I promise I will write about this weekend. Probably tomorrow morning after my coffee WHAT A WEEKEND IT IS!!!!
In the meantime I want to tell you to name your path.
This was something I told to a client today. Name the path. The one you are currently on. And it could change. It will change. For the moment, name it.
I told her to surrender. She has a natal Sun Pluto square.
Here’s the thing:
how does a Sun square Pluto person feel safe and secure ever and I do mean EVER when the very basis of her personality (Sun) is destruction (Pluto)?
No matter how much you have, you’ll never feeeeeel safe and secure so it can be freeing to realize this, to realize OH I’ll never feel safe and secure.
So then the questions change. Take THAT question off the table and what else is left???????????????
It’s like someone who is “older” and searching for love their whole life and their whole identity is wrapped around being alone and searching for love and not having love and etc etc etc so what happens when she or he meets the Beloved? And marries the Beloved! And the so-called PROBLEM is gone???
Who are you then?
Who are you without your fear, your lack, your trick, your disease, your despair?
From some experiences we do not recover. Life hands them over like terrible hostages. Or maybe you are the hostage of the bad dream that came to life. I’ll tell you right now what to do about it:
feel the feeling and let it go.
Now what does this mean: feel the feeling.
I’ll tell you what it doesn’t mean.
It doesn’t mean it takes a minute. It often takes longer than a minute. It can take years. But you feel. You feel that ten year feeling and then you let it go. I think we hold on because we don’t want to let it go. Because often it’s all we have left. Someone dies and our grief is what’s left. We carry it like we carry their favorite coat. I still have two of my mother’s perfumes (from over 20 years ago).
This weekend we have an exercise in this letting go because today and tomorrow could make you wince a little.
Mercury in Sagittarius who just wants to say whatever is on their mind comes up against Chiron and painfully so. It’s not just self-doubt. It’s feeling like nothing you ever think or say is okay.
Do you have a Chiron square to a personal planet?
You may feel like you are wrong or mistaken for even existing.
I don’t recommend being born with this aspect but if you have it, you have it and if you have it, you are a teacher. I’m sorry you have to live with this bloody broken heart but the only way to possibly alleviate some of this pain is to accept this fate and not isolate yourself in your pain.
This is what Chiron is, in the birthchart. This is what Chiron shows. The worst case scenario. This is what I found myself saying to a client the other day: that where Chiron is – in the birth chart – is that person’s WCS.
She’s got a Venus Chiron conjunction. That’s how this blog post was born.
And forever and ever we get triggered, when something (a transit, a person’s chart) touches our Chiron (and any planets near our Chiron).
I said to her: as soon as you start to love (Venus), your Chiron (your worst case scenario, your wound) wakes up.
I hate it when people say: oh the worst case scenarios don’t happen because of course they do. Her partner’s wife died in an accident. And there was a man I went out with. Same story. Here then gone. My mother went into the hospital and didn’t come out a day later. And often the WCS isn’t death at all. It’s surviving something no one should have to bear.
This is your Chiron. Somewhere in your chart, the unthinkable happened. That house, those aspects. And you get triggered, sometimes more, sometimes less.
I said to her:
You can’t not feel both. Venus AND Chiron. This won’t keep you from happiness or keep you from love, but you must surrender to being the healer and to being healed. Surrender to help and helping. To hurt and hurting.
To find Chiron in your own chart, you have to know how to read your chart. It’s actually pretty simple once you know the ground rules. There are free charts available on line of course and Google is your friend. Dig around. This is also something that we can talk about in a Reading so let me know.
Sometimes I see a Chiron placement in someone’s chart and wonder how it feels to them, that their wound feels as bad as mine does. It reminds me of a huge wave. A huge wave waiting. It waits for just the right moment and then you see, feel nothing else. Only the wound. That’s all you are. You become the wound. Nothing more. And we all have Chiron somewhere.
Is there help or hope for Chiron?
Yes. To dive in.
I don’t think we had this language before but things change. What you do with Chiron is talk about it, write about it, expose it, share it. Make it be known. Open it up. Show it off. Maybe not with everyone but, well, depending on where your Chiron is, you’ll KNOW who you need to share it with. Don’t hide anymore. Let it be seen. And then dance on its grave. Celebrate your wound. Crown it. Glory it. It’s what shouldn’t be seen so see it. SEE IT!
When I first learned astrology, all those years ago, in that class in New York City, near Penn Station, from a real Occultist, a real Magician, I learned about Chiron. He included Chiron in the chart. Not everyone does.
Some folks do not include Chiron or do not consider him as important as the other outer planets or slow movers.
I wish I didn’t.
I wish we didn’t have a Chiron or need a Chiron.
I wish all of us were without wounds. But this is not “Moshiach time” as a lady I once worked for would probably say. In plain English, this isn’t heaven on earth. Yet.
We have our wounds and they need a representative(s). Chiron is one of these. He makes sure we are continually reminded of our vulnerability. Fragility. Humanity. It’s soooo painful, says Chiron. Can you soften when you are reminded of this instead of hardening your heart? I’ll try too.
Over the years I’ve met more than one astrologer who felt Chiron could NOT be healed, that this wound always opens and re-opens throughout our lives, depending on the transit and our life experiences. This has been my perspective too, and I always felt those “love and light” astrologers were full of shit. You know the ones I mean? The ones who talk about how great Saturn and Pluto are as if their transits were theme park rides. Life is hard.
No one wants to be writhing in pain all the time and we’re not, for the most part, hopefully, ideally, AND YET those of us who are the explorers and seeker and deep divers, well, we live on a sharp edge. We get hurt. We trust. Many of us are empaths, artists, believers in the invisible.
Question: how to make peace with Chiron. That something will always hurt, has the potential to always hurt, and can get triggered pretty much any time. What do we do? Can we make peace? What do we do? So let’s say Chiron can’t be healed. And let’s say we are so wounded, so so so so wounded. And we try to work and love and be and live whatever life we have and… Chiron. Always Chiron.
“They say” we are supposed to take knowledge from our personal pain. That it’s a gift we can eventually give. Teach. That we can help others. I do believe this is true. Take our writhing and our sorrow and straighten up and strengthen and be a lighthouse for others, be a help, be a heart, life preserver.
Today I reached out to a friend. I was so bummed about something and she was there for me and she showed me good things when all I had to say was sorrowful things. She was a good mirror. She was good.
It was Chiron that was talking, my essential wound. My rejection. Not my filth. That’s Pluto. Not my punishment. That’s Saturn. But my Chiron. My essential wrongness. In all of us there is a place deep inside that just feels incapable of redemption, fixing, perfection, help. That’s Chiron’s curse and the irony is we really can hold others up, comfort others, even when we feel beyond that same help.
