Thanks everyone — you’ve been leaving wonderful thoughtful comments on the blog and I am grateful.
Wanted to mention that I’m under the weather at the moment so am slow to respond, but I will once I’m back up and at it! Tomorrow hopefully.
Walking geriatric dogs in the freezing weather yesterday definitely did me in. But I shall prevail! (Well, I shall prevail tomorrow, God willing.)
In the meantime, yesterday I had written a little blog post while I was on the road so read on…
The Triggering Town is the name of a book by American poet Richard Hugo and I read it as an undergrad. It’s not a book of poems though; it’s prose and from what I recall, about the process of making a poem. And how the poem’s trigger may be different from what results.
(Hell, it’s been a while. I should find it on ebay.)
What made me think of this? That word trigger and how we get triggered, how current pain or loss or grief or ache triggers the past and if we can only get a handle (god, there’s got to be a better word) on the past, give credit where credit is due… then we won’t hurt so much in the present.
For example, let’s say your relationship is breaking up. You are being left. Or maybe you are doing the leaving. In either case, the pain is enormous. Well maybe, just maybe, and I am kinda Freudian, but maybe, and likely, much of your present pain is connected to what came before — and if you can trace it back and acknowledge it, find the source(s), you gain perspective, and then the current bad guy (or bad girl) loses some of their power over you.
This is classic psychoanalysis. It’s not news even though Full Moons bring us news and the Full Moon in Cancer is this weekend.
But try it. Really. Try it. The next time you feel like shit, think to yourself: what does this remind me of? Trace it back. Do I sound like your friendly neighborhood therapist? Well, there’s a reason for that. I’ve had a lot of therapy over the years! (Not for a while though…)
I promise, this kind of thinking will likely lead you somewhere and hopefully to feeling more empowered and take the sting out of the present and make you a little bit more… sane.
I’m really into the sanity thing these days.
Cuz it’s not like these wounds that hurt so much come out of NOWHERE. They are linked back back back.
And because sometimes, sometimes, the hurt we are feeling now over him, over her, isn’t about him, or her, at all. Realize this and you won’t feel so humiliated or ashamed or stupid. Sure, you’ve got patterns to work through but… don’t give your power away so easily. He’s just a dumb guy 😉 (or girl)
And their leaving you or being mean to you or whatever triggers that old pain which surfaces and screams: DEAL WITH ME.
Which you can then choose to do. Or not. Just be… aware.
So that’s the Triggering Town. Go there. Visit the place. It may look the same as you remember. It may look different. But go there now. As a tourist. You won’t be moving in. Don’t worry about that. You’re not a child anymore. But you can look through the window or walk in the door or… if that’s too scary, you can just find the town on the map and say, “No thanks.”
And then pack your bags for good.
But remember, it’s a process. And while Mars is in Virgo we have the energy for this! Even MORE when Mars go retrograde will we have this energy for deep inner processing, work.
And this: revisit your 4th House for some clues on 1) where you come from and what hurt you 2) how to (re)build the life you want
PS And if you are waiting on me to finish a reading or schedule one, I do hope to be feeling better tomorrow. Friday for sure. Fingers crossed.