The Gods have to help us.
We cannot be expected to *do* this all – on our own —
so we pray, beseech, scream, cry.
And maybe they already are.
Maybe they already ARE doing everything — we just need to see.
I really should check transits.
Moon in Sagittarius.
Venus Neptune opposition.
Oh it’s a tsquare…
AND Moon Saturn conjunction was this morning.
Tomorrow is the Mars Jupiter conjunction – energy. And piercing thoughts.
Mars Jupiter in super smart critical VIRGO.
I came home today, to my third floor walk-up with heavy bags of groceries including a gallon of water, cat litter of 7 lbs, bag of canned cat food, other stuff (people food, sort of), pretty much threw/dropped my heavy bags on the floor and promptly burst into tears
because of the wave of anger that I felt (my Mars is in Cancer – anger usually comes with water, tears) – anger and frustration and —
Feel a little more clear now, some clouds have cleared out –
but what remains is – not just the transit (Mars through my First House and Jupiter of course) but how to proceed – when by transit you’re caught in a Grand Cross.
I hadn’t really thought of it that way before — t tend to use wide orbs, stretch my degrees but — suddenly that part was clear – a cardinal Grand Cross stretching me tight across the skies (to paraphrase TS Eliot)
And being a Jew, I do not know the solution to the crucifixion. No wonder I was posting about the rosary this morning – and asking about Mysteries and the Adoration and other luminous words.
What IS the solution to the crucifixion? That’s what a Grand Cross is. You are pulled apart.
Because THAT is the answer, my answer.
And I do not know.
To get off the cross?
To just… gingerly (or not) step down as though it were possible all along, like the lady in the Eight of Swords can magically unbind her hands and remove her blindfold, leave the marshes behind and find herself transported to the Four of Wands, Ten of Pentacles, some beautiful land where the cooking is always good.
“Isn’t this your life? That ancient kiss still burning out your eyes.” (wrote Richard Hugo).
It’s a beautiful night to save lives (quoting Grey’s Anatomy this time). Tonight I think I’ll save mine.
(And that’s why I loved having sex with that guy so much (the boyfriend who left me or I left him I don’t’ even know anymore) because that was the physical correlative to THIS feeling. This feeling that drives the writing of a blog post LIKE THIS. I was able to take it outside my head. The danger though of course is the Three of Swords, Five of Cups, et al.)
A weekend card for us all: Four of Swords. Rest.