Maybe that’s the only way to make peace with Chiron. To give him voice. Speak about the wound. Speak loudly about the wound. Sing it. I’m not sure I ever do. Yes another way is to counsel others and be a good friend but I think there has to be this other way because for many of us giving counsel is not our path. But in this age of social media we can all speak out and take pain out of the dark and make it plain and SEEN. And heard.
Chiron says: I’m not good enough. I’m not X enough. The X is whatever House he’s in for you. That House becomes a black sun. X it out. Cross it out. Ignore it. Until BAM you are forced to confront your brokenness once again.
Advice: find a friend.
Advice: if you don’t have a friend find good counsel who will comfort you. Advice: if you don’t have a friend or counsel find GOD (Goddess, a candle, a Saint).
FIND IT. Because even if writhing in pain occasionally is inevitable, so is solace.
I had people complaining, as people tend to do, but MORE people coming to me and saying YES and thanking me.
But let’s move on, for a moment, away from Moon Pluto aspects (although you know we shall return!!!).
Chiron in Pisces went retrograde on July 1st. Venus entered Gemini on July 4th.
Pisces and Gemini “square” and the square is an aspect that you should always be aware of — whether it happens by transit or it’s in your own birth chart.
Keyword TENSION is often associated with the square, and I agree with that, but let’s go a bit deeper, briefly.
The retrograde status of Chiron at this time signals a REVIEW. It’s not a new issue coming to light (is it ever?).
I find that squares are so unconscious that they feel second nature. And they are!
We just do those squares in our charts. We just live them. Whatever! It’s just who we are. We don’t question them. We don’t notice what they are doing but we should!!! Because squares tear us apart, hold us back, mess up our relationships especially if they are Venus squares! Eventually we realize we got PROBLEMS. And that WE, not just fate or other people, are a problem.
Here is a caveat for the haters who read my blog anyway:
YES there are always exceptions YES you may experience your square differently
YES not all squares are created equal
Due to the proliferation of information and astrology experts on the social media, I have to add these caveats – to save the haters from having to waste their precious time and energy from telling me that it’s different for THEM or for people they KNOW.
YES, I am aware.
So the squares are DRIVERS, motivators — we want what we want and the squares get in the way and yet they push us —
they are drivers that repeatedly crash into walls until how the square functions comes to our consciousness. Over and over and over.
your relationships continually fall apart and not in a good way (and you may not even be conscious enough to see this) and you have your natal Venus in a t-square or grand cross in your birth chart.
THIS IS WHY. This is WHY your relationships fall apart.
And until you get under those squares, untangle how they function and YOUR part in the stuckness, it won’t ever change. Realize you have a blind spot and you may need your partner or friends to tell you, show you, without you getting defensive.
SQUARES ARE STICKY.
And you may have a Venus Saturn square and feel like: okay I’m not doing the low side (being cold, distant, parental, taking on an authoritative role, turning the relationship into teacher/student or some other up/down binary) and yet…. that Venus Saturn square keeps Venus’ love (for herself and others) all seized up, cold, and afraid.
Be vigilant about your squares, people. Put them under the microscope. Sometimes I counsel people to toss the microscope but your squares need it. It’s like allergies. You could die if you let your guard down.
While Venus is in Gemini, Venus will square Chiron (and Neptune, but Chiron is the one on my mind today).
And when Venus squares Chiron you will get a heads up. You will feel it!!
This aspect is exact July 30th so consider it “building” until then. Building up to the revelation! Interesting on the same day, Venus is sextile Uranus (which is an easier aspect) and the Moon is in Scorpio. RESEARCH THE WOUND.
The truth or information that is revealed will be about YOU:
how you DO relationship.
How you do love.
How you do social life.
How you do girlfriend or boyfriend or husband/wife/partner.
How you do self-esteem.
How you do friendship.
How you do all these interactions with others.
A painful truth comes.
Forget about THEM. This one is about YOU.
You think everything is so fine. Or not so fine. You think you are in the right. You think you are up on your own personal natal squares. You think you know.
And this: victim victim victim. I’m a victim. I’m an angel and THEY SUCK. Victim of fate. Victim of other people. And here comes Chiron to validate that! Chiron comes along to make you feel worse. I got no money, no love, no health, no meaningful purpose, no god, no this, no that, no man, no woman, no family, no sanity, no home, no beauty, no personality, no clothes, no shoes, whatever your story is, no matter how true or false it is. Venus square Chiron feels like that. Wounded and never gets better.
And yet somehow you are keeping your internet on, reading this blog. Even if that’s all you got, you got it. It’s a start. Waking up is a choice.
So Venus, which is about our survival more than people usually realize, comes along to square Chiron which destabilizes Wounded Healer Chiron from his/her healing and tending activities and studies and mentoring and makes Chiron STOP the healing and tending and fixing and studying and learning and forces Chiron to pay attention to…
her. To Venus. Poor Venus. Ugly and unloved. Not because she’s in Gemini but because Chiron is squaring her and that’s how she feels and nothing can convince her otherwise.
And then it passes. The transit passes and life goes on so the question becomes what to do for and around this – while it’s happening – so you can gain from it instead of just let it pass you by, throwing its bloody thorns.
Venus in Gemini likes to dance. She wants Chiron to dance with her. Clouds part. Love. This Venus square Chiron is about love, your experience of love.
You MAY need to start from the beginning.
* Last night I was all up on YouTube searching for a good novena to St. Rita and I stopped by one video which told the story of St. Rita (a pretty intense one but hey she’s a Saint and they tend to have those kinds of stories) and she is one of those Impossible Causes saints, like St. Jude and I prayed because I got something in my life that sometimes feels like an impossible cause hell yes (sometimes more than one thing! Sometimes a a legion of things that feel this way). And I prayed and I prayed for her intercession (as I tend to do) and I got DEEP into my victim feeling. and it didn’t feel bad. Deep deep deep deep deep and I prayed and prayed and prayed. Pray for us, Saint Rita! You have GOT to help me with this. It requires INTERCESSION n shit.
And the rest of this blog post isn’t about Saint Rita interceding on my behalf – that remains to be seen – but advice for your Venus Chiron transit or if you have a hard Venus Chiron aspect in your chart.
Creative victimhood. Make something of your status, of your station. If you’re gonna play that way, then OWN IT. Have a sense of humor about your lowly worm-ness. Not that prayer is necessarily creative but it was an ACTION. And an action has a little core of belief in it, or a little core of faith. That somehow the situation can change for the better.
