Moon Pluto and Memory

For more Moon Pluto posts, catch up here and here and here

The old life is fading. My memories are disappearing. But what I mean is that the feelings surrounding the memories are disappearing, getting fuzzy. I don’t know if time heals, but time does pass and we change. Even Moon Pluto people change. I’ll be 41 in almost a month.

And it really does feel like now is the second half, now is the rest of my life. Well, it IS the second half… and still there is something I am trying to describe that I can’t describe yet.

In my own particular case, process has ruled. Nothing has been worked out totally. The self has been worked on. Friendships established. Relationships failed. Fail is a tough word, but I like it. It’s so.. final 🙂 Pluto likes final. Because then sproing! (Not that Pluto ever sounds like sproing) but sproing!! The rebirth! Resurrection!

If you work on it, it can’t help but change and if you don’t work on it, it can’t help but change 🙂 but wouldn’t you rather have a say in the matter? Wouldn’t you rather be trying something?

I wake up and I search for the old anxiety. I am pretty sure less anxiety has something to do with that I stopped eating sugar, going on a few weeks now. But still the mind searches the mind, out of habit.

Moon Pluto feels and feels deeply, all the time. I believe the natal flavor determines how much of that feeling gets out. So it either wanders the halls of your body, trapped, or it gets outside, can become.. art or sex or service. Moon Pluto is a bloodletting. It requires release.

The other day a friend of mine cut his finger in a kitchen accident. He seemed proud, like a child, of the mess he had made, the trouble he’d endured, and that it wasn’t such a big deal anyway. He sent me a picture of himself smiling, holding up the bandaged finger. Now I’m not saying this incident meant anything but delay his routine that evening, but blood is always symbolic. Who cuts himself in the kitchen anyway? It seemed so… old-fashioned. I meant to send him Sylvia Plath’s poem Cut, but I forgot. “What a thrill/My thumb instead of an onion..” Plath, of course, was a Scorpio.

If Moon Pluto is about loss, then it must also be about… gain. Or the win. What do you win with Moon Pluto ? You win depth. Depth of feeling. And if you’re lucky, depth of character. Do you want depth? Well… ? What choice do you have.

M. in the comments was talking about her trine. Yeah, I admit it, I don’t focus on the trine much and I think I should. A kiss of death (Pluto) is still a kiss of death, even if he’s stroking your hair while he’s doing it. It is dark knowledge and who needs or wants it? That’s my point. Here you are with it. I see it like a piece of fruit in the palm of your hand. Take a bite and share the rest.

Note to self: some say the pomegranate was the forbidden fruit

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