The traumatized child does not know what is okay or not okay — despite the experience of pain.
In the case of parental abuse or neglect, the TRUTH is, pretty much, unbearable. I mean, how does a child process and admit to her/himself that the caretaker is failing, is failing the child. To whom then does she/he have for protection?
And this feeling may persist into adulthood — is what is happening okay? Is what is happening not okay? Self-doubt. Such a grown-up seeks validation: am I crazy to feel the way I feel? This isn’t okay, is it? Searching for SOMEONE to tell them that, “No no dear. It’s not okay. It wasn’t okay then and it isn’t okay now.” But the truth is: you don’t need anyone’s help to decide this. If it doesn’t feel okay for you, that’s plenty, more than enough.
We were talking in the chat room about First House Moons and the need to become one’s own mother. Not to put it on anyone else. And, really, to save one’s own life. I forget all the different examples now — but I think we have a Moon Neptune, a Moon Uranus, a Moon Pluto. All these different fusions. A First House Moon does not necessarily equal trauma but combined I’d say we have our fair share.
And when the Moon is in her home sign of Cancer, I tend to go down memory lane (Cancer rules memory) and I tend to get stuck there (Cancers tend to cling) thus this post.
But here’s a good memory: on Saturday mornings, at synagogue, I would sit on my mother’s lap. She would read to me, whispering from the Chumash (the Bible), usually the story of creation, and twirl a strand of hair behind my ear until I dozed off.
Does your Moon tell your story?