It feels like another world. Last night I had a migraine complete with kaleidoscopic visual disturbance which lasted as long as it usually does, twenty minutes or so. Then came the dizziness and nausea and mild headache.
The following day (today) I was exhausted (with mild headache) and cancelled everything. I’ve only had, maybe, 4 or 5 of these in my life and the first time it happened I was terrified. I didn’t know what it was.
It’s almost 11pm now and I feel like myself again for the most part. I was going to stay in bed with the shades drawn but decided to go for a short walk. Thank god for those oversize plastic sunglasses. I read over an early chapter of new writing and glanced at another. My brain couldn’t work too hard. I was going to stay away from screens completely and I did until a couple hours ago. I had therapy in the morning, which I’m still thinking about, and I watched an old William Hurt movie in the evening, and right now I’m thinking about silence. I’m thinking about the silence I was in as a teenager, how there were years when I barely spoke, I was so withdrawn, and this carried over until my early 20s, when I was getting my MFA. I never said a word in class unless I had to (which wasn’t often). I wrote, but I didn’t speak. And how when I first started my astrology business, I only did email readings because I couldn’t imagine talking on the phone for that long. Things have changed. I still write but literally talk on the phone for a living. Long story for another time perhaps.
Now, this morning, me and the good doctor weren’t talking about silence, and what I want to share about today’s session isn’t the content of the conversation, but the idea that there should be someone, one person, at least, in your life, that you let in. Therapist or priest or wife/husband or best friend/sibling, etc. As open as it’s possible for me to be is where he is. I let him in my silence (or I try to).
This week we have a Full Moon in Virgo and I drew some interesting cards for my Patrons at the Coven tier, but I don’t want to repeat here what I told them so I’m gonna tell you something else: that every Full Moon can change your perspective. The Full Moon is the big light. You’re supposed to see what you didn’t see, couldn’t see, before. So, let that happen. Let the Full Moon penetrate your silence.
Another thing about this Full Moon: it opposes Jupiter and Neptune. This is some big big emotion. Limitless. Kind of scary maybe. You might want to run to the Virgo side of things, try to analyze it. And then run to the Pisces side and immerse yourself in spiritual waters. And some people might say to find the balance but I don’t know how balance can be found under such a sky. My advice?
I was gonna say just watch it. Watch the full moon do what it does, but then I pulled the Eight of Wands which is not a “just watch it” kind of card. Here I am writing about silence and this is one of the most un-silent cards there is. Dear star lovers, there will be words.