I hate being in a body. I hate it. And I don’t think I’ll ever make peace with it. That’s today’s mood anyway 😉
And I know it’s not PC to say so. We’re suppose to luuuuuuuv our bodies, love ourselves, especially as women, find self acceptance and bash that self-hate on the head, do away with it, cut it off. I rather talk about the (my) truth. How it feels. Moon conjunct Pluto feels intense (Pluto) about the body (Moon).
The body: bumps and lumps and spots and needs. So many needs: feeding, elimination, movement, grooming, clothing, and then all the psychological needs to tend to, the existential needs: do you worry? do you have enough love? are you lonely? Is it meaningful? And don’t forget the security fears, the money issues, the making a living, the striving. I hate being in a body. Doctor’s appointments, lab tests, sickness.
Some 12th House people or excessively Pisces people feel not at home in the world. They long to return to the celestial spheres. They are half in this world and half in the next. I got a reading in 2000 before I knew anything about astrology and she told me that I “hadn’t come down all the way.”
I just don’t take joy in it. It feels like a bother. Constant upkeep, constant maintenance. Like housecleaning: it gets dirty again. You have to eat AGAIN. You have to shit AGAIN. You have to make love AGAIN. You have to love. Or else.
What is the cure for this? I have a 6th House North Node, which of course opposes the 12th House spiritual recluse. I have a Cancer Sun which needs to nurture self and other. I have a Virgo Moon which needs to create order and be free from worry (Pisces North Node). The cure is in the doing? The living? The cure is to go slowly, baby steps? The cure is to fight until the death? The cure is to ignore it? The cure is to write about it, unafraid.
Do you relate to your body? How do you relate? How do your Sun/Moon/Nodes relate?
As I reread this post before publishing, I think of times when I am more relaxed with my body’s needs. It’s when I’m doing some kind of exercise, besides just my usual getting about town. Stretching, yoga, something strenuous, whatever. Something that puts me in touch with the power of my body. See, I don’t identify with beauty at all. I don’t identify as an object for someone to admire. When I find some kind of solace it’s through strength. And it’s something I must do alone. You won’t find me in a class, sweating to the oldies with the group.
But the most important lesson of all? Patience. Patience with the body. Patience, not intensity.
And you? Your body? Your Moon?
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