So I’ve been talking about my Saturn transit and feeling way down, low down, and then today there was a shift. I was lifted out of it, like God’s two hands came to pull me out. And I was talking to my mentor (writing mentor/friend) about love. Complaining about love. How I devote myself too much. Like diarrhea of the heart: Moon Pluto in the 1st House shooting its energy over to the Pisces 7th House: the MERGING, the unbearable heaviness of merging. And he said: devote yourself to the writing. Release. Relief. Well, he didn’t say “Release. Relief” but that’s what is needed. The energy needs to go somewhere or I turn it on 1) myself 2)the guy. Simple, right?
As Pluto nears the end of my 4th, I wonder about Pluto through my 5th and that it may be my final Pluto transit. Ever. Pluto through the 5th: obsessive love, obsessive creating. Obsessive play? Pregnancy? Death by 5th House things! Depth by 5th House things.
I can’t deny that a certain amount of compulsion feels good. Hard to explain. But I’ll try. Today on the train a song came on my Ipod, a song I used to only listen to at home, when I was writing, because I didn’t want to associate this song with work/travelling/the train. But lately I’ve let it go and now listen to it and it puts me in THAT MOOD, headspace, depths of… oh there must be a German word for this mood! It makes me feel and it makes me want to make stuff. And I listened to it. Over and over and over. Because I wanted to stay right there with it, with that feeling: again again again again.
Even though it does exhaust me, and probably exhausts those closest to me (at times 🙂 I wouldn’t trade my MoonPlutoness, a depth of feeling which could power all the 5 boroughs. Well, maybe I’d trade it for a grand trine in earth or fire, but otherwise no 😉
What would you keep? What would you trade?
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