I think we can get so lost in Chiron in Pisces. Can feel muddled. It’s so damn vast. No boundaries, no borders. Just floating around in the martyrdom but when the Venus square comes along, your self esteem may very well rise up on a Gemini wave. She wants to dance. She wants to be pretty. She wants to talk! She wants to know she is okay and doesn’t require fixing or healing at all. She IS pretty and she does dance.
The square is like the thorn on Saint Rita’s forehead (you’ll have to google her story if you don’t already know) but Saint Rita wasn’t just a thorn, you know? She wasn’t just a wound.
If you have a HARD Moon Pluto aspect in your chart, then your mother had a problem.
Here’s one scenario. Let’s dive right in:
Our mothers wanted to kill us. Hi Moon (mother) Pluto (death).
Or it may have been more passive — them wishing we’d never been born or wishing we would “just disappear” (and then feeling guilty, and guilt that remains in the shadow and does not become surface consciousness can breed some ugly monsters, like projection, projection onto the child).
When a person doesn’t admit the full range of human emotion, that’s when the problems start. The problem isn’t the FEELING as much as denying the feeling.
So it’s likely subconscious on their part. But WE feel. We see it. We feel it. It’s too taboo for her to feel. And add this on to whatever other problems there were, her childhood, her marriage, her life situation, the stresses of motherhood, etc. Not that I’m making excuses for the evils that *some* parents do. Because I don’t make excuses.
If a mother doesn’t want her child, if a mother abandons or neglects or abuses her child (emotionally physically sexually), has bad boundaries with her child, all of this of course goes against the Ideal Mother idea, which she also has in her head. We all do. So it stays in the shadow space and gets projected onto the poor kid who was born into it. Innocent.
And this is one reason why I love astrology. Because we have the star language to discuss it.
If you have a Moon Pluto hard aspect, there were times when your mother wished that you were never born or she treated you that way, with such discard. Maybe she wanted an abortion or a miscarriage and didn’t have one, wasn’t able.
She projected her violent self loathing onto you and you as a child absorbed this. You had no choice. It was your womb. And you either turn it against yourself or others, in some way, somehow.
as a grown-up you can be free of her projected violent self-loathing. It fact, you have to become a PERSON not a projection. To be happy. Become a SELF. This is what healing is.
This may be hard for you to imagine if you had a healthy mother most of the time. You can’t imagine what it is for the caregiver to abandon or neglect or abuse. You haven’t known it.
You may also have a Moon Pluto hard aspect and not see yourself in this but you likely will, eventually. Some part of this blog post description will ring in your ears if you remember it.
So how does one heal? This is the most important question of all and I drew the Hanged Man for us.
First, there has to be a period of full acceptance of what was. Without ANY self-blame. Full acceptance of what the REALITY was. No excuses. Full reality. Holding her accountable. For what was. Clearly, fully.
As Marsha Linehan wrote: acceptance of reality is not the same as judging it good.
So this means no Neptune, no clouds, no excuses. Of course it may have been good some of the time and bad some of the time and neutral some of the time but some bad is REALLY REALLY BAD and it’s important not to curtain it off, section it off, into some shadow brain space.
I believe that if you don’t see things for how they were or are, to the best of your ability, you cannot truly heal or be healthy. For example, if your mother was psychotic, you can’t pretend she wasn’t. Labels can be helpful in this way. Name the behaviors. Behaviors are not that hard to identity and name. Does it take courage? Yeah, it does.
Because also if you try to discuss such things with “friends” or family members, they probably don’t want to go there unless they too are a Moon Pluto person who has come to consciousness.
Reality is the only way out of hell and Moon Pluto children were born into the mother’s hell.
Most important: it’s not your fault. It wasn’t your fault. But you do not have to continue living as a projection of your mother’s violent self-loathing.
You can find YOU.
This happens all the time — there are people who live their lives and we interact with them, but they are projections not actual “people.” Know what I mean?
There is hope but hope comes with the price. If you start on this process, you will feel heartbroken for a good long while. I can promise you that. But eventually you will learn to live side by side with this heartbreak. Not that it makes the past okay but that you co-exist and THEN you can love and be happy and healthy in all the ways you dream of.
I’ve got so much on my mind. I’m not sure where to start. I’ve been all up in my social media the last few days going on and on and on about PLUTO and power. And I’m thinking about energy work a.ka. MAGICK. And yes I do spell it with a K. Magick is the defense (or the offense) of the powerless. It’s more than that of course but hear me out –
There is a raw power us Pluto people have and this raw power can back up, can turn on itself. I have a moon pluto conjunction in my first house and thus the name of this blog. And honestly I don’t even want to define what I mean by PLUTO PEOPLE because I don’t want to leave anyone out but for sure Pluto conjunct your Sun or Moon and for sure Pluto in the first house and you have this power and it will f**k you up if you don’t know how to work with it, what to do with it. You can’t just let it sit there. It will wither and and stink and rot and people will hate you. You have to give your Pluto a purpose.
If you do not give your Pluto a purpose, a JOB, you WILL feel powerless (despite the power), become depressed FOR DECADES, continue victimhood year after year because you keep attracting and keeping the wrong people and situations as your mental health plummets – NOT that I blame you because maybe nobody ever told you and they don’t teach astrology in school but I want to show you that – YOU HAVE THIS POWER but you can’t just… la la la.. be NEPTUNE about it. You can’t be Neptune with Pluto. You can’t just hope for the best. You have to be aware of it, work with it, shape it. ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE and that people see your Pluto, respond to your Pluto. Be aware. Own it. Figure out how to behave in the world. You may attract sociopaths and even if you have been victimized PLEASE identify with another archetype as well. That’s fine. There is more than one card in the Tarot deck. There is more than one script for you to read. You may have been abused but you are MORE than that.
An idle Pluto is a sick Pluto.
I was talking to a client this morning with a first house Pluto and I swear we WILL SUFFER until we become ruthless. Ruthless with our faith and our magick and our refusal to die and by die I mean to accept less than our power requires. Anger is righteous, Anger is good. Let your Pluto stir you to an angry frenzy when you feel powerless and NOT to hurt anyone but to draw to you people and situations that will help you rise and rebirth like the Phoenix you are.
Does this make sense? Are you nodding your head? Do you know what I’m talking about?
You will feel uncomfortable if you work with this energy. If you decide to access your Pluto. You will get tired and need to take breaks. Believe it or not, Pluto in the first house, or Pluto Sun or Moon can be quite meek. YOU tuning in to your power, becoming your power, it won’t feel yummy good like Venus or spiritual like Neptune. You will feel like you are transgressing and you are (and yet you are supposed to) But honestly, for the Pluto person, I don’t know of any other way.
