
(The following is the story of a Venus in Leo with a thorn in her paw and how a love nature can be twisted and the rocky road to straightening.)
I spent the year in love with someone.
And during times of difficulty, struggle, I sought counsel, wisdom, and I usually listened.
And then made up my own mind based on my nature or my compulsions. Moon Pluto conjunct in Virgo has an intense desire to fix, to make it right, to make the save.
I also thought he was worth it.
Worth any difficulty. But that’s Venus in the 12th House for ya. They always see what is possible. They see into the heart and soul of a person which… can be different than the current reality or how they act on a day-to-day basis. Venus 12 sees the soul level.
And when I sought counsel and wisdom, no one really said to me: stay, fight for this relationship. But I did. I loved as best I could. Learned patience as best I could. Learned to trust as best I could. Blamed myself for everything as best I could.
I have Venus square Saturn. I worked hard. I have Venus square Neptune. I got lost.
BUT…
When the person you love also tells you that you can do so much better, you… stop being lost.
Was I merely having a relationship with MYSELF? No. That’s not it. But I was putting a lot of energy into the thing. I’m a woman and stuff — we tend to do that.
😉
Venus is in Aquarius these days and Venus in Aquarius is known for… wanting some space around its heart. She’s in a wide sextile to Mercury in Sagittarius at the moment and these two signs know how to break away. But also how to lighten-up.
I feel the need to tell this story because it’s what I do. And perhaps others can relate. I don’t want any (((hugs))) or advice. And this story would be funny if it weren’t so sad. It shocked me though and Uranus (who rules our current Venus) is always shocking.
Uranus brings the revolution, the revolutionary, so I am going to take this Venus in Aquarius and have a revolution in my heart. Well, I guess I already did.
As Saturn transits my 2nd House, it’s not just my money, my earning that’s at stake. It’s ME. What do I value? Dare I value me? And not just the other?
Another story: I had an old friend of 20 years in from out of town the other night and how wonderful it was to see her and meet her new husband. We had fun being silly together, silly in the cold and I asked her why people stare at me all the time. It drives me fucking crazy. I do have some serious Venus in Leo hair and I do have Pluto in the 1st House and I can blame either one of these things sparking off me… but it feels like more–
My friend said to me: you don’t have a mask. That’s what it is. And it shocks people. Some are attracted and some are repelled (yeah that does sound like Pluto). Your eyes are clear, she said. Your face is clear.
Do you wear a mask in love? Or any other time?
xoxo
12 thoughts on “The Year In Love: My Venus 2011”
🙂 I also have Venus in Leo (squaring Pluto) and trining the Saturn…this has been a very bumpy, emotionaly intense year and it’s very, very, very hard to let go…
You have beautiful hair!
I get stared at, too, but I have an english accent.
Me. I’m wondering why my own sister can’t understand my feelings, and chooses a man over me every time. She never supported me in the past, when he was the one making trouble. She never once apologized to me for believing him and doubting me. I don’t know what I ever did to her to have her be this way.
well dayum, angela! of course she is! that’s NATURE. He’s got a d**k, not you! Whether he’s good or bad is besides the point –
May your new year be a beautiful soaring year with just enough challenges to make it worthwhile to be alive. Like Icarus we need a little earthing to stop the wax from melting.
That realisation of love misplaced, because it is misplaced when it is not appreciated nor wanted by other, aches and aches until the heart catches up to the mental resolve to stop. But it does catch up and it’s a wonderful feeling not to yearn any more for the unworthy of our devotion.
My two cents 😀
Thank you, jomad. May your new year please you, happy you, feed you 🙂 Only good things.
PS: I’m so excited to read your Venus in Leo “the thorny path to straightening”. Just reading the title made me relate and identify!
I get stared at too, Aliza, and it doesn’t drive me crazy but makes me ask “why”? I think it comes down to my level of “openness” that shows up my face. And my level of openness correlates to the level of optimism and hope I’m feeling at any particular time.
The more open and optimistic I feel, the more I get looked at.
I also look younger in those times!
Happy New Year, Aliza. Happy 2012 🙂
I’m tempted to say, “they stare just cuz yer purty, anita!!” 🙂
For me, it is both and more.
I have Venus Saturn too and this made me think. Instead of putting all that work into love, how about we start being wise about love? Gotta be old enough now, y’know?
Wish I felt Venus in Aqua the same way.
Ha, I get the same long stares, sometimes bewildered, and my friends have said the same about my face – it’s very open. Not to be confused with an open book 🙂
Saturn in 2nd, that’s an interesting one (I’m guessing)…
Happy New Year, Aliza! Wishing you happy resolutions!
To you too, H.! A happy one to you! It particularly bugs me on the subway. Feel like I’m on t.v. (ugh)