I don’t know what to do now about love. It feels like one big thing. That I went from the previous one to the no longer current one and I tell myself I am done with it. That others may love me, as I go forward through my life but I will not love anyone again. I’m inventing a word here: cannotwillnot.
Transiting Venus is sitting on my Mars now. The insatiability of the conjunction. And this same Venus will square Saturn in Libra in the coming days, IS squaring Saturn now. I feel it now. Saturn is reality. Saturn is TRUTH. Square Venus and it’s a hard truth about love.
And I know these are dark thoughts and will probably illicit an unfortunate small stream of comments but it’s my job to write what I feel. The Full Moon was conjunct my descendent which feels like a “burying the dead” transit to me. I have a Moon Pluto conjunction in Virgo and the dead “body” is the body of this love.
Maybe what I need to do, because I love a good ritual, is imagine its transformation. Not leave it in the cold hard ground but burn it, make a sacrifice. Honestly I don’t know the solution just that it feels black.
And the longer he and I go without speaking, the louder I hear God’s voice. What I mean is I hear the wind outside instead of my heart.
When you don’t understand why something happens, your job is not always to wrestle out the meaning, I mean, you’ll make yourself crazy. What you can do is say “Okay. This is happening.” And then listen.