I was going home in a taxi or “car service” as they say in the outer boroughs, coming home from the emergency room for the second time that spring.
Earlier that week I took a fall on the pavement, hurting both knees. I had missed the curb. Stepped down hard and wrong and fell. I remember too my dining companion looking down at me not giving me a hand to lift me up. I don’t mean that to sound all symbolic. It’s simply what happened. It was a bystander who came by to ask me if I was okay and helped me stand. The knees kept on hurting as the days passed, I got worried, so I went in — even though my doctor friend JR told me that if I could stand at all I was probably fine.
More context: I’d been sick all spring so that was not my first trip the ER. I missed a period in February. Tried to bring it and got a light one in March. And then at the beginning of April started bleeding and didn’t stop until a month or so later (sometimes heavy, very heavy) and in the middle of that had the job interview of a lifetime (so I thought at the time) and I rallied. I saw more doctors that spring than ever before. X-rays, ultrasounds, blood drawn, taxis…
But this is not a medical story although I do want to mention that I am doing well and my cycle has returned to normal after a course of medication but I also know now this was no onset of perimenopause, not yet. This was stress, the result of trauma. My body — no, my spirit — was trying to get my attention.
But this is not a trauma story. This is about music and the heart and how one night the driver with his insane sound system blasted Sia’s Elastic Heart and how upon hearing it, I felt alive.
Do not underestimate Jupiter through your 12th House as a prison. Your luck in prison. Yes there are good things, amazing things about Jupiter 12th but it’s hidden from you. And do not absolutely do not underestimate Jupiter crawling out of the 12th House, crossing your Ascendent, like a huge thirsty sunflower, and into the 1st as your redemption.
And please please please don’t even worry about repairing what got broke or reclaiming what was taken or lost. It’s all different now. You’ll see, Virgo Risings. You’ll see.