There are times when you just… throw up your hands.
This figure of speech meaning: I don’t know. I don’t know the answer. I don’t know the meaning. I don’t know why. Who the hell am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Why am I alone? Why am I with him/her/them? How did I get so lucky? How did I get so unlucky?
And so on 😉
Your South Node tells you where you came from, what you already know.
Your North Node is the open door but… hard to walk through. You try to… walk around it. You try to get through the window. You try to knock on a different door of a different house. Somebody else’s North Node maybe.
And I thought to myself:
Self! you don’t need to understand it all RIGHT NOW and maybe just maybe the constant search for meaning and order is wrong, is South Node for you. That North Node is unfolding trust, North Node is motion, North Node is getting on the right bus and driving all night to the next town, no matter what.
My North Node is in the 6th House of daily routines. I need to live it every day. Get on that bus every day, even when the a/c doesn’t work. Even when the bus is late. Even when it smells like tacos. Even when the driver is cranky and the riders are farty and the babies are crying baby cries.
Once upon a time I was a poet and one of my poetry teachers had this great phrase and I forget whose phrase it is, maybe Keats: the irritable reaching after fact.
THAT, my friends, is the South Node. When you keep trying to concretize — or conquer — your life. And you forget that your life is wind or ocean or fire or soil, changeable matter.
There is someplace you’re supposed to get to. Call it a road to nowhere. Call it Petaluma. I don’t think it matters.
Here’s your homework assignment 🙂 Revisit your North Node: sign and house and especially the aspects because the aspects show the ease and also the challenge of being there.
And tell us what you find 🙂