In love, you make yourself vulnerable. True? Open yourself up. Show yourself? Nakedness is not about the body, never about the body. It’s about what’s under the surface, inside, but how does one get past the surface of the body with all this schmutz in the way?
By schmutz I mean… stubbornness, ego, being willful, insecurity, fear. Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear of what you have. Fear of what you could lose. Fear of love, fear of not loving enough. Fear of… if I change, will everything be okay? And, if I don’t change?
And what if your fear no longer suits you, but you have a ton of it. Like clothes that don’t fit. This is Venus square Saturn getting older.
Last night I had a fight with the Boyfriend. Well, not exactly a fight. Something upset me. I stormed off. So I consulted with Lupa, my friend and Tarot Reader. What she gave me helped me. I mean, the Boyfriend and I didn’t talk about it yet but… it doesn’t feel like such an ache anymore, an ache which kept me awake last night.
Moon Pluto people do get stormy. I was all prepared to lecture him. Something like: “I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with.” Said in a snooty voice. But part of growing older is storming less. Same with Venus square Saturn. Fearing less. Insecuring less. Loving more. None of this is easy, and I think I say the same thing over and over, that love (Venus) is worth the work (Saturn). I want to quote this line from the movie Reds, one of my favorite movies, about the things that are worth dying for. Like love. Is love one of them? And do we have to die? Some small part of us does. The part that clings to the old ways that don’t work, that don’t fit.
Saturn is still in Libra blah blah blah. Define (Saturn) what you love, who you love, how you love. Who’s your Venus, baby? 😉
Note to self: watch Reds again
Follow me and me and me! (saith Venus in Leo 😉