Do you get that feeling of MUST KNOW?
A friend of mine — quite devout — told me to look for the bracha, the blessing in it. Although we weren’t talking about the whole story we were talking about a new development.
But I admit I feel completely dumbfounded. I want:
1. to know why
2. for the pain to stop.
But the pain continues.
Not non-stop, but it comes. My guest.
Today I did not know how to make room for it.
It was… inconvenient.
Would the pain be less if I knew why? I’m not so sure. A wise man told me not to stay obsessed with… knowing or having the answers.
If you have not really wept, you have not really started to meditate.
I have wept. And I have meditated. But something else is swelling here.
If I were to attach this feeling to a single transit, I’d be looking for the Transit of Voicelessness & Fog which must be remedied by the Transit of Song, the Voice. Sounds like Neptune a mile long in either direction. Sigh.
Mars is conjunct Neptune now, in Pisces. Mars is force. Neptune is fog. What you need are headlights. The things you want to break are already broken (says Mars Neptune). There’s no point (says Mars Neptune) This too shall pass (says Mars Neptune).
And that frustration you feel? That’s the fuck-energy of Mars plus the longing wistful distance of Neptune. Sigh. Sigh (says Mars Neptune).
I’ll be glad when this transit is over and I have my Saturn back. Oh. Mars Neptune is squaring Saturn. That’s the frustration of your passion and desire right there. I pray for the remedy of this condition in 2015 before my head and heart explode.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Mercury goes retrograde next week in the sign of Aquarius, the Water Bearer, the container of emotion, not the emotion itself, and we have a New Moon (and Sun) in Aquarius as well.
Can you let yourself be new?