I remember thinking this.
Possibly at different sharp points in my life, that BECAUSE of the traumas I survived, that the rules just didn’t apply to me. Whatever rules applied to the Normal People. Life had been blown WIDE OPEN. There was a rip in the fabric. Not sure this makes sense but I thought of it this morning. Remembered it, remembered thinking it. Wish I could describe it better…
There is only so much a young mind can take in, understand, make sense of. There is a limit. And then we grow up and we look back. Maybe we’re in pieces. Maybe we’re not. But if you’re sitting there reading this, there is hope for you.
Not that I now had no morals (picking up where I left off in my story) but actually the opposite. And partly because I’d been dealt this STRICT hand… that now I was… not blessed. That’s not the word. But that the rules just did not apply.
I am LIVING Scorpio Season this time like never before.
Digging and truth seeking because… the past is a ticking time bomb until the fibers are EXPOSED. And it’s a PROCESS.
Keep asking questions until the answers make you cry. Then you KNOW you’ve gotten somewhere. You should FEEL those aha moments. Intellectual understanding is just one level. Even “oh so this is what happened” is a surface level. You have to GO BACK THERE (yes, there, exactly where you don’t want to go and put your key in the lock) and FEEL it. Who you were before. Who you were during. Who you were after. Who you are now. I’m talking about traumatic experience, yes. And this is only my opinion. There is a time and place for all kinds of exploration. I am not telling you that your way is wrong. When I was younger (in my 20s) there was only so much of this exploration I could take. I’d dissociate, get lost in myself. But years pass, the brain changes. The process changes. I don’t get lost like I used to. I STAY me. I go IN and I come OUT. I can look that moment (that year, those years) in the face. Feeling is NOT a weakness. Feeling is your strength. It’s what keeps YOU connected to you.
I hope you, too, are digging, making your own discoveries, with or without a guide. That’s what Scorpio Season is for. Harvest it. Mars is in Virgo. The discoveries that you make now, well, I just don’t think this chance will come again. NOT LIKE THIS.
New Moon in Scorpio/Solar Eclipse, Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio, Sun in Scorpio, North Node and Saturn in Scorpio.
No one gets out of here alive 🙂
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