Maybe the trauma goes way back. Before the ones you DO remember.
You were too young to remember but you just feel, felt, somehow, different. Something wrong. And it’s this secret, this “difference” which holds you back. Keeps you stuck. Maybe you have trouble earning a living. Maybe you have money but you can’t leave your stupid boyfriend. Maybe. Maybe everything you REALLY want seems impossible. Maybe everything.
I’m thinking a lot about bravery this evening because I drew Two Wands for someone for a question on creativity — and Strength for me for a question on my knees feeling better because earlier I drew the Hanged Man and that wasn’t good enough. Fuck you, Oracle. GIVE ME A BETTER OUTCOME. Sometimes getting out of bed is plenty brave but I’d like a little more, thanks.
(Will it. I hear my Inner Self say. Will yourself well.)
Today I was on a long phone call with a client and I compared her girlfriend to a lioness. I love lions she said. Every Tarot card is the Strength card I said. Because we all need this. La Force. PASSION BRAVERY.
Yoav Ben-Dov in his book The Open Reading writes:
the card expresses self-confidence and personal strength, without the need for violence or forceful oppression. Cooperate rather than fight. The Force tames her passions.
This is the way to get well, whatever your sickness. This is the brave way, whatever your disease. Will yourself well. And allow time. Time to heal it up. Allow the time it must take for… well… I’m honestly not quite sure what our Two Wands gal WANTS to create.