I’m told this is a common issue. The one I’m about to talk about. And I’m learning so much these days.
See, I got married a little more than a month ago and suddenly (or not so suddenly) I find myself without ambition.
That may sound stark, but hear me out. What concerns me now, primarily, is my husband, my marriage, his well-being (my well being), domestic life, but it’s more a FEELING than a behavior. After all, he’s the cook of the family. I am head putterer 🙂 I’M A CANCER SUN MERCURY MARS.
And what I’ve noticed in him is increased motivation to go out and support the family. Slay that mastodon. He’s got a lot going on: his personal blog, his Belief.net stuff, other projects in the works, other writing, doing Readings.
And here I am. Knitting. Darning socks. Warming milk. Taking care of the babies. WTF.
Okay okay okay we have three cats and no babies. But the cats were mine before, already here. And I can’t sew, much less knit and I don’t even know what “darning” is.
HAS YOURS TRULY MOONPLUTO BECOME A CANCER SUN AT LAST? After all these years of Virgo Rising-herself to death?
Which reminds me of the difference between the Rising sign and the Sun sign and something I read in Howard Sasportas and I think he was quoting Liz Greene: that the Rising is the way we GET to our Sun.
“The Ascendent flowers into our Sun. The Sun is the kind of hero we are. But the Ascendent is the QUEST on which we must embark. The Sun is why we are here. The Ascendent is how we get there.”
Everything is different now. I need different support groups. Single lady in the Big City no longer. And he is my Whole World. The way my mother was. I know that sounds strange. But when my mother died, my life got cut in two, before and after.
Now is not the time to slack — is what I hear in my head, whenever I experience Wife Anxiety. What happened to all your dreams, your goals, your plays, the poems, all of it!
And then the counter-voice: but I’ve spent YEARS (lifetimes) striving, making art, building, falling, building, falling, and now there’s this new role. And it’s REAL. And (gasp, sob, revelation!) I LIKE it.
Goodbye Old Me. Goodbye goodbye. I remember reading a letter of my mother’s, it was a diary entry, her talking about the peaceful early years of her marriage, when the children were small, playing with playdoh, making macaroni and cheese…
What phase are you in? Are you living your Sun?
Love, MP
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23 thoughts on ““The Sun Is Why We Are Here. The Ascendent Is How We Get There””
Hmmm… more like I overcompensated my Cancer stellium (partly due to progressions?) in college because I was like I’m sensitive I’m sensitive (Do I feel things? oh please let me actually feel things.) in middle school I laid on the weird Aquarius Rising and was having a transit of Uranus and Pluto to my sun, I was at my thinnest, but most jittery. I don’t feel either my sun or rising sometimes. But, usually when I meet someone they’re all like telling me I’m unique, brilliant, or weird, then I talk to them and make rapid fire repartee, then that tapers off and I have these emotional conversations and that’s when they almost stop telling me I’m unique and weird.
Such a great post and I love seeing the different perspectives. Asc. vs Sun is always hard for me to wrap my head around as mine are in the same sign.
Thank you, V.
I’ve actually been thinking about this recently and how the past year I’ve FINALLY (publicly) become my sun sign. I’m a Virgo ascendant, sadge sun, im 26 next week!
Emma, that is a great example. Virgo and Sag being so different!
they definitely are, i am unrecognisable as the person i was before – it’s quite crazy! 🙂
At least with my Scorpio Sun in the first house and the Ascendant in Scorpio it feels consistent. And I am glad something feels consistent
I know what you mean, Jomad. Mine are sextile. Supposedly they “go together” — ha!
This is interesting 🙂
I am a Taurus sun and I think I have the Taurean aspects down. Security conscious, brand aware, earthy, loyal, stubborn. But it’s the 9th house placement I seem to get stuck with. Big picture? Nope. Adventurous? Ya gotta be kidding. I’ve never been outside North America. Other than going to University for 4 years, I’ve not embraced a 9th house sun.
But I also don’t relate to my late decan Leo asc either. No one would ever mistake me for a jungle cat. Well, except for my hair. I have nice hair 🙂 But I’m not dramatic, I don’t radiate magnetism, I am not a kid at heart. I don’t do fun.
I don’t know. Now I’m confused 🙁
9th House also travels in the mind…
I can relate, though my astro is very different from yours (Gemini sun, Scorpio rising). They don’t always feel compatible to me, yet they (oddly) seem to support each other, for the most part.
I love your writing–both the “how” and the “what.” I imagine everybody takes away what they need to from your words. For me, tonight, the message is that courage isn’t the absence of fear. Thanks for the reminder. You rock. 🙂
I understand what you are talking about. I just want to be domestic a lot of the time since being married. My mother can’t seem to comprehend it at all. I just keep feeing like: hey my cooking is my artwork, my decorating is my artwork, hey yeah shelf liners, fabric on book cases, dried flowers in jars, pretty rocks, etc.
