I have a friend who is a compulsive eater and I don’t mean one cookie a day or two cookies a day. I mean bags of cookies.
And it doesn’t have anything to do with weight. You can find thin people (hello genetics!) who use food self-destructively.
And we were emailing a little this morning and I am NOT a psychologist or a social worker but I said to her: perhaps it’s time to get to the root of this. Excavate.
Sounds like Pluto right?
She does have an 8th House Moon. 8th House Moon people, in my experience, can be undone by their subconscious stuff, similar to the 12th House.
It’s not about the food, I told her. And I was thinking: it could be drinking, it could be drugs or sex or video games or cutting. Whatever it is, it FILLS her up.
We feel empty and we don’t know what to do. We want desperately to fill that space. And a food addiction has a sensual component to it. There’s texture, smell, taste, the mouth. There could be guilt or fear related to the sensual/sexual desires so it gets transferred to food. Safer, right? Except it’s not. It’s an indirect expression.
I remember now this friend is Leo Sun and Leo Rising and it’s as if… she doesn’t permit herself to feel full or feel pleasure or feel courage. I don’t know anything about her sex life but I imagine that would be worth considering.
It would also be worth considering taking a good hard look at everything that’s in place in her life, ALL the structures, and with a clear detached eye, NO DENIAL AT ALL, clearly examine what actually makes her happy and what she wishes weren’t there, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. The answers, no doubt, will surprise her.
Like, let’s say you are mom and your kid drives you crazy (totally normal) and you find yourself at times wishing your kid wasn’t there (totally normal), you MUST let these feelings come to consciousness and see them for what they are: NORMAL.
It’s when these feelings are pushed underneath that neurosis and sadness and rage come.
This is also a person, by the way, who has a “good chart” at first glance i.e. some lucky placements, a strong Jupiter in the career sector, fire and air making happy sextiles. This person, from what I know, has the independence, the resources, the skills, the ability to get by in the world.
And you know what? I was remembering other things about her chart but I didn’t remember the condition of her Saturn and I thought to myself: does she have Saturn in Pisces? Nah. I would have remembered that.
I opened up her chart and YES. Saturn in Pisces (the escapist, the addict) and in the 8th (sensuality, intimacy, subconscious forces that sabotage us) AND Saturn is retrograde (doesn’t act “normally”) AND Saturn inconjuncts her Sun and Ascendent (procrastination or denial of her Leo nature, ego, courage, affirmation).
And yet her Saturn trines her North Node so following that Saturn is key.
Saturn also opposes Uranus in the 2nd. Self-worth. Erratic self-worth that can be transformed into powerful self-worth (Pluto is there too) and self-love.
With Uranus there, it will always be “in and out,” flickering like a light but Pluto there promises it is possible. Death of the old self. Rebirth of the new.
So it IS about sex and it IS about sensuality and pleasure and feeding the self and being afraid to feed the self and thus the overfeeding, and it IS about intimacy and money (how does the food issue affect her money? It definitely does). It’s a built-in damage from the Gods themselves.
Chiron in the 9th is prone to depression as well.
Was the email I sent her too harsh? I question myself now. It just made no sense to me. This problem has been hurting you for how long? Stop being nice to yourself. Get help instead. That’s the nicest thing you could do.
I sent a few more emails. I apologized just in case. Remove one Jenga block from your tower, and you’ll fall. That’s the scary part but it’s also where the hope is.