And I want to reassure you, again, that it’s OKAY to be angry and in fact, anger is a magickal seed here. I think without a seed of that anger your spells will fall flat and again I am NOT talking about curses or revenge or hurting people. I am talking about MANIFESTATION. What you want. And that your emotions are your energy and I think you need to realize how powerful that energy is.
Okay so this is NOT a new discovery of mine and perhaps not a new discovery of yours – but it is something I am currently experiencing.
I wrote poems about this as an undergrad – spiritual longing.
That was one way it found a voice. Poems. And then at Iowa, the same. Poems about the search for union with God. Over and over and over. (And then I think: what does that even mean? Union with God and yet that was the language I used at age 25.)
So really this is a rediscovery, a re-remembering and Jupiter in Libra is opposing my 8th House. And I have Chiron (with Eris) and also Ceres in the 8th House. There are other transits too to mention but I wanted to start with the 8th House.
The 8th House rules (among other things) intimacy and our deepest exchanges with others and I want to tell you that the deepest exchanges may not be physical or of the body or financial (we call the 8th other people’s resources i.e. the 8th is the 2nd to the 7th – the spouse’s money). If the 8th is about energy exchange then it’s about ALL intimacy, including spiritual. Closeness. Exchange. Union. (Oh I want to define my terms more but I just have to post this!)
Which is where I’m at now and why I tell the stories that I tell in Chat Room A (the Moon Lodge), stories that I don’t yet tell anywhere else but am starting to a bit, here. The revolution has started and it cannot be stopped and it doesn’t want to stop.
What I know for sure for myself — and possibly for many many Venus/Neptune people of which I am one (Venus Pisces, Venus 12, Venus Neptune aspect people): that ALL (yes all) love and especially sex is a spiritual SEARCH.
And it is up to us to find the right way, right path, right channel and from this correctness, the BETTER human to human partnerships of all kinds will result.
But I’d like to go a step further and say this task is for ALL of us. Not just the Venus Neptune people.
I think my 8th House transit is but one transit that is making this bloom for me. There are more including the recent Virgo Eclipse which was bang on my Ascendent and Vesta (exact).
The first part of this blog post is from my Facebook…
I am going to be talking about this, blogging about this.
As my 2015 Solar Return year winds down – and I consider dating again – everything I’ve learned up to this point… about Venus square Saturn… about Moon conjunct Pluto (two natal aspects that I have) about VALUES and self worth, self esteem, about friendship…
Howard Sasportas was right and it sounds corny to say – but the most important Venus issue is self-worth.
Does your behavior match how you say you feel about yourself? Know thyself. If you feel shitty, know it! If you feel grand, know that too! Find the truth!
And it’s something you feel – that you feel SELF-POSSESSED and will not let yourself down, will not betray yourself, your values…
It’s okay to say no – to a date, to an offer, to sex.
It’s okay for someone to like you and you don’t have to DO anything.
And it’s also okay to say YES – if you want to.
Yesterday was talking to a client and – I had had a similar experience to her – the yo-yo thing.
Guy shows up. Love bombs, promises, seduces. And disappears.
Her yo-yo experience is lasting longer than mine. She has more time in yo-yo hell.
But she WILL get past it. She will. It wasn’t an overly obsessive chart but with Virgo Rising she’s got Pluto transiting her 5th (obsessive, intense).
But I felt confident she would find love again – just not with this dude.
It’s okay to want more. It’s okay to want someone who treats you nicely and with care!
Don’t you deserve to be treated with care? See? That’s self-worth! And also recognizing the difference between caring and the lack of it… sometimes we cannot see this, especially those of us with Neptune charts! We see the POTENTIAL. How they may be at some time in the future. Well, my dears, the time is NOW. Interaction is NOW — not in some fantasy future.
So much was happening in my yo-yo experience. It was a complex time in my life. I really wasn’t ready to be with anyone and I wasn’t looking but he came on strong and we got to talking and eventually we met. I’ll say we “dated” but that isn’t quite the right word. We Eight Housed it. And I don’t just mean the physical.
After we moved past some difficult moments I thought we were in the clear. BUT THEN a behavior of his made me angry (I won’t specify here) and I told him so. Indelicately. Assertively. I felt hurt. I asked various male friends: would you do such and such? Everyone agreed he did not behave well. So I said my piece.
You can guess what that did…. he backed off.
I felt bereft — here I was feeling like I was NOT being treated with care, getting angry about it, and then regretting my actions even though I believe it was my self-worth that was standing up for me. I wish I had just let it go then and there. But I didn’t. I kept trying to figure it out. Kept feeling badly. Kept tying myself up in knots. Kept drawing Tarot cards. Kept hoping. Kept looking for hope. The connection felt like once in a life time and then… poof.
As the months passed I got to know him better in this estranged state from texts here and there. I saw parts of his personality that I didn’t like at all. Began to see him clearly. Shallowness. Meanness. Lies. All of that was shadowy until it wasn’t anymore.
Something I realized last night. I could do it now. I can date NOW. I couldn’t last year. Anything I tried would have failed unless that person had a maturity and patience far beyond mine (rare). And perhaps not even then. I had to this (the realizations and inner changes) on my own. But this grueling yo yo experience help CREATE the calm I feel now and the potential I feel now. I made it through the wilderness. And if I choose to be with someone again – it will be unlike anything that came before.
I honestly believe that if I had not been emotionally raked across coals with that one? I wouldn’t be who I am now – in regards to matters of the heart.
And I’d been searching for the meaning of this brief intense passionate once in a lifetime THING for almost a full year. Grateful to have found it. The meaning.
We walk through the Eight House and we come to the Ninth and we make meaning there – of what we do in the dark.
It happens. It happens more and more due to the internet and internet dating. This is what the Saturn Neptune square is for – REALITY. Take that illusion and smash it against the rocks.
The June Special is winding down! Ask me for details. Ongoing: Teaching and Reading Bundles, the Chat Room has room, the Tarot and Astro Weekly Subscriptions and…
Think of the North Node as something you do – activity, action. Thoughts too. Mindset. Perspective. But very much this question: what can I do to bring my natal North Node to me?
Don’t wait for life to give you the opportunity or the challenge. Start where you are.
My South Node is in Virgo and I have a lot of other Virgo in my chart. I feel uncomfortable with time off, uncomfortable with breaks, with escapism. I never take drugs. I’m not even a drinker. I quit smoking. But astrology tells me I have to stop working all the time. I have to breathe. I have to create room, make space, embody Neptune. I have to do nothing. Regenerate.
