I wake up in the morning thinking about my father.
Thinking about my natal Chiron in the 8th House. About my Sun (father) squaring Chiron. About how Cancer Season (which I love, birthday time) activates my Uranus Chiron opposition along my money/self-worth/intimacy axis. How I always forget that one. How I am not my mother but some of my choices remind me of hers. Some of them. And then the differences.
On Monday Venus in Leo (pomp) is square Saturn in Scorpio (truth), mere days before Saturn goes direct. I feel I must caution you. I know I wrote an optimistic post yesterday about Jupiter in Cancer but you are fooling yourself if you think this weekend will be easy, when we are under these aspects growing aspects like a house on fire. Sun in Cancer = HOME.
Yesterday I pulled the King of Cups for a way to approach these few days. Be honest, be good is what I wrote. BE CALM is what you need to do. Put out the fires with King of Cups love.
You may ask me: MoonPluto, how can you call Venus Saturn a firey aspect? It’s cold, isn’t it? Well, the result is cold, cool, aloof but that’s because there is a fire raging on the inside. A pain fire. And Venus is in Leo so yeah it fits that way too. But think about it. Saturn is repression/limitation and Saturn square Venus is pushing down, stomping on the free flowing love expression you were born with. You were a baby once. You slid out of the womb into this world but not necessarily into love.
What do you do when you feel you cannot contain your feelings (i.e. you wish you weren’t feeling them) but you are unable to dig in to your process or expression.
Can you, do you, sit with it? Is it a cry for you? Electricity? A scream? What I feel is a kind of… desperation ache in my gut that makes me cry. And then I feel “guilty” for… not having that finished that play or for having two good poems unfinished in a folder in the desk drawer. I brood.
I think of myself as an expert in handling or working with emotional intensity but it doesn’t mean I’ve mastered my own. It’s on-going. Venus Saturn is another example. How do you turn off the instinct, the impulse of… refusal or cruelty. Venus Saturn is a death aspect. We kill. We kill off the love motes unless we make a BIG effort (Saturn) and yes THE EFFORT IS WORTH IT (I think so anyway).
Those of us who have boxed ourselves in due to Venus Saturn want love so much. You can get free. If you pay attention you’ll notice that you get chance after chance to work (Saturn) on this. ‘Til death (Saturn) do you part.
Force yourself. Start a love fire. You’ll see the difference in your Beloved’s eyes. Maybe not right away okay but over time (Saturn again). And this could be a friend, a father, a lover or your own life.
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