The year my mother died, Pluto had just entered my 4th House.
And Pluto is now at the beginning of my 5th House. The retrograde will bring it back to the 4th House cusp. This is how astrology works. This is how *I* work i.e. reminding myself it is, truly, the end of a cycle, a 15 year cycle.
I was asking the folks on the message board if they feel done because sometimes I would feel done, which really meant that I felt too tired to dream and/or strive again. And I think of the last 15 years and what I wish I had been doing instead of surviving and struggling and it takes EFFORT to remind myself that, yes, everything IS different now.
Also, there is more than one cycle. We are in cycles with all the outer planets. And I’m not even thinking of the sign change, but the house change.
So everything is different now and I’m thinking of a client that I was working with this morning. She’s under a Pluto transit and good things are happening in her life but she can’t feel it yet, can’t sink into it. Pluto on her Sun. Saturn on her Pluto. She’s changing from the inside out. She’s pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and… her Saturn Return is not even for a few years. But she *is* together.
Understand, I did this research on purpose, looked for that chart to see if my mother’s death did coincide with the beginning of that transit. It is done now, Little Moon. It is DONE.
Pluto can retrograde all he wants back back back back to the edge of my 4th and maybe I’ll move (again), but it’s still done.
I’m writing a lot about Pluto through my 5th House these days because I’ve started writing poems again, starting reading poems again, starting allowing poems back in my life again. And that was my dream. After graduate school. The straight line I craved. Publish poems. Publish a book. Teach. Secure a life.
Ha, said life.
I remember once time my astrology teacher (in a reading) suggested that… perhaps I had to wait. Live more, write more, before the good — no — the better poems would come. And, believe me, I was praised, beloved. And without guidance. And thoroughly confused at age 25, MFA in hand, no skills, no emotional skills. Which is why I’m continually impressed by my young clients. Many of them are so centered.
So again I want to engage you on this level – what cycle are you entering. What cycle are you leaving? Can you track it? Was there a death? Yours? Someone else’s? Is it possible, is it truly possible, that cycles end and we do live and begin again, we pick up where we left off 15 years later, the same but very very different, after EVERYTHING, and happy, happier, finally.
Are you done? Do you have more to do?
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