Depression. What is it good for? Astrologers often blame Moon Saturn contacts for the heaviness of depression and I’ve got the trine and do not disagree. And then there are Moon Pluto aspects which can cause much emotional intensity. No matter how you slice it, does it all come back to the moon? To the mother? Ah, Freud, if I had the energy right now I’d look up your chart! Moon + Pluto: death of mother? death of family? death of home? death of… well, what is left?
I realize as I write this that my blog posts tent to enact what I ‘m talking about, not just describe it. Like, when I talk about North Node in Pisces, the post itself is Piscean. And when I talk about Moon Pluto, the post itself is… tender like the moon but harsh like Pluto. Yes, Pluto is change and Pluto is transformation and Pluto is the Death card but there is a reason why Pluto transits or hard Pluto natal aspects have the reputation that they do. Because Pluto kills. Slowly. And then comes the rebirth.
But back to my original point: for some, when the big D shows up, they fight it. For others, they go with it, lie in bed. Still, some others will lie in bed AND fight it. And then there are the people who stay busy on purpose so that they don’t have to feel anything at all. Feelings, ew. Yuck.
And then there are the stories we tell ourselves, the “if only’s.” If only I had that job, or that person, or that success, or that piece of pie or that cigarette. And the cruel truth is that, well, YES, it would help if you got, if you had, what you wanted more often than not. I think it’s not so much that we can see depression in the natal chart but that we can see the bounce-back quality, lots of Jupiter, say.
I have an old friend with a ton of trines in his chart. His life is not perfect but he does have a fair amount of luck, even with winning the lottery. He gets depressed every spring for a couple weeks but otherwise just kind of bounces along. AND he’s a Cancer sun. Everything else in fire and air though. He doesn’t get “stuck” in depression. He moves on to the next thing.
And all this was what I was thinking about at 3am when I couldn’t sleep last night and wishing that I could see depression as some kind of cleansing or spiritual friend but in the moment, I could not.
So that becomes the question: how, in the moment, to recognize a mood as a mood, a phase as a phase, something passing as something passing. Everything changes. Everything moves. Even your bad mood. Even your good mood. Problems come when situations feel like they don’t change for years, decades, but often that is because you can’t see. See? We need other people. And we need the moon. The moon reminds us that it is normal to wax and normal to wane and each can be counted on. Reliable like Saturn. Like Moon trine Saturn.
Do you depress?
Note to Self: to be continued…
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