I am back in care taking mode. I am back to thinking I can fix things (people too?) which is not always the best approach but I prefer it to feeling helpless.
This Venus Pluto square has knocked me on my ass and… OH.
Just realized. Just realized JUST NOW. No wonder. My Chiron is involved. My 8th House is involved. I have been up to my neck in sewer and as I write this I am taking a metaphorical shower, washing some of it off.
Transiting Venus in my 8th House conjunct my natal Chiron squared by transiting Pluto. Love hurts. Intimacy hurts. And that’s putting it sweetly and inaccurately. The sewer metaphor is better. What hurts is when you realize that *you* have acted like an ass. I have so much Virgo and long for perfection that when I realize I’ve behaved badly, I feel ashamed. Why aren’t I perfect yet?
It’s like a storm sometimes. That’s what emotional intensity is often compared to. Emotional Intensity as a THING, a syndrome. The storms come and you lash out instead of… anything else.
And with the 8th House involved there’s going to be a high degree of stink but you know what I’m doing today? I am trying love. Well, I don’t have to try. I do love. Trying to pick up the pieces with love. Will not cut self or anyone else.
Did you have a similar yesterday? Or a similar today so far?
I feel like you guys like this kind of writing, it’s the kind of writing (I think) that I started blogging with — honest about the ugly emotional stuff.
But listen — this blog post is not just about me. Take a look at your own chart. Where is transiting Venus? Where is transiting Pluto? Any natal planets involved in the square?
I’m in a Tarot mood today. Gonna draw another card. With the intention that this is an ADVICE card for me and for anyone feeling gross (Pluto) or ashamed (Pluto) under the Venus Pluto square.
Venus rules love. You know this. Venus rules pleasant smells and beauty pageants.
And Pluto? Pluto rules the anus, folks! Pluto rules tarpits and tapeworms and horror (to name just a few things).
Put these two in square and…
Smile?
😉
Yes, smile. Once again I must mention, the Moon is in Sagittarius. Let that be your light today. No matter how wobbly and lost you feel, there is light.
And this lovey happy Sagittarius Moon is trining the very same natal Chiron of mine getting whipped by Pluto. See? That’s how it works. The hurt and the help.
And this is ironic: I put up a Blue Velvet film still for Venus square Pluto and the Tarot card I pulled for today’s advice was the Knight of Swords and this is what I’m thinking: whatever got turned around or upside down yesterday (or today) by Venus square Pluto… don’t build on that. Detatch from the horror you found or the horror you made. Choose Venus (in Aries) over Pluto. Move fast (Aries) in the direction of love and with Mercury in Pisces? Speak (Mercury) from the soul (Pisces).
xo
12 thoughts on “The Agony And The Ecstasy Of Venus Pluto”
Also, just realized that my Venus return occured while this was happening… heh.
Oh, don’t you worry about being perfect. Neptune in Pisces is going to soften all that for you. Venus is also transiting my 8th (unless we’re talking whole sign houses), but natally my Venus is conjoined Pluto at 2 Virgo, so this is nothing new. I’m curious to see what this long Neptune transit opposite my Venus/Pluto will bring. (I also have Sun Virgo square Saturn in Sag, so I know from beating myself up over imperfections. Even perfectionism has its limits.) But Chiron, now, that’s a tough one. Unperfectable. Maybe just compassion – we are all wounded in one way or another.
I get it! I hate feeling stupid, and having screwed up.
Today is much better, maybe because I slept, the sun was out, my Amazon order arrived (it was waiting in the mailbox as I complained that my computer was too slow and couldn’t check on the package’s location), my pets are happy, I snuggled with my blind dog, drinking tea, and I’m living vicariously through the Gilmore Girls. I’m antsy, too – my mother told me I didn’t need caffeine, judging by how fast I was talking. I love days like this.
