I’m not very good at the silent treatment. Giving it or receiving it. Not with someone I love. I always come back. My 1st House Pluto keeps getting reborn, keeps coming back. Call it The Zombie Aspect: Moon Pluto conjunction in the 1st House: hard to kill.
But when someone stops talking to me, it’s as if they are dead. I feel the gap, the absence, the silence, the presence of absence, the hole, the wind, the empty, no noise, nothing, it’s like that poem The Snow Man by Wallace Stevens but, um, not as good.
And it’s like when my mother died. Never heard her voice again. Or when my father died. Although I actually didn’t mind that at the time — because he yelled a lot. So when a lover does that, stops talking, it triggers the old grief, the old way, the old presence of absence and silence. Kind of like a Wendell Berry poem but… nothing like it at all because it’s not full of life at all. It’s full of death.
I wrote this post last night actually, wrote the first draft of it, and I had an image in my mind that I was a twinkling dot in the vast nighttime sky, surrounded by all these other little dots, stars, and these dots were the people I was helping or trying to help and that they were, are, also helping me which also reminded me of Uranus because Aquarius is on my 11th House of Hopes and Dreams and we are all linked because we all have hopes and dreams and desires and failed dreams or ones that came true or are in progress.
But if you are writing to me, it means you haven’t given up yet.
And when I answer? Same thing. It’s a call to life.
The Sagittarius Sun is a time to really embrace life as the centaur does with wild abandon. Whether you knit wildly or meditate wildly or dance or read tarot or cook or eat or love or (gotta say it!) pray or make art or make decisions or dream or love your animals or love this green earth and vast nighttime sky. Or GRIEVE wildly. Or do nothing wildy. Or go to the library wildly. Or swim wildly. Madly. Thrashing in the water. We are all thrashing in the water. Whatever it is. Love it with wild abandon like the centaur who drinks and dances even if your drink is a mocha-choca-latte-ya-ya.
Because when the Sun enters Capricorn? We must do our duty. We must commit. We must go to SeriousTown and liberate Saturn from his crusty reputation and our knees hurt and embrace work work work!
So. Do it. With wild abandon. Like the centaur. While you still can.
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