One way I am beginning to do this is by listening to spiritual radio stations. It’s that simple sometimes. I had a hard week and then started the blood portion of my moon cycle and must rest so I took yesterday and today off and right now I’m listening to… well… it’s “out there.” WAY out there. I may be an astrologer and tarot reader for a living BUT Virgo South node is practical (which slides easily into pessimism). I have lists though. I know exactly what I’ll be up to when I go back to work tomorrow.
Hmm North Node in Pisces: making an effort to drift and meditate but without letting these practices turn into depression. It’s a slippery slope for me.
And then I stop myself. Really? Might a depression that arises when I STOP all work-like activity have some value? Could that be why us South Node in Virgo humans prefer to keep busy? Some truth to that.
Making things even more interesting then is the fact that us North Node in Pisces people will be having a reverse Nodal Return! The North Node by transit is in Virgo now thus even more us Pisces North Node folk must plan our escape. Make it a routine. Prioritize it. Realize that we won’t miss anything by stopping.
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I started thinking about my North Node today because I realize to get anything done with maximum peace and true efficiency (efficiency: a Virgo South Node word) I need to go there, go Pisces or, at least, not go Virgo. Not a new thought but on my mind.
With my Virgo Moon Pluto, Vesta, Ascendent, and South Node, it’s pretty clear where I err despite the value and sweet plum-like love that I have for my Moon Pluto conjunction.
But really it’s the North Node that is the sweet plum, sought after fruit of our betterment. “Where you will make steady increments,” my teacher used to say.
How do you get there?
And do you stay there?
What do you do, what have you ever done, to live the way of your North Node? Do share in the comments!
I will share my strategies in future blog posts…
News and commercials:
I am doing 1:1 teaching again after a hiatus and focus on groups/classes.
$340 gets you 6 hours of time with me – learning Tarot or a Tarot/Astrology combination.
Skype or Phone.
Example, I am working with a gal tomorrow who wasn’t able to take my most recent Tarot class and I let her know that this was available! Over the weeks, we’ll be talking about the numbers, the elements, layouts, intuition, and more.
I’ve also started my January special EARLY. I am planning on moving late winter, early spring and thus this is my own personal fundraiser. All hour long readings are $65.
Because I hate the square. Because I hate the Jupiter Pluto square (in a natal chart) thus the trine fascinates. How can these two work together and not ruin your character?
Okay I’m going to generalize now.
NOT everyone with Jupiter Pluto square is an asshole but I have seen this aspect cut corners. Or present an ethical problem. A moral problem. Think about it. Pluto is power mad and gleeful Jupiter expands what it touches. Pluto is not moral. Pluto doesn’t care. Pluto is magic and sex and death and is concerned with your personal growth so to speak but not necessarily your well being (or theirs) and certainly not DOING THE RIGHT THING.
Jupiter in Virgo wants to do the right thing real bad and does the right thing most of the time. I think with the trine even more so. Think about it. Think about all the WORK (Virgo/Capricorn) you can get done under this trine! How much easier it will be for you! And then think about the square. Imagine the square. That you want to do the right thing, you try to do the right thing but PLUTO. But Pluto. Pluto says: I want THIS. Pluto is dark desire. I wonder how many politicians have Jupiter square Pluto.
I see the square and I think: someone’s gonna try to get away with something. And I see the trine and I think: they have mastered their urge for power. Using for power for GOOD. There is no moral question here with next week’s trine. Virgo and Capricorn fit. But, again, imagine if this were Virgo (the do-gooder) and Sagittarius (the promise of the future)… nothing may get done. Or everything gets half done. Or not at all.
Do you have this aspect in your chart?
PS This aspect is exact October 11th. 13 degrees Virgo/Capricorn
One way to find out the level of your own self-respect is to check out the condition of your VENUS. What kind of stress is she under in your natal chart? Is she too hard on herself and tends to feel guilty? Do you blame yourself for all the relationship woes? Could be a Saturn problem. Saturn likes to hit you with a stick Does she forget her worth? Could be Neptune! Neptune gets confused. Neptune can also be involved in self-blame. You tend to disappear before your own eyes. Jupiter could bring an inflation of value but I think most of us could use a bit more of this. Squares and Quincunxes in particular show inner tension, uncertainty. You don’t trust yourself. Venus Uranus is going to make you run or feel restless and thus you will often fall for runners so THEY leave instead of you. So many ways to talk about Venus but I want to get back to my Sermon
If you find yourself in a hamster wheel relationship, having the same fights over and over again, having the same THOUGHTS over and over again (you aren’t even WITH your love but are obsessing), I want you to focus on these three things:
-stopping. If it’s an interaction, you must stop the interaction. Example: never bring up THAT topic again which gets you nowhere every single time. Instead, back away. Stop sending emails into the void. Shore up your boundaries and stop opening up the wound. Different story if they bring it up and actually have an action plan. My advice for you though — O Obsessed One — is to practice stopping. And I am talking about self control and mindful awareness. Stop yourself before you start that fight again, before you push to a painful point. Sometimes in my own relationships there would be topics that I would beat to death. Why? Because those topics would NEVER get solved. And I am INCAPABLE of pretending that everything is fine when it’s not. But eventually I learn to back away. Distance is helpful in this case. Whether you live with the person or not, create mental and physical SPACE around you. For your own sanity. You may say: but MoonPluto is this possible?? Yes it is. Takes a little time, patience, and discipline. You can do it.
-no begging. Why don’t you love meeeeeeee?? Why don’t you want meeeeeee??Trust me, if you are at the point where you have to ask the person these questions then you don’t even want to know the answers. You’ve hit a wall. Okay, my three points here definitely connect but I wanted to list them separately. If you start to witness yourself begging, you have to stop. A self-respecting woman or man doesn’t beg. Doesn’t go chasing after others who don’t want you. “But baby WHY don’t you do such and such for me? Why aren’t you acting in such and such a way for me?” Bottom line: they aren’t. They aren’t acting the way you want. And maybe you are TOTALLY right and they are fucking up OR fucked up. Or perhaps it’s simple incompatibility. Or ridiculous expectations. Begging gets you nowhere and it decreases your self-respect. Stop chasing people who do NOT want to be with you. How do you know if someone wants to be with you? They give you clear undiluted ACTION. Words are frosting but it’s action we want to see. Consistent action that takes into account… YOU.
