Sometimes I do everything wrong. On second though, that’s probably not true. Cancerians tend to have a guilt complex. Well, Cancer Sun square Chiron has a guilt complex. And the huge helping of Virgo doesn’t hurt either in terms of the interminable “not good enough.” And the Venus in the 12th square Neptune? You are sacrificed until you get off the cross.
Yeah, I’m talking about my chart. I need to write here, to blog a bit, before moving on to the next thing. To discharge, clear, my own shaky energy at the moment. And you never know… someone might relate, whether their chart features are similar or different.
The thing on my mind though is this: how do you help someone you love when they are hurting, without making it worse. I mean, let’s say the relationship is under strain anyway… it’s damn near impossible to keep those feelings OUT, while trying to help. Old resentments, things unsaid. So it all comes tumbling out at the worst moment. You were trying to help. And then you got angry. This is a VERY Virgo dilemma who wants to save and fix and it’s a VERY Leo dilemma who wants applause for the attempt.
But I need to be able to… be freely. Be myself, freely. Write here, on my blog, freely. Lately someone in my life has called me “dramatic,” more than once and for God’s sake I have Venus in LEO *and* I’m a fucking playwright. Fuck yeah I’m dramatic. The actors love it. If you don’t like it? See another show. I’m intense. And emotional. (Dramatic Pause) But I’m good. I’m really good. And I don’t mean a “good writer.” I mean, a good person. I’m talking basics. Not perfect. Basics.
Free will blah blah blah but our charts are WHO we are. And yes I looked at two different charts today, same rising sign, same transits and the people are completely different, different experiences. But still!
Glory in yourself, whatever it is. No matter how small you feel at times. Find some glory in your chart. Something. One small thing that is yours and yours alone because how YOU express it is unique. Love that thing. Nurture it. Find the ugliest, most irritating aspect in your chart and tell it that you love it, that you will never let it down, never let it go, that it is worth it, it has meaning. That the world is better because you are in it. And that’s no drama. That’s truth.
What is your truth? What is your ugliest aspect? Can you love it?
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6 thoughts on “How To Save A Life. Or Not.”
Wow. I have the very same dilemma. Except I’m not a writer 🙂 but I’ve got a cancer sun, some Virgo & boatloads of Pluto. It’s nice to have company 🙂
Welcome Jen!
My Moon square Neptune aspect surely fits the bill best for me. Your blog post has afforded me a moment tonight to stop and appreciate my all-too-often blind idealism and tendency to find the most complicated emotional entanglements …it has undoubtedly been the lifeblood of my passion for music and songwriting, which I now embrace as my chosen career path…and this very moment as I type this out, the Moon is exactly in the position of my natal Moon at 2 Pisces. You are a blessing. This feels profoundly beautiful…thank you.
Thanks Sammy. I’m glad you’re here 🙂
Neptune squares. Yep.
You know one of the things I’ve learned over the years is to bring imaginary duct tape with me. I’ll ask how can I help and then I’ll do it and then duct tape my mouth and wait for some point down the road before I say something. There ALWAYS comes a point down the road when it will be appropriate to say the THING. Having sun/pluto conjunct in my natal chart means for me that it will be intense ALL the time. Think magnifying glass, at noon, out on the sidewalk.
I have to say this : YOU ARE A GENIUS. Totally brilliant Cheleangel.
Sun Pluto meet Moon Pluto. Yes. intense all the time. Lovely metaphor too. Thanks!