So I was on my way to the gym when I got the call from my Uncle. Had just gotten off the train. And I knew why he was calling. Why else would he be calling? He doesn’t call that much. My grandfather died. Last night. Around 9:15. And as it turns out, it was Rosh Chodesh Kislev, a new month, the month of Kislev, according to the Jewish calendar, which is lunar. An auspicious day to be sure. The month when we celebrate Chanukah.
Ironic because I had just written about *not* going to the gym on the blog, about taking the day off. Well, I am taking the evening off instead.
And yes the gym did seem sad and lonely and random memories came flooding back even though I hadn’t seen him in quite some time: the strange geometrical wallpaper in their bathroom, the years when he was happier, the pool, Passover, his hair (which is where I get my hair from), that strange wallpaper again 🙂 how brown his skin would get from baking in the sun…
He outlived my grandmother, his siblings, my mother. I do not doubt for a moment that he is finally resting in peace. His final years were really no way to live. Not a life. He was pretty sick. And at my grandmother’s urgency had always taken good care. He had no choice. She forced him. Whole wheat not white bread. Lots of exercise and vitamins. They were the original health nuts. She did yoga when it was just Lillias Yoga and You on PBS.
I shudder when I think of how I am like her in some ways.
He was an Aries, a veteran, a lover of tennis and jazz, he played the trumpet. He suffered from very intense depressions and anxiety (and I feel like I shouldn’t even mention it, out of respect). There came a point when he was never the same. One cousin that I’m close to has her theories why but… he was just never the same and then REALLY never the same once my mother died, the favorite, favored child. It was like the family sunk.
I have no astrology to connect this to. I could look at last night’s chart or think about Capricorn planets squaring his Aries but I’m not seeking answers and I don’t think there are any to find.
The world feels a little dark right now and I really don’t care who Herman Cain did or didn’t sleep with.
I’d like to end this post on a positive note though, somehow. Chanukah and Kislev are times of miracles, Jupiter time, Sagittarius time. It may be dark outside but that’s why we light the candles, that’s why we watch them burn, and then light them again the next night.
To be continued…
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