(The following is the story of a Venus in Leo with a thorn in her paw and how a love nature can be twisted and the rocky road to straightening.)
I spent the year in love with someone.
And during times of difficulty, struggle, I sought counsel, wisdom, and I usually listened.
And then made up my own mind based on my nature or my compulsions. Moon Pluto conjunct in Virgo has an intense desire to fix, to make it right, to make the save.
I also thought he was worth it.
Worth any difficulty. But that’s Venus in the 12th House for ya. They always see what is possible. They see into the heart and soul of a person which… can be different than the current reality or how they act on a day-to-day basis. Venus 12 sees the soul level.
And when I sought counsel and wisdom, no one really said to me: stay, fight for this relationship. But I did. I loved as best I could. Learned patience as best I could. Learned to trust as best I could. Blamed myself for everything as best I could.
I have Venus square Saturn. I worked hard. I have Venus square Neptune. I got lost.
When the person you love also tells you that you can do so much better, you… stop being lost.
Was I merely having a relationship with MYSELF? No. That’s not it. But I was putting a lot of energy into the thing. I’m a woman and stuff — we tend to do that.
Venus is in Aquarius these days and Venus in Aquarius is known for… wanting some space around its heart. She’s in a wide sextile to Mercury in Sagittarius at the moment and these two signs know how to break away. But also how to lighten-up.
I feel the need to tell this story because it’s what I do. And perhaps others can relate. I don’t want any (((hugs))) or advice. And this story would be funny if it weren’t so sad. It shocked me though and Uranus (who rules our current Venus) is always shocking.
Uranus brings the revolution, the revolutionary, so I am going to take this Venus in Aquarius and have a revolution in my heart. Well, I guess I already did.
As Saturn transits my 2nd House, it’s not just my money, my earning that’s at stake. It’s ME. What do I value? Dare I value me? And not just the other?
Another story: I had an old friend of 20 years in from out of town the other night and how wonderful it was to see her and meet her new husband. We had fun being silly together, silly in the cold and I asked her why people stare at me all the time. It drives me fucking crazy. I do have some serious Venus in Leo hair and I do have Pluto in the 1st House and I can blame either one of these things sparking off me… but it feels like more–
My friend said to me: you don’t have a mask. That’s what it is. And it shocks people. Some are attracted and some are repelled (yeah that does sound like Pluto). Your eyes are clear, she said. Your face is clear.
Do you wear a mask in love? Or any other time?