Love makes me feel weak. And I’m not saying this is good or bad. Yet. I guess it’s neither. Or either. I just know it makes me feel weak. Vulnerable? That too. Like a fight with my boyfriend renders me dumb, voiceless. Because I realize in those moments after the fight that… we are. We are a we. Doing this. And it stops me. And then I shut-up. My body shuts-up. Which is different than shutting down. I go quiet. Like a church. Hello 12th house 🙂
And then it dawns on me that this is how I feel and that I LIKE it, and try to describe it. I’ve got a very Venus Neptune chart. Venus in the 12th, Venus square Neptune, Neptune on my descedent, Neptune in my 3rd giving me dreamy thoughts, and I almost forgot: North Node in Pisces conjunct the descendent.
But these feelings are no less real than my Venus Saturn neuroses. Two sides of the same. And, yes, I do have a Neptune Saturn opposition in my chart. Dream. Crash. Dream. Crash. Dream. But then sometimes? The dream stays a little longer, it spends the night, you wake up with it. Still there? Yes, still here.
And it IS good. There is a deep pleasure for me in these feelings. It’s a humbling feeling but different than the way Saturn humbles. It has an of awe to it. It’s bigger than me. And I feel it deep deep down, in my chest, that very quiet feeling, calm, but deep. I’m sorry I can’t think of a better, more interesting word than deep but by this deep I don’t just mean profound, I mean location: deep IN.
How does love feel to you? Please tell us about your Venus. Don’t be shy 🙂
Contact me to talk about your Venus