Oh dear .. why did you put that movie up, and now, of all times .. trying to zap the storm through ? But you can choose to bypass it to, the tarot advice you got is very sound in that respect .. 🙂
I REALLY DO appreciate your honest approach to putting you thoughts down .. it’s not the “dirty” edge what i digg really, how should i put it ? Yes, the edges maybe are, but the core of what you’re saying – isnt 😉 <3 Which remindes me of that one C.G.Jung quote "No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell." The easterns have a perfect metaphore for it in the symbol of the lotus flower, his root's swamp in the mudd, but it's head bath's in the heavens light .. else wouldnt eaven be possible ..
Yeah, shame, that's one ugly mug to face …. and it doesnt really show because,
we arent there in the "perfecto-land" jet,
but because,
we arent able to accept oureself already, for what we really are.
Well, sure, rationalizing never helps there one heck of a bit .. reasons arent what we need there, but that gut feeling, that everything is alright, despite it all, we have done, or others have done to us. We have to gain back that assurance, that time is our ally, and that we can put things back on tracks, once we get a hould of ourself and our "crazy bats". We are very, very tiny bits, in this chaos impregned tapestry of life, my Pluto rising sure can voucher for that …. No matter what we do individually, the world will not crumble 🙂
I do resonate with you strongly as i'm sure every strong water element person does .. swamping in our waters .. is that really what we wish for ourselves ?
I could turn the cards upside/down and say that ppl are in fact very 'mechanical' .. we have our mechanisms and patterns we adhere tightly to .. meaning, things do happen following a certain 'design' .. meaning, if you go modus "explosion" you first had to cover the "implosion" lap on the sinusoid .. the volcano doesent burst without being put under enormous preassure first .. you get what i mean ? Check on that for a mindframe reboot 😉
I do wonder how much in fact am i able to convey to you .. seem's we are straight opposites in some ways .. i am a Cap Mercury and have tons of Pisces on my part, hehe ~
Get rid of that ugly feeling pronto girl, better look at yourself, and then 4 the stars …. ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
XOXO ~
I do have mars in cancer: stuffs it until it can’t anymore. It was all very 8th House transit: seething resentments came to the surface BUT that is never the whole story – just a little piece of something much bigger–
thanks for ur thoughts
Oh dear .. i am a Mars in Pisces / Saturn on SN Scorp so i can level by a degree with that .. but where your cardinal water sticks to the challenge, mine has an option to leave .. and i do.
Choose wisely, cutting your own head off is not always the ‘right’ thing to do .. :/ (was just reading the prev entry, and contemplating on this one quote in particular …. ) ~
“What hurts is when you realize that *you* have acted like an ass.”
Oh, how I hate that. And I have been realizing this lately. And I have hardly any Virgo- just Ceres there- I have my Pisces sun and merc. in the 6th house, and I do feel that Virgo tug. (I’m sure Mars being in Virgo now is only magnifying this more). I definitely struggle with not being *perfect enough*, and I always see what’s out of place before I see what’s good. Trying to keep it in check, have been doing better the past few weeks. Why today just at lunch I was about to snap at my (Virgo rising) boyfriend, when I just… didn’t. And I’m glad. But can I keep it up? Meh. Will be happy for this exact square to be over, thankful it won’t be long… I’ve gotten migrainey headaches today and yesterday… I think that might have something to do with it. :
My Mercury and Ascendant are trapped in the square. Interesting that I’m just not talking today, and when I run into people I know or log into Facebook, I’m definitely not talking about myself today! I’m simply “sitting” with myself now.
sounds like the right thing to do!
I can relate to all that you have said…for the past two months I have been acting on emotions (the bad kinds) and have lashed out on almost everyone and everything that has caused me some kind of pain….last sat I actually wrote hand written letters to people and sent them love and appreciation….today I wrote someone an apology for some things that were said out of anger and pain and although it might not be accepted I know I have made my peace with my pain and my disappointments. I am only giving out love – now more lashing out, no more harsh words…. I am finally feeling back in control and back to my old self when it comes to being kind, understanding and generous…it feels like a wonderful lift from the shit I have caused or made worse through my own actions. It can only get better! 🙂
now that i’ve written my heavy duty blog post on this topic, let me share this wisdom: having feelings SUCKS
😉
Indeed they do!