I dated a guy once with zero sex drive for me (or in general — who knows…). He kept swearing he was attracted to me!! But there was always an excuse for his lack of sexual expression or initiation. I had hurt his feelings and this decreased his desire. Or I was too angry. And YEAH I was angry. Because I got involved with someone (fell in love/emotionally attached) who had no dick for me! And oh boy I had passion for him. I used to initiate all the time. He RARELY initiated. And sometimes he would even refuse me. Or just not notice me as a sexual being. And we would FIGHT about this. It was maddening! There I was, in a close relationship with someone, fighting for them to show sexual desire for me. You can see how messed up this is. And messed up it can make you, even after you piece back together your sexual self-esteem. Advice: Find people who actually WANT what you want. And don’t take their rejection of you personally. Eventually, I got wise and backed away — but after a lot of pain and confusion. I kept TRYING. Sometimes we have to stop trying. Or try differently. Or just fucking walk away.
-self respect. You have to have self-respect. And if you have no clue what this is… well, use your feelings as your guide. I know you can feel that dip, when you dip below what feels right for you. But sometimes you just keep going, diving into the wreck (to quote Adrienne Rich). Yeah, think of self-respect as a feeling. I trust that you can tell when you are violating your own code. It will show up in your body.
Also please think about your Venus. What aspects do you have and to what planets and what themes arise? Do you go PLUTO? Does love become about who has the most control or power? My readers know I have Venus in the 12th House and one of my life’s goals is to… well it’s not even always about boundaries. I think I DO know how to say NO. And to fight for my boundary. But another insidious Venus problem can be CONFUSION i.e. what actually happened, what actually IS happening… Not trusting your own reality.
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Theory: because they are afraid to feel, they may feel threatened by me. (And/or attracted.) They confuse emotion with weakness. And this happens on an unconscious level thus they may seek to provoke emotions (or enjoy it YUM when forbidden or intense emotions arise), stoke the coals, each according to the emotion they are most afraid to feel.
* What happened: I cried in his office. He kept talking. Eventually handed me a blue tissue.
So I had all these revelations and my energy came back. I understood. I didn’t need to go digging around.
** Advice: if you notice this is happening in ANY of your relationships: you have to stand back and observe. Yourself. Observe them. PATIENCE. And seriously you need a meditation practice. It will slow you down. Patience. Meditation. Observation. Basically you have to close the circuit and STOP DOING THE FEELING FOR EVERYONE.
You must also lower your anxiety overall. Again, a daily meditation practice of grounding and observing will help you more than anything. Get to know your own mind. Shielding. Self-protection. Whatever you want to call it.
** More theory: how is it that emotions are power? Not in terms of physical strength although it sometimes FEELS that way.
You awaken in them something very old. From infancy. Or older. Helplessness. Mother who doesn’t show up. Your tears trigger in them something they cannot touch. Your fears trigger in them something they cannot touch. Your rage reminds them of their father’s rage. Your passion reminds them of the dreams they gave up. THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE YOU. But what they don’t understand is how amazing it is.
Emotions are powerful because feeling feelings is STILL taboo. Name it. I FEEL WEAK. I FEEL STUPID. I HATE MYSELF. I FEEL RAGE. I FEEL POWER. I FEEL LOVE. I FEEL HORNY. I FEEL PASSION. I HATE MY MOTHER. I LOVE MY MOTHER. I HATE MY LOVER. I LOVE MY LOVER. I HATE EVERYBODY. I LOVE EVERYBODY. Extremes. I feel okay. I feel not bad. Eh. Everything’s fine. It’s cool. A good day. Not bad. All is well. I feel hopeful. I feel afraid. All is well. Shame. Guilt. Pleasure. Suicidal. Terrified. Hungry. Starving. Empty. Alive. Dead. Okay.
So today’s appointment was truly a gift of healing after all.
He stole it from you, she said. Fucking thief!
And I began to think: how did this power him? How did this incident power him.
I’m a sensitive triple Cancer with a passionate Moon Pluto conjunction.
He’s a funny man, larger-than-life Sagittarius. Go big or go home, right? He calls St Patrick’s Day “amateur hour.” He has more euphemisms for farts than… I do.
His Sagittarius Sun is inconjunct his Cancer Moon and Ascendent — and the interesting part (to me) isn’t just my Cancer stellium conjunct his Moon/Ascendent but the fact that… his relationship with me repeats what he already experiences every day, that Sagittarius Cancer inconjunct. The aspect of adjustment. The aspect of WTF IS THIS. The Foreigner.
In the 12th House class, a gal was asking about her Venus North Node inconjunct which made me compare it to an opposition (in her case) HOWEVER the opposition, like the Temperance card, requires that we balance, that we mix. We create something new from the two sides.
An inconjunct though does not require such blending. In fact, it RESISTS such blending. We cannot, we do not, we must not– in order to be whole — lose any part of either planet in this aspect. My teacher used to say: these people cannot even see each other across a crowded room (like the opposition). They just don’t fit.
And yet we marry the “don’t fit.” At least in my case.
What are your experiences of this aspect?
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My gut reaction is: no, you can’t. But actually I’m not so sure. It just takes longer. More trial and error.
Many of us, especially those with earth-heavy charts, don’t know anything until we experience it. I’m pretty sure that’s what Miss X (name changed to protect the innocent) was saying as well. She knows what she does NOT want… once she has it.
Miss X has a packed 7th House. Cancer. Prominent, angular Venus. So she CAN draw in. She has a big extended family and plenty of friends so she’s not hurting for social interaction and opportunity to do a fair amount (if not more) of Cancerian nurturing and Virgo Mooning.
But as I wrote yesterday, she is having a Jupiter transit to her 7th House. THE OPPORTUNITY IS HERE, NOW. Jupiter goes direct on Thursday. (Jupiter = original ruler of Pisces and thus also associated with the 12th House. I have a point to make here. Read on. But first one more digression.)
This reminds me of my sister. I am always telling her where the opportunity is and she’s always saying WHERE? WHERE? as one more sails by. Perfection is not the same as opportunity. Miss X has a Virgo Moon. The guidance can only point you in the right direction, or TRY to. The guidance can’t make you open your eyes and hear the Divine, the still small voice.
Miss X has her North Node in the 12th House. Hard to get to. No wonder she can’t hear it. There’s a little nightlight over there and not much more.
This Venus is conjunct her descendent. This Venus is conjunct Mercury and Saturn. Also square Pluto. And inconjunct Neptune. Aha! Dare she dream? Neptune in the 12th House. Dreams died young. She learned NOT TO.
I don’t consider this a bad Venus at all. I do consider this a Venus who can get what she wants (which is what Venus is supposed to do!). Is it too easy? Did Miss X become bored? Only because she wasn’t chasing her dream. The dream she cannot access. Because of natal Neptune in the 12th House.
