Better to face the traumas so you can know the triggers intimately. INTIMATELY. INTIMATELY. INTIMATELY.
(Don’t you want trust? Intimacy? my old friend J. asked me the other night when we were talking about relationships. Of course I do. Goes without saying, doesn’t it? Maybe she was making sure.)
There is a right time for this of course. The trauma thing. You can’t do it all the time. Breaks are necessary. And you can’t do it when you’re not ready. But when you leave it alone for too long, it comes back.
I had an experience like this recently. That I still can’t talk about in detail although I will soon. I had a traumatic experience a few months ago and I had to put it aside. I did a number of visualizations to accomplish this. They worked. They worked too well. And I got sick, physically sick a couple months later. I shouldn’t say they worked too well. They worked perfectly. Some of us know how to put ourselves back together because we’ve had to, time and time again.
Once I realized what was happening, that the trauma was being “transferred” to my body (a friend helped me realize this), it started to get better.
I know what can damage a person. I know that survival can take a lifetime.
So I was talking to one of my Tarot people just now. Got some interesting, weird cards for her. They seemed like opposing cards. Part of my job is to make sense of it and bring it to her. Does this make sense?
It made sense to her. Knight of Wands. She IS going on a trip. But also Page of Pentacles. She said to me “I need to ground. I need to bury my feet in dirt” AND that IS the Tarot of the Hidden Realm Page of Pentacles! Crouch, I told her. Hide.
And then run like hell.