The Right Way To Drown: Neptune Retrograde + The Hanged Man

"neptune retrograde" The Hanged Man comes before Death in the Major Arcana.

All evening I’ve been looking up meanings for the Hanged Man since this card was drawn for me in response to my question: why am I here? (Yes, typical Tuesday night for me.)

But what does it mean that Death follows the Hanged Man? On a literal level, this makes sense. You get hanged and then you die. But this is Tarot-land. He’s hanging by his foot. And there’s more. There is always more.

I’m reading through my books and I’m getting the Heavy, which is how many (most?) Tarot books (in my occult library anyway) treat the Major cards and I’m fine with that. It’s how I learned. I’m a spiritual person. I can bring Majors down to earth when the need arises but I believe we must not equalize. There is a hierarchy in Tarot. Aces are potential and possibility. Tens are completion. Pages are young. Kings rule the World. It’s not the same.

Our Hanged Man is a serious moment. Of course all the Majors address the larger cycles in our lives and fate (yes I believe this) but something about the Hanged Man.  Maybe it’s the influence of my astrology/tarot teacher from years back. I see this card and I go quiet inside. Just like the Hanged Man.

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"uranus square mercury"I was emailing my sister today, asking about her job hunt. She’s a double Leo – Leo Sun and Leo Rising and happy helpful bestower of blessing Jupiter is transiting her First House. It was bound to happen right? Opportunity. Good stuff. Roads opening.

She asked how I was and I mentioned I was feeling sad — not surprising perhaps for a void of course Pisces Moon and Mercury retrograde stationing in square to Neptune and Moon Chiron opposing my natal Moon).  Like the Hanged Man I was feeling stuck, suspended, and getting advice (through the woman who drew the card for me) to stop struggling with the rope because, well, Hanged Man. Tarot writers always remark on his tranquility. Dude’s hanging upside down but chill. Whatever you say, boss.

So I was writing that I was feeling sad for reason X and reason Y and a touch of reason Z… and just now I had a revelation in the form of a conversation with my Self.

This is all I have, I said.
Then go higher, said my Higher Self.

There actually IS more.

That term “Higher Self.”  I first heard it from my teacher. Talk about walking the walk, talking the talk. Not a perfect man (who is?) but a true guru. A man of integrity. God I sound so Virgo Rising don’t I? Virgo Moon. Wanting to make sure you know that I don’t and didn’t worship him (oh he wasn’t perfect) but he was my teacher, a true teacher.

The Hanged Man isn’t waiting for the sake of waiting. Well, he was until I made my discovery here. He is seeking as he hangs. There is much work to be done as he hangs. He cannot stop. He cannot stop for despair. He cannot stop for self-pity. He cannot stop for I do not have. She. She cannot stop for reason X or reason Y or reason Z BECAUSE THERE IS A REASON which must be unveiled, which has not yet been unveiled. The Hanged Man is the Initiate. NOT DONE YET.

"neptune retrograde" See, Death follows the Hanged Man because transformation cannot come until you know more, until you go higher, beyond your current capacity for spiritual understanding.

And then I remembered! PISCES!!!! This Pisces day, this Neptune day and Hanged (Wo)man is associated with Neptune. I had forgotten. I was too busy struggling with the rope, struggling with the water. I was drowning in the wrong way. There IS a right way to go about it.

To be continued (if you remind me) 

xx