Lessons From My Virgo Moon, May 26th, 2013

Saturn isn’t just the meanie teacher, the disciplinarian, the oppressor, the Lord of Time (old age wisdom) and Karma (reap what ye sow) who makes us eat our groats ;)

Saturn is also our WORK.

Remember that Saturn is the ruler of Capricorn. Saturn is your BUSINESS i.e. you best make your natal Saturn your business, whether or not there’s money in it. Although there could be!

This is on my mind because Saturn is FEAR and I have Saturn in Taurus. Fear of VENUS. Fear of… beauty, my own beauty, fear of letting the garden grow, fear of planting seeds, fear of rooting, fear of stability EVEN THOUGH I AM A CANCER SUN (and Mercury and Mars) and home is… everything.

But where Saturn is… is where we must go. I must become beautiful. I must not avoid beauty or attempts at beauty. No matter how hard it is for me or how silly I feel. I also must define it for myself. Saturn crystallizes. My vision of beauty may not be yours.

My 12th House (private) Venus in Leo (not private) squares my natal Saturn (shame). It doesn’t feel good. It hurts. I rather not even try. Even though I like to post pictures that I take, I don’t like to be seen. I’m THAT private. So when I post pictures on Facebook it’s not ego. It’s THERAPY. I don’t seek compliments. I seek catharsis.

Saturn in Taurus in the 9th House is also a very FIXED mood. The 9th is perspective. My astrology teacher used to say that I wasn’t just being practical but pessimistic. The 9th is Jupiter’s house. Saturn there is a damper but Saturn there can also PLAN. Plan beauty. Plan joy. Plan Jupiter :)

**

Flash forward to 2013, yesterday, and I put my own picture on a blog post and a gal on Facebook gave me a lovely compliment and wanted to know what my secret was! This is funny to me because this is EXACTLY what a Saturn (the teacher) in Taurus (of beauty) in the 9th House (publishing, disseminating information) should be doing!

1. Regular exercise (5-6 days a week with a day off, minimum 20 minutes, yes that small an amount because it’s quality and not quantity) and I don’t mean strolling in the park. I don’t mean pure cardio (so ’80s). I mean Jillian Michaels DVDS. I had never seen that reality show (where she’s a trainer). Had no clue who she was. It was fate that I found her while surfing the Amazon website one day. I tried some of her videos that were available on youtube and I was hooked. Interval training and what she calls “peripheral heart action,” when you switch between working the upper and lower body or work both at once, small muscles (like biceps) and bigger muscles (like your quads).

In either case, you must discover what works for you. It’s never one size fits all. A lot of her work-outs have some high impact moves (jogging in place, jumping) so if that’s too harsh for your knees, you can make adjustments. But she pushes me. She makes me laugh. And I come from a heavy family, a diabetes family, and it’s been a lifelong challenge to find what works. I’m definitely not perfect, I’m no hard body (yet? who knows!) but I’m enjoying the process and I love that I get to work all these different muscles. Also, each circuit only lasts for SECONDS (30 seconds I think) so you know it will END. If you are struggling through jumping jacks or push ups or the walking plank, you know you’ll be moving on to something else soon. So you can really push harder for those 30 seconds. And when you push like that, your body adjusts. And then your body changes.

I prefer working-out at home because I work-out harder and longer. The bathroom is right here :) as is the kitchen if my blood sugar drops. I don’t have to worry about how I look. I did just join a cheap gym though because I enjoy a walk/jog on a treadmill. It’s meditative.

If Jillian’s tapes are too easy for you, then you either already an awesome athlete or you aren’t working hard enough. Or your form is wrong. I know I need to master the form on anything for my abs. Small adjustments make a big difference.

And then yoga/deep stretching while the muscles are still warm is THE BEST. That’s where the healing happens.

2. Daily Apple Cider Vinegar: 2 tablespoons in a large mug of ginger tea (or any herbal tea that suits you). I add a small packet of agave for sweetness. I sip it throughout the day. Excellent for digestion (yes, poo therapy)  and I swear it’s making my hair healthier. I haven’t researched this though. But again it’s not one size fits all. There could be some go-to supplement that feels right for your body.

3. Regular doctor’s appointments: this is for the ladies. DO get regular exams. I had an infection (who knows for how long). Not yeast, not an STD. It was something else – bacterial. Now I’m taking a pro-biotic twice a day. Also, I am dealing with another health issue and I was so worried about it. I got one opinion. I got a second opinion. I did youtube research. I would not stop (and not stop worrying) until I was satisfied with the answers I was getting and had a plan of some kind.

4. I quit smoking. I was a light smoker (1 to 4 cigs a day) but it definitely makes a difference! I may smoke again someday. Not saying never.