This is a 7th House problem compound by a Neptune problem. See, she COULD get it, if only she knew what it was. SHE MUST STOP OUTSOURCING HER NEPTUNE. No wonder she can’t feel/find Neptune. It’s locked up in there! Tracy Marks says we project our 12th House, similar to what we do with the 7th. Will the real Miss X please stand up? Who is she really, outside of other people? Does she exist then? Of course she does. But the chart makes it difficult!! The 12th House is who we are when we are alone. Alone-alone.
So I wouldn’t feed this Venus or starve this Venus per se — I would this Venus on a journey. Jupiter transit remember! Take this Venus Mercury Saturn conjunction to the 12th House for an extended stay but also let Neptune out of there. Open the window. EXPLORE (another Jupiter keyword). Let Neptune out (get to know your dreams and fantasies which you lost, which had to be hidden so long ago).
And really they amount to the same thing — it’s just two approaches here to try. Going in or going out.
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I want to go as deep as I possibly can with people. As I look over charts and comments in the 12th House class, I tell them:
I have Venus in the 12th House. I’m here to serve you. It feels good. Service feels good. Use me. Ask me questions. That’s why we are here. I can’t bear living on the SURFACE OF LIFE.
The 12th House: what we deny. What we repress. Those energies. If you have Venus in the 12th, you are withholding. No matter the aspects to it. You are withholding some piece of your love. You can’t seem to get it out. Can’t help it. It’s automatic.
And you know what? Maybe… just maybe… this is not a problem.
Helping people moves the energy. Helping just enough. Helping so that you make a difference but not so much that you… become workaholic and ignore everything else in your life. Right?
What are you denying? What’s in your 12th House? Venus? Enjoyment? Sun? Ego? Do you feel you need to deny who you are? That if you don’t keep denying it… someone will get hurt?
What about Saturn here? Do you hide your sadness? Or Neptune. You feel you need to keep your dreams to yourself. You learned that you had to.
And you know what? YES I CAN connect this post to the current sky because we’re in Pisces Season and Pisces/Neptune is associated with the 12th. It’s time to talk about all this (once again).
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Fascinating conversation got started yesterday in one of the chat rooms–
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But about the fascinating conversation: two Cancers talking! One Cancer lady was asking me how I MANAGE IT i.e. manage my emotions — having Sun, Mercury, Mars in the sign and an intense Moon Pluto conjunction in Virgo. (Moon and Mercury in mutual reception.)
She also has a Cancer/Virgo combo and a job where she has to be normal every day. More than normal. Intense professional. Capricorn Rising!
See, for the last ten years or so, I’ve had jobs where I can cry if the mood strikes (Cancerian heaven!)
And you know what? I really hadn’t realized before the answer I gave her. I mean, her question prompted me to think about it once more.
She said: I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU EXPLODE. She felt that my chart could be a power keg (due to all the emotional intensity) BUT — I told her — I don’t have oppositions in my chart so I’m not lashing out here and there and certainly not on-line. I lash out on the INSIDE. I’ve got a lot of squares. And supportive sextiles too. AND, I added, if it happens anywhere, it will happen AT HOME (Moon = home. Pluto = tyranny). My conjunction is well-aspected though, all around my chart. Hurt my Cancerian tender feelings and yes I WILL GO PLUTO on you. But I have *to care* — I have to EXPECT MORE FROM YOU – to get *that* hurt.
AND THEN I HAD MY REVELATION as I continued to chat… that how I manage my storehouse of passion and intensity is HERE. In my work. Writing, blogging, working with clients, posting on Facebook, working with clients some more (exercising that psychic MoonPlutoness) sharing in the chat rooms. By sharing WHAT I HAVE. By sharing my RESOURCES, my passion, my intensity, my Virgoan sincerity. That’s how! And often in public (Cancer in the 11th House). Emphasis on SHARING. Energy exchange. So I need to get something back. I create a circuit and my clients and readers choose to keep the current fresh, moving, alive — WITH me. It’s a choice I make to put ME out there. And a choice they make to latch on.
What’s a Cancer — or other sensitive — supposed to do? What do YOU do?
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I’m not a doctor (or lawyer or government official). I’m a teacher. (I think COACH is the trendy word. Or has that been replaced already?) And oh man I never wanted to be a teacher, right Ma? Right!
Saturn in my natal 9th trine Moon and Pluto in my 1st. I wrestle with angels, dark ones, light ones, fighting fire with fire. And water And earth. And air It’s all ELEMENTAL.
I’m on a rampage these days. A rage. AND I SHOULD DEFINE MY TERMS. I’m not talking about raging against anyone or blaming anyone but this BLOOD (life) ENERGY in me. Lust for learning. Lust for life, for sharing, for writing.
See, I LIKE my feelings. I LIKE feeling.
We were talking about the Tarot card STRENGTH in the Moon Lodge (chat room B) and I shared one of my favorite interpretations: strength through rage. Self-esteem through rage. Righteous anger. COURAGE. In the words of Mary K. Greer: GUIDANCE FROM RAGE. (And I love the image of the woman and the lion – she has mastered her animal soul.)
By “rage” I don’t mean violence. And I don’t mean hurting anyone. It’s just MY word for… energy. Should I find a better word? Maybe But for the time being, RAMPAGE and RAGE suit me fine. It’s Aquarius Season. Shall I call it current? NO. NOT STRONG ENOUGH. It’s MESSIER than that. It’s LIVELIER than that.
THE SKY RIGHT NOW, THESE DAYS, IS AWESOME.
Jupiter in Cancer is opposing VENUS and PLUTO in Capricorn.
And Jupiter is trine Chiron. Venus and Pluto are sextile Chiron.
Can you see this in your head? Energy shooting up from the 4th House. Energy shooting down from the 10th! Angels going up the ladder, angels going down the ladder. And all are activating the “natural” 12th House!
ARIES AND LIBRA PEOPLE (at the mid degrees or so) TAKE NOTE. LISTEN UP. YOU ARE BEING TAUGHT A LESSON BY CANCER AND CAPRICORN and this is your FATE so listen up to the lesson.
Thing is: I can’t tell you specifically what it is. I don’t know YOUR chart or YOUR life. But I can tell you it’s major.
And the image that comes to mind for me is the 8 of Swords, that is YOU, that blindfolded figure, all tied up (Rider Waite version). They say she could set herself free (they love to say that!). That her imprisonment is self-imposed. That 8 of Swords figure is the Aries-Libra axis in your chart. The relationship obsessed people-pleasers and the self-obsessed lone wolves. And whatever HOUSES Aries/Libra represents for you.
