My boyfriend’s Saturn Chiron conjunction conjuncts my descendent. And North Node. Yes, you heard me right. Anyone else would, perhaps, leave town. Leave the country. Jump in front of a speeding #7 train. But not me. I’m Venus Neptune girl. I’m Venus Saturn girl. I’m Venus Jupiter girl. Square, Square, and Sextile. My Venus is busy with the outer planets, the big story. The ecstasy and the agony. And the love.
And I will not give up until I find out the truth of Saturn Chiron on my descendent. Is it hot or cold? Hurting or healing? Blocking or sealing?
When we fight, when we come up against a misunderstanding, I feel all our synastry at once. I feel the Mars opposition, I feel the Cancer pile-up which is a mother’s love (Hello Freud), I feel the electric Venus Uranus trine, and I feel Saturn Chiron. And everything else that lives and breeds between the two charts.
But Saturn isn’t only a limitation and Chiron isn’t only a wound that can’t be healed. Saturn stabilizes. Saturn commits. Saturn is responsible. To what? On the 7th? To the other. And Chiron? Aw, fuck Chiron. I have Chiron in my 8th House so I do fuck Chiron but my point is that dealing with this man sometimes brings up my deepest bumpiest itchiest woundiest bloodiest insecurity. How? By him loving what I find so abhorrent. And sometimes you don’t realize how much self-hatred is there, has been there, until it is challenged, until someone else confronts your every no with a yes.
A Virgo Moon nightmare: you will never be perfect. A life bears the scars of a life, inside and outside.
But listen: Venus Pluto can go beyond control(ling). And Venus Neptune can go above masochism. And Venus Saturn can learn to love. And Venus Uranus can settle down 🙂 Really. There’s hope.
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4 thoughts on “Bad Venus And The Monster Within”
Hold the phone. What?! Venus+Uranus=Hope? Even the square?! No. No, MP. Can’t be. Venus doesn’t like volatility! She can’t. It’s messy and uncouth.
Obviously, this is a difficult thing for me to grasp. I’m guessing several (as in many decades over) long transits will do it.
Actually, this brings to mind..say, would you agree ’round 40 years old- or 48 if we go the Tibetan Buddhist route- that we’ve gone through a major chunk of the nasties? Men and women. Men really. The sure-footedness of thirties clears way for enlightened existing in your forties?
Basically MP, when do you feel/find that men get their sh– straight?! I know it’s all realtive but I’m really thinking there’s a period when everyone looks at the other then says, “Oh. Yeah. I WAS that person who dot-dot-dot.”
Yes, EW, even hope for Venus Uranus. Depends what you what. What do you want? If you want it, there’s hope. Truth is… we do need the transits, we do. Hard work alone won’t do it. Damn, that sounds so.. fateful, fated. I’ll work on something more promising 🙂
But seriously, hope for Venus Uranus: yes. It’s electric energy. Why not? But what do you want? The square fears the end result, the commitment. But it’s inside you.
My 30s were not sure-footed at all. I am hoping my 40s will have better feet 🙂 That is if I even understand the figure of speech.
Your question about men: hmm I don’t feel qualified to answer. Or, I can say. Some are born with it. Some get it later. Some never do. Sounds like you are talking about maturity. I should defer to my Taurus roommate for the answer to this question. 😉
All I know is this: learn by doing. Learn by listening to wisdom and then learn by doing. And don’t shoot yourself in the foot. And if you have a tendency to do this, then scrutinize your behavior so you can get sane. And then, god willing, the stars will align and you’ll find someone to be sane with.
Hope this makes sense.
I would think that Saturn conjunct the descendant would be positive, too. 🙂 I have saturn in the 5th, in my SR this year – I didn’t like it in the 8th, but I’m hoping that with that in the 5th and Pluto in the 8th, maybe I’ll get something good and shaking things up in a good way, for a change – both stability and something more. Hopefully. If anything happens at all. It seems like last year, I had the chance, but someone’s attitude was wildly different from my own (it hadn’t been in the past), and just… I don’t know.
I know you’re talking about synastry, and not solar returns, but you just reminded me of that. I hope pluto doesn’t have anything else to dish out, that’s nasty – and I’m wishing that I’d utilized Pluto’s more positive transits in the past, in a better way.I think certain things would be easier now, if I had.
Synastry – I seem to like someone’s Jupiter and Venus in my 4th/5th, and earthy moons, along with some Uranus action (so to speak). Saturn, too – although I keep thinking that I’ve found a good mix, only for them to get too uranian on me.
Well, there’s always another transit coming along, even if only the moon 🙂 I hope Pluto leaves you alone too!