Sunday subway preacher on the Uptown train, in love with God, a passenger muttering YES in between his phrases, and an interesting discussion got started in one of the Chat Rooms this morning (and yes, there is room for you in there, message me if curious).
This gal with the Saturn Moon transit knows her astrology and her tarot too and heaps of other things so whatever I say, I say with respect.
She started talking about loneliness. Waves of loneliness. She was starting to feel them, despite what *some* would consider a wide orb at the moment. Saturn starting to square her natal Moon.
I answered: Loneliness is not a problem. Rule no. 1 of Earth School.
She asked: What is a problem. Nothing?
I answered: ? (I wasn’t sure what she meant).
She clarified and I talked about a girl I know who had cancer and the whole time she was talking about OTHERS who had it MUCH WORSE than her. Problems are often a matter of perspective. What terrifies me… may be jellybeans to you.
The Saturn Moon girl then spoke of her fear of her world getting smaller. She’s got a Jupiter Mars conjunction in the 9th House. My friend who had cancer also has Jupiter Mars, but in the 1st House, natally.
Saturn is transiting through my 3rd at this time and I realize my words can be harsh and the truth is, I want to build my next class around this. And maybe no one will want to take this class, but the idea that… what’s coming through my mouth is sharper/finer than usual at this time, but also pointy, pointed. That said, I am a sensitive Cancer and I felt as though I had dismissed her concern. So I responded again. And my comments got lost while in transit AND my phone kept autocorrecting lonely, replacing it with LOVELY. Ha! So I’m trying to recreate it here.
Loneliness is US. We are Alive with it. Teeming. It’s a JUICY (a Pema Chodron word) opportunity to get closer to YOUR life, to what makes YOU feel afraid, fragile, horrified. Look it in the eye. WHAT IF. Saturn transits are lonely. But so what. No big deal. So you are lonely. I am lonely too. No Shame. We’re all in this together. We’re THIS close.
I don’t presume that my words actually speak to her. I don’t presume that it’s a perfect match. I don’t presume that something she said in passing that triggered ME is a trigger for her. But still I felt compelled because I came out of the womb lonely. And for the first time in my life I am NOT lonely and I know for sure that the only way to… be able to RELY on your stable/self/core is to bend down and face WHAT IS THERE inside you.
Saturn is in Scorpio. Whatever you think you know? KNOW MORE. Know that there is more to know. There IS another layer. There is a detail you’ve overlooked.
Pain like this, a transit like this, only surfaces once in a while, like a black tangle of seaweed on a Miami beach. They looked like doll skeletons to me, when I was a kid, blown in on the waves.
Here’s a Pluto Pollyanna for ya:
Hug and kiss this loneliness. Make sweet love to it. Crush it in your warm arms with passion and tongue.
Another story: I was in my late 20s and becoming religious and moved to Brooklyn and was staying with a friend who was very devout and her mother came to visit, who knew very little English, and she asked me, as everyone did then, where my parents were, and I always tell the uncomfortable truth. That they are gone, dead. And the woman raised up her eyes saying something to the effect that all I had was God. To her, this was not a bad thing. But a fact. And not a bad one.
The girl with Saturn square her Moon and Jupiter Mars in her 9th House will be having a GOD TRANSIT. But aren’t they all? (is what my husband would probably say to me) but Jupiter is what you believe and the 9th is the house of God and this morning I had a related revelation, an hour or so before the chat room discussion:
I realized that I am having the best problems in the world (from my perspective) and this fact shook me out of my (grumpy bitchy) reverie while I was on the train. Had a fight with my husband last night. MY HUSBAND.
I am not lonely today. But I could be lonely tomorrow. Someday he’ll die. And I’ll be brutally inconsolably lonely. But right now is right now and my problems are beautiful. Previous to my marriage? I was only fighting with myself.
Don’t you realize that he wants exactly what you want ? (I thought to myself). To make you happy.
And THAT, in a nutshell, is the sublime transit that we are under now and that will perfect tomorrow: Pluto sextile Chiron:
Pluto (crap from your core arises)
Sextile (you can do it, just flip the switch)
Chiron (making you well).
More to come tomorrow…
I WILL be announcing my new class soon (scheduled for November) and it WILL happen. Apologies to the folks who signed up for the last one that didn’t happen. Just wasn’t the right time. It WILL be a Mars in Libra class (i.e. the Grand Cross of 2014 and how to work with that energy) but also a relationship class (for those who want me to root around in their Mars and Venus stuff). The gloves will be off and I will be sharing the truth (as I understand it) with all willing participants 😉