(Hint: TIME TO STOP BEING and DOING either/or! You must do BOTH/AND!)
See, Cancer and Capricorn (heavenly mother, heavenly father, spiritual guidance) are circling you, circling the fire, you tied to the stake, the ropes, the beliefs, and Cancer and Capricorn are HERE TO TELL YOU, HERE TO SHOW YOU…
That is all.
** There are different ways to work with me. Please visit the new site MOONPLUTO.COM because there is more information there — about independent study (apprenticeship), Astro/Tarot specials, subscription, chat rooms, classes, and other stuff as it develops. 2014 I definitely want to begin my Creativity Workshops!
people with the Saturn Pluto square. And then I started to think about clients I’m talking to who are having the conjunction by transit. Saturn conjunct Pluto. Ugh. I remember when Saturn was in Libra. Damn that was hard for the Pluto in Libra people. Couldn’t hide behind nice ANYMORE. Life was not nice and not going to get any nicer until they Saturned up.
I wrote this in the room:
“… like people having Saturn on their Pluto now. They know something is STINKING. But they don’t know: is it THEM? Is it me? Something is stinking: what is it? Where is it?”
I often talk about the days of Saturn in Virgo, conjunct my Moon and Pluto (with transiting Uranus opposing) because it was such a devastating time for me and on Facebook yesterday, after a particularly potent revelation about FEAR, I posted that nothing, *almost* nothing could scare me except a repeat of Saturn in Virgo. Devastation, desolation. How did I survive? With more than a little help from friends.
In either case, if you are under the Saturn Pluto gun, by transit or in your natal, you have to master (ha) two energies. The surrender of Pluto and the stop and start of Saturn. This morning I’m heading back into the Jupiter Saturn classroom to talk about Saturn and the very first thing I’m going to do is talk about the mountain goat image. I’ve been rereading brilliant Howard Sasportas again. We can’t rush change. We can’t rush consciousness. The mountain goal (he says) doesn’t move forward until stability is found. Got it? The goat stops. Takes a break. Makes sure the foundation is solid AND THEN, only then, climbs higher. That is Saturn. That is Capricorn. That is NATURE fairly often. Slow.
And Pluto is the ugly seemingly psychologically dangerous underbelly you would prefer to LEAP (Jupiter) out of. The stuff you fear that….if you integrated into yourself, that you would die. You won’t die. What you do is become whole. But those with the natal aspect are constantly in the process. I don’t blame them for ducking or leaping. The truth will set you free though, no matter how painful. That’s what I believe anyway…
Are you transiting?
Wanna get your learn on? Ongoing: there is a new astro chat room you can join as well as WEEK TWO of the Jupiter Saturn course.
There’s not a whole lot of flash and trash to my personality. Not a lot of surfacey baubles and jokes. I’m a quiet, serious reflective person, introspective. Always have been, yes since Day One. And I like myself just fine. I have a 1st House Pluto. Depth.
Also since Day One, people have found fault with my basic nature — too sensitive, too serious. “You need to be this, you need to be that.” Be light, be happy, be cheerful. But people are stupid they expect MY happiness to look like theirs. They can’t fathom that the way I am is not a source of concern for me (like it is for them).
I don’t try to do or be anything. I just am. Not looking to please anyone. Empty 7th House. How you feel about this blog post doesn’t interest me thaaaaat much. If you like it, I’m thrilled. If not, eh. Whatever. I’m not an entertainer. I’m going to share my stuff and, again, if you like it? Great. Then we can talk. And I welcome you in. You get the best of me.
In the Venus and Mars class, the first week, I’ve been in charge of Venus and one thing we talk about when we talk about Venus is about VALUES. Our Venus sign and house has to do with what we value, what we consider worthwhile. And then the aspects can show how easy it can be to manifest… a beautiful life.
Well, guess what? My Venus in the 12th values meditation, solitude, reflection, the mystical.
There’s more to it than that but the point of this blog post is another Venus value. Venus, generally speaking, values love. And if you don’t love yourself and KNOW what you love, and respect it… you’ll be that low side of Venus that we talk about, the self-less one. Not self-less in terms of doing for others but self-less in terms of NOT HAVING A SELF because you are so busy shape shifting and pleasing others that you forgot to become YOU.
But here’s another complication: what if pleasing others IS what you deem important most of all? Then you’re always dependent on others. You’re a mirror.
Sometimes I get snarky comments on my blog. Why do people think I will publish them? This is my space and I value it. I’m not going to throw doody on it LOL.
Anyway, my friends, do you know what you value? And do you let yourself be who you truly are no matter who (friend, lover, family) stands in your way? Argh my Venus sounds Marsy doesn’t she?
Venus is sextile Jupiter today. YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU WANT. If only you knew what it was! Want an easy going day? BE easy going. Want a painful struggly day? Then be that. You choose!
The Venus & Mars class starts today (the one I’m doing with Matthew Currie – and YES you can still join the class, email me for details) and I’m giving myself a fun refresher (perusing my books!) and getting inspired and looking for themes and the more I read about Venus, the less Venusian I feel and feel I am.
Which is one of the REASONS for the course. To bring this stuff to consciousness. To help people with “Venus problems.”
For example — lets say you want a relationship and it always eludes you. Or you really want one and have convinced yourself that you don’t. Or maybe others feel like you should have one and…
First thing I’d do most likely is look at your Venus and your 7th House (associated with Libra).
And I was thumbing through this one book that I never look at much and came across this phrase “the arts of seduction” and thinking to myself about my own Venus and my own Venus t-square and my own lack (Saturn keyword!) of the arts of seduction and how this mainstream Venus is an image that I’d like to shoot down. Or maybe that’s my Mars talking. Or my Venus square Saturn.
Venus square Saturn feels inadequate and unworthy of even putting on a show. I’m too real for all that, is what she thinks. She rejects (Saturn) allure (Venus). Venus square Saturn is not the Grand Illusion (of Venus) but the No Illusion (of Saturn). Cold hard reality THIS IS HOW IT IS. PEOPLE GET OLD. I’M NOT PRETTY. STOP FANTASIZING. Venus square Saturn is a deadly aspect i.e. Saturn can restrict (kill) the love impulse coming from others. And yet if you have this aspect in your birth chart YOU ARE NOT DOOMED but you must be aware of how you push people away in any number of ways.
I want to post something here that I posted in the class today. I will not make a habit of posting our private stuff, but just wanted to give you a taste…
“Venus is the outside. The surface. Like your nose is part of your surface. Surface as opposed