5. Low sugar/low carb diet. My diet actually is in flux once again because high protein/low carb tends to help me with weight loss but my exercise was so intense and I’ve been feel averse to eating meat lately (and it’s constipating) so… I’m adding more vegetables and gluten-free grains (like quinoa). I do cheat on occasion but even when I “cheat” I try to do so based on a craving (chocolate for PMS). The less sugar I eat, the less I crave it. I can walk into Starbucks, for example, and NOT get a sweet treat. I’m there for my decaf double espresso with one splenda (yes I do splenda) and some half and half. That’s my treat.

I do get sugar from fruit (berries and citrus) and vegetables (I’m in a zucchini and yellow squash phase these days).

Food-wise I’m not sure where I’ll wind up. I’m not even an everything-in-moderation person. I avoid gluten. I do eat dairy. But I also eat Daiya cheese. I eat fish but so strange that I am losing my taste for other meat. Not sure what that’s about…

Anyway, to that reader, thank you for the compliment :)

Oh I forgot one thing

6. Love. I have a sweet person in my life. I don’t want to make any predictions :) but I am trying to be Venus about it all, receptive, open.

If you too want a sweet person in your life (not everyone does) then do something about it. I was on the phone with a client yesterday and I wanted her to give the universe a nudge. Just a wee nudge to get things rolling. With Chiron in her 7th and Saturn in her 8th… you astrology students know that is karma she cannot avoid. The challenge is built in but *not* insurmountable. But as Libra Rising (her, not me) I was trying to convince her :) to COOPERATE with universe. That that would be a wonderful way to BE Libra. 

I gave her homework that matched up with her Saturn transit. Know thyself, Client X! Saturn wants us to take responsibility. Easier said than done, I know. Saturn is in my 3rd House and I’m not getting all my writing done. Still, set the intention, put it out there.

7. One other thing: I have struggled most of my life with depression and anxiety and PTSD from childhood. Years ago, if I had found a medication whose side effects I could have tolerated, I would have stayed on one. I tried a few. But I cannot bear anything messing with my mind. And I am talking about CHRONIC depression and anxiety, life-long. But I am as all-natural as I can be. Mind training. Fear training. Because I had no other option. I didn’t drink or do drugs. Cigarettes were my drug. Depression was my drug. I’m an emotionally intense person so I was forced into… learning how to regulate it all, sometimes with help, sometimes without. Again, not perfect but exercise and meditation and talk therapy and ASTROLOGY and my spiritual life. I don’t take sedatives. I may take homeopathic stuff from Boiron, but mostly I sit with whatever arises. I learned in my 20s what a panic attack is, how mind and body work together to freak you out and how your breath and your thinking can CALM YOU DOWN.

Cancer tends to get better as they get older. I think this is true.

So that’s my own personal recipe for wellness. I’d love to hear about what keeps you well.

8. I can’t stop adding numbers to this list. MEANING. Living a meaningful life. This is still something I struggle with. It’s always in the background. At times I tune-in and at times I tune-it out. Any sensitive person also has this problem so you aren’t alone in this — but it is ESSENTIAL that you feel “driven” by something. Or more than one thing (for Gemini Season). Or why the hell are you here?

Yes, I’m that girl. The girl who searches for reasons to stay alive. See, in my Readings, I definitely do my best to predict when asked (sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m not, clients can weigh in if they want lol) but most of all I’m searching for meaning with you. I can’t help it. Saturn in the 9th House. Teaching (Saturn) meaning (9th House).

Whew. That was a lot. Happy Sunday!

Love, MP

P.S. Also, a good eyebrow wax and a little make-up go a long way :)

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Shame Is Extra: Taurus vs. Scorpio

Fitness gurus are my heroes these days, as much as my beloved spiritual teachers and then I realize that my fitness gurus ARE spiritual teachers too.

I was reading a Jillian Michaels book on the train:

“…it’s okay to struggle. So often we feel shame when we struggle, as though it makes us less in some way. Many people have thoughts like If I were stronger, this wouldn’t be a problem for me or if I were more disciplined, I wouldn’t get strung up like that. Utter crap. Struggle is a part of life. The key is what you do with your struggles…”

If you are a Leo, an Aquarius, a Scorpio, a Taurus (one of the fixed signs) being hammered by the planets in Taurus opposing Saturn in Scorpio, which is feeling like an all-out war for some folks, please please don’t add shame to the mix too. Shame is extra. You don’t need it. Return to sender!

I feel like springtime, Taurus Season, should be easier somehow. Remember though we’re in Eclipse Season which feels like 1. lockdown and 2. anything could happen. Destabilization. False starts. False endings. More intensity than clarity now, thus you must work on your balance. You can work from the outside to the inside. Even those of you getting the good stuff may feel uneasy or that your life is flashing before your eyes.

I know not everyone is exercise obsessed like me these days. I’m in my early 40s after radical change to heal my health and hmm I’m remembering a weight loss from my high school days… how I changed the outside first and then my insides changed. Usually, the wisdom is that it works the other way. Not for me.

It’s ironic. Taurus is supposed to be our solid ground but not this time around. So the question becomes how will you keep it real and righteous and keep passing the open windows…

Who are your heroes? 

Love, MP

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