“All is well, all is well. Everything is working out for my highest good and out of this experience only good will come. And I am safe.”
A little mountain a little mountain a little mountain big mountain.
I was trying to explain to my therapist what I was feeling through an image.
That we climb the small mountains:
that’s us being functional adults.
Work, paying taxes, going to the dentist, maintaining a social life.
Whatever your “normal” is. Climbing all those small ones.
But then you get triggered. Life isn’t as smooth as you thought. There’s something you want and you don’t know how to get it. Or you’re scared to death.
And that’s when you see it, become aware of it. There. Over there. Big mountain. Dark dark. Heavy.
(What you are doing is giving your pain, giving your chaos, some structure. Big Mountain is what hasn’t been healed. Big Mountain is what prevents it maybe.)
Because you think you got this. You got life handled. But then something or someone brings you to your knees.
Your relationship fails. You’re broke. Sick. Empty.
Little mountain little mountain little mountain BIG MOUNTAIN.
And then finally the realization that you are NOT being asked to wall-off the fears but to bring them with you.
8th House transits. That’s the hub of the Grand Cross and Eclipse for me.
Jeanne Avery said this house was about “getting our needs met” — needs from infancy so when the adult 8th House needs are not met (for sex, depth) we rage like infants.
What I feel most about the Eclipse energy is this:
a feeling of coming apart in slow motion like a bomb going off
The slow moving hard transits break us and we can’t stop them
I learned a long time ago from Pluto that what we hold most dear gets taken away.
Now this may not have been your lesson.
But as Moon Pluto person I get this lesson over and over. Loss of family, mother, home.
But I also gain. I get born again.
Thing is right now we are in the process of dying.