Bad things happen. Scary things happen. Are these platitudes? Maybe. Maybe for Moon Pluto people. That’s what we are, right? Some of us 😉
This morning there was a crisis on the homefront for me and my mind immediately turned towards this summer’s eclipses which are… right around the corner. Gemini is my 10th and Sagittarius is my 4th. Cancer, my 11th.
And I thought to myself: I’m not up for any crap, God. Thanks anyway! But I did more than think. I prayed. And listen, I don’t even know if I believe in any one version of God that I’ve ever heard, but it doesn’t stop me from calling the f**k out, if I feel the need, when I feel the need. So there I was on the subway, eyes open, eyes closed, with iPod, without iPod, yes, like a good New Yorker, I prayed.
Got a band-aid on the crisis but a band-aid is, well, a band-aid. Flimsy, temporary, adhesive with holes in it. What I really want, what we ALL want (?) is a stable forever solution to every problem. As if such things exist. (Can they? Please?)
Eclipses guarantee change. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But.. maybe in three months. Maybe in six months. Doesn’t have to be bad, doesn’t have to be scary. But it may shock. And, as they say, things get revealed, come to light. Illumination, everyone!
So there I was, on the train, praying for stability foundation grounding strength for me and my household and my landlord and the house itself and the neighborhood. To seal us in all in some kind of… protective God bubble, some untouchable, unwarpable fence of… good. Peace. Luck. Perfection. Help.
The moral of the story? Find your steely insides, friends. Find your strength. Find your unbreakable-ness. The world may have only good in store for you BUT if you shore up now? You can help the ones who will need it.
Note to self: let me back to you
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8 thoughts on “My Personal Eclipse”
love this:)
“The E Word” – yeah. From what I remember, they were pretty good for me in 2003, and 1993, but over the past two/three years. Beyond awful. I don’t have concrete insides – I remember curling up on the floor in December 2009, before any potential death was even on the table, and I was already depressed, crying and thinking to myself, “I’m scared.” Something inside me said, “Don’t be” and I thought back, “That’s easy for *you* to say.” (If it was a guide… and not the precursor to my going crazy.)
Three deaths, a lost relationship after something finally coming to light (love really turned to hate there, on both sides), a sick cousin (cancer, but she’s ready to fight the regrowth). Self-esteem trampled – on these previous eclipses for this new axis, my self-esteem was on the mend, but I’m afraid to hope for that at the moment. (I’m such a wimp. I need to dig my Aries out of hiding.)
I hope your crisis will be averted. ♥
(((Angela)))
So far so good for me 🙂 Thanks
From the looks of things… crisis averted! Or… the prayers worked. Or both 🙂
I am going to work on a god bubble or two myself. Love this post. <3
Thanks, Lupa 🙂 I can share mine with you too xo
Good luck with your God bubble, MP. ♥
Thank you, Dixie 🙂
I am now going to refer to Eclipses as “The E Word.”