I don’t know what to do now about love. It feels like one big thing. That I went from the previous one to the no longer current one and I tell myself I am done with it. That others may love me, as I go forward through my life but I will not love anyone again. I’m inventing a word here: cannotwillnot.
Transiting Venus is sitting on my Mars now. The insatiability of the conjunction. And this same Venus will square Saturn in Libra in the coming days, IS squaring Saturn now. I feel it now. Saturn is reality. Saturn is TRUTH. Square Venus and it’s a hard truth about love.
And I know these are dark thoughts and will probably illicit an unfortunate small stream of comments but it’s my job to write what I feel. The Full Moon was conjunct my descendent which feels like a “burying the dead” transit to me. I have a Moon Pluto conjunction in Virgo and the dead “body” is the body of this love.
Maybe what I need to do, because I love a good ritual, is imagine its transformation. Not leave it in the cold hard ground but burn it, make a sacrifice. Honestly I don’t know the solution just that it feels black.
And the longer he and I go without speaking, the louder I hear God’s voice. What I mean is I hear the wind outside instead of my heart.
When you don’t understand why something happens, your job is not always to wrestle out the meaning, I mean, you’ll make yourself crazy. What you can do is say “Okay. This is happening.” And then listen.
Love, MP
9 thoughts on “End Game: Full Moon In My 7th House”
I’ve had a few bricks to the head/heart over the past year or so and what I’ve found is “love” isn’t the problem so much as what is driving that love. That urgency. Desire is our own, another person cannot and never will be no matter how much we want to change it. But we are seeing something in that person that reflects something we need to exist and be happy. It can exist within us to if we can learn how to see it. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone. For me, I thought he was the person who could make me feel free and reignite my desire since I had so much passion for him. It took a year (and a VERY rough breakup) to learn that no matter what is blocking my path, I am still free. He never gave me permission to want him, or permission to breathe and maybe while Im breathing I’ll still think about him but that’s ok. It’s ok because the wanting, not the having is where desire comes from. And freedom is allowing yourself to want things (and people) courageously.
Lol sorry that was long. I needed to get that out.
Oh I get what you are saying. And I agree
The silence can be so loud…
True….
I relate Moon Pluto. I am struggling with the same void and am driving myself nuts. I keep trying to just forget about it but everywhere I look, it’s in my face. I think I posted something about this on another blog. I feels like the Universe is taunting me. I WANT TO MOVE ON AND FORGET ABOUT IT. But my subconcious continues to pick up signs. It’s dead, and buried six feet under, but the signals are still being picked up by me. How to STOP THIS??? I have Moon Pluto conj. in Virgo too. Maybe it’s part of that…I don’t know. (((MP))). I like what you said about the Synastry post. Yes it IS healing for a client to try to get to the bottom, to process and be able to move on….
Thanks for your thoughts, Michele 🙂
This is the kind of post I don’t like to leave up for too long 😉 I’ll have to write more now so I can “cover it up” lol
I don’t think you really need to do anything…well, one thing: don’t stop believing…I nearly did this week, but god delivered a message to me (I’m not conventionally religious but I’ll use that name). Something happened which connected me back to the magic, the mystery, the things we can’t truly understand like a lightening bolt. Afterwards I looked up at the sky and said, ‘thank you…whenever I start to lose hope you deliver me’. Trust the universe Aliza, it WILL look after you. xoxo
🙂