This is great! I love this post.
My sun is Aquarius – 5th house – and I always struggle with my Sun. This may be why I don’t get along with other Aquarians (particularly those born in January). Those parts of myself aren’t fully realized yet. I guess my Aquarian Sun/5th house would be about having fun and being creative in my own way, and not worrying about what other people think about how I like to enjoy myself. Right now, I spend a lot of time bemoaning my Libra Rising (my 1st house is empty) which I often view as being too accommodating, non-threatening and fearful of confrontation.
So I dislike being a Libra rising – but if being a Libra rising gets me closer to my Sun (where I’d much like to be!) then I have to learn how to navigate through what being a Libra rising means.
OTHER PEOPLE. Libra = other people. You need other people to become more you.
My cancer sun is in my 8th and I’m a Scorpio rising. I think I’m more my rising sign (especially now that Saturn’s in Scorpio. Plus my sun is intercepted in my 8th, so I never felt cancer -crab like
Best article you’ve written yet! Yes..I think I’m finally getting close to my unaspected Cancer sun in the 11th and cancerian mercury in the 12th. It has been a very slow and steady evolution. If I look at my life, I can see how it all unfolded. From learning how to build my values with NN/Saturn (2nd) from poverty to communication controversy and sibling rivalry with Pluto in the 3rd, crazy family dysfunction with Uranus in the 4th and living out my career dedication with Mars in the 10th, making babies (and being disillusioned!) with Neptune in the 5th and so on.
I’m just *now* approaching my Cancer sun and appreciating the domesticity of being a SAHM and wife and baking cakes and driving a minivan and learning to how live and enjoy the reflective solitude of my Mercury without condemnation that it doesn’t “fit” in with the hyper-extroversion peddled to us. Or maybe it is Jupiter transiting Cancer right now and sitting on top of it. I’m at peace.
Thank you for this! So glad to hear things are well for you! 🙂
I also have an 11th House Sun. So much “pressure” to achieve in this world. Sometimes just getting up and making coffee is achievement. Or finding love. Or making a decision.
I sort of am living my Aries Sun – I won’t be pushed around. Scorpio ascendant at least shares a ruler… I was hidden away, and sort of burst out of my shell, but it wasn’t in a good way – it was because I was scared. I really don’t know. I envy your peace, without begrudging you at all. 🙂 My sister ditched me for her husband – I’m nothing to her. My family was my world, so I understand what you said about your mother. Sixth house Sun – animals are my everything.
I don’t know…
when I was a child, I really identify myself with my sun sign, Leo. But as soon as I reached puberty I started to be more Virgo my rising sign. However now, I feel, i’m vibrating my DC energy, the Piscis energy. Also I was told that as I have my sun in the 12th house, I have a lot of Piscis energy, so yeah, I don’t know how to interpret it as if i’m vibrating my Leo sun with the 12th house (piscis) energy or if i’m integrating my descendent energy!.
Also i’m atractting lots of Scorpio and Capricorn people these days.
I ask, I pray,… I wonder. When is my turn? When is my turn to live my leo sun? See I’m a virgo rising, and my sun is at the last degree of my 11th, and no I don’t have issues with my father. Love my Dad!. I am so ready for something REAL, I do have a venus/Neptune square, but by God I’m 35 and I have my feet on the ground!
I’m very interested in your idea about your Asc, your Sun and your new role!
Not sure where I’m at in respect to it. My Asc is confusing to me, opposing its own ruler… I think I’m dealing with that by beginning to know and own my DC Venus.
This is interesting! I’ve just had a nap and woke up frightening myself with realisations.
I’ve become aware that it seems like we possibly keep meeting the same characters on our soul journey or whatever it is. I realised a month or two ago, I’ve continually met a middle aged drunkard man, over and over, usually imparting some wisdom, or the punchline to a life lesson just mastered. First my father, then my violent step-father, and frequently at bus stops, or in the street I meet them… I was just thinking if it is related to my Piscean Sun.
But yesterday, I think it was, it dawned on me, (I’ve recently encountered a new friend at work, whose Sun is in my 9th House and is effortlessly transforming my mind, and value systems) that there is a pattern of TWINS in my life. My mother is a twin, I had twin step brothers as a child, and Gemini rules my ninth, and I have had out of the blue strong, long friendships with Geminis. But why?
It’s nauseating to me to have this dawning and not know WHY it may happen. Does this happen to everyone?
Do other people meet personified versions of stuff related to their ninth house? or any house?
Or am I stringing together coincidences? I don’t think I am, but then what is it? Have you met your Sun or Asc?
I don’t know the answer, but it’s an interesting question, Verity. I do know I’ve had Sagittarius show up in my life… when I needed them the most.