I can’t not blog about this and yet I want to keep the subject matter somewhat private. Let’s see how I do attempting to discuss this in general terms. It’s a Moon Pluto story in case you are wondering. Moon Pluto in Virgo that is. Analytical, thinky distancing Virgo.
This is what happened: my feelings came back tonight. For two months. Pretty much (exactly) two months I felt numb about a certain situation in my life. And then this evening like a flood, it all ran back to me, emotional memories, body memories. Flashbacks. And I’m not talking about trauma per se but I am talking about pain, loss, disappointment, and the struggle to integrate i.e. that I now need to integrate the old stuff with the present moment. See, the present moment is pretty different from the past but… right now it’s “neither here nor there.” Or it’s both/and!
How is this a Moon Pluto topic? Emotional intensity. The dam and then the dam breaking. So I made my New Moon in Gemini intention around this idea of integration even though I’m not sure yet how I’ll do it.
Will there be more feelings, more revelations? I’m sure of it.
What are your thoughts on integrating past and present?
Love, MP
11 thoughts on “For MoonPluto People And Anyone Else With Intense Emotions Who Can’t Tell The Past From The Present This Evening”
I hope ya’ll are correct….”things adding up”. It’s funny to read this today, because just yesterday I started saying to myself that I needed to pray for clarity. I’ve been very resentful of something I went through and I’ve been hanging onto for 2 years…TWO YEARS!!!!! I vacillate between being okay and peaceful with it and being completely angry and sad and it’s all very exhausting. I just don’t know how to let it go completely. I feel like I need an answer to MY satisfaction and that’s just not gonna happen. I want to be done with it…but man…it sneaks up on me and has the power to get me so upset. I pray that I will soon be able to stay in the peacefulness all the time about it. I’m soooo tired.
Perhaps finding some balance about it, elizabethe instead of the two extremes
Don’t want to distract with my unrelated details. However, I can confirm a situation which occurred just about two months ago (off by two days) was matched by a very similar one that occurred just after last Friday/Saturday’s eclipse.
Observing and dealing with the emotional reaction to that took place on Sunday and Memorial day.
[Appears to validate concurrent timing.]
This time ’round, things were much easier because of integration which has taken place over the last couple of weeks (I firmly attribute this to the eclipses). Part of which resulted in what @Charlotte wrote: “haven’t felt this driven to purpose for many years” — It just came back clearly: Know what I’m here for, know what I gotta do ; the rest is just distraction.
Of course, being Scorpio ascendant, I’ve been swimming in this stuff for weeks, working the transformation, and release comes [relatively] easily.
Just trying to suggest, it seems to me, there is a kind of “integrating” energy which has been coming out of the eclipses. (This has also been confirmed by other acquaintances.)
So, Aliza, I suspect there may be some unexpected and unseen help coming from the sky. Maybe there won’t be a need to try incredibly hard to do anything except to be able to face the past emotions clearly.
Best Wishes.
All the details ARE related, Excitorus. Don’t worry about that. I think I figured it out though. This morning. Thanks for your thoughts!
Ah! Guess you were on the mark about the details. I didn’t want to distract from the theme of integration. . . . But, for me, a large part has been about letting go.
The event of two months ago was, essentially, a door being slammed in my face quite firmly and with no opportunity for “fixing” it. Someone projecting her fear onto me. Quite frustrating and exasperating — “But, but, but, You’re not even listening to me.” (Hmm, 3rd house Chiron 😉 )
And, the event of this past week was very similar, more projection. But, this time, it had the feel of a “final exam” practical: “Can you really do this?”, “Yes, I can.” So, this time I just stepped away once the pattern became apparent. (Which seems to have helped.)
For me, the integration theme is still there, but it’s a matter of returning to a sense of “Being right in the world.”
I also wrote, but erased, I also have been strongly getting a sense that June is going to be a time of bringing this all together. The deep issue which these two (above) events are part of, and which has been my subject of growth for the past year does appear to be coming to a resolution.
YES! Letting go and coming to a resolution! Lol my mom is playing an old song “Let me be free, let me beee” and its so fitting for this energy. Wow, I totally didn’t realize what those eclipses were trying to release in me until now.
I feel that way about June. It’s adding up finally.
AND I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT (Excitorus)
Hey that posted before I could finish…heart out.
Yes. That sounds like a good remedy…write it all out.
How have I integrated the past and the present? Certainly writing helps…poetry and such give me a fresh perspective of the past …but I just kind of let time do it’s thing. Hurt fades. Tears dry up. Gratitude for what is now in front of me. I know it sounds cliche and when people would tell me ” time heals all wounds” I wanted to kick ’em in the teeth. But you know what? It’s true. And I put music on while driving I can feel deep in my soul. And sing or cry my
I felt this during Memorial Day. It was as if every loss I’d ever felt was coming back at that very moment and I didn’t know why I couldn’t shake it off. At the time, Mercury was conjunct my Chiron so maybe that was my story but earlier today I felt a similar feeling like I was feeling someone else’s pain and loss and I wasn’t sure why. I’m hoping it isn’t my Spidey Sense tingling…
I’d say the best thing you can do is feel the emotions and write it all out, so that they run through you. They’re there for a reason, so sit with them, see what parts of your body are feeling them, and don’t think too much about it other than to remind yourself there is sadness in you, but you are not sad. Its a memory, not reality. Allow yourself to see it and eventually your brain will process it without you realizing it.
I just felt something meet my Jupiter and I was profoundly moved to move past everything superficial to create something that will profoundly shift humanity for generations. I have no clue what that is, but I haven’t felt this driven to purpose for many years.