I miss the desert.
And yet I liked the way my skin was suddenly softer when I came home 🙂 And less red. We’d been chain-smoking indoors. I finally unpacked my suitcase this morning. Even clothes I didn’t wear smelled like smoke. I do not know where I belong.
I was trying to make a Moon in Aquarius understand FEELINGS, Cancerian feelings. Because my friend seemed to not “get it” when I would… feel. And he would relentlessly ask questions. How do you explain to an alien, to an Aquarian Moon that these tears come out like rain or piss. It flows 🙂 Nature.
On the other hand, as he told me later, it was also that he saw himself in me. The emotional intensity, depth of feeling. That we were the same. And he didn’t like it. He had tried to be free of it.
This “vacation” made me stronger. I say that it refined me. But also showed me how withdrawn I still am. I walked into someone else’s life, family, where calling someone “a pain in the ass” is the same as saying “I love you.”
The question becomes how to keep it going in the coming days. To take what I learned and not forget. To stay strong. Know the feeling? You go through something life changing and then you go home and you fear (I fear) that I’ll just fall asleep again. That terrifies me more than anything.
The birds are always singing outside my window here, even in winter. Now that the seasons are changing, they sing more, sing louder. They have so much to say.
Yesterday I was talking to another astrologer who was trying to convince me that Chiron not only feels wounded but also wounds. I disagree. I don’t see Chiron as all that active, except possibly towards healing. I don’t see him as hurtful. He was a healer. He was in pain and a healer. He’s not Pluto or Saturn. He doesn’t go around armed, looking for trouble. He goes around… hiding, protecting. Not wounding.
Many of us Virgo Risings are in Chironland these days, which will become these YEARS. Chiron is on my descendent, my 7th House cusp. It’s now or never, I am fond of saying. I will get this relationship thing (7th House) right or not at all.
Now of course it depends on the degree of your Virgo Rising but if Chiron is anywhere near your 7th House, pay attention. Think about it. What it could mean. How are your relationships changing? Are you healing? Are you hurting? Are you wounding?
Before I left on my trip I examined the transits and my experiences definitely matched up. It was an intensely 8th House (probing, taboo, intense, discussion/experience of uncomfortable topics for both of us) experience. Compounding this was my friend’s natal Mars opposing my natal Chiron.
When we are together, we will *always* go there. We will always go to Chiron. His Mars will always push me there. Makes me wonder though what affect I have on him. His Mars (and Uranus) also opposes his Chiron so we’re talking double Chiron 😉
I asked him what he wanted. To feel at peace, he said.
How do you feel when you come back from vacation?
Got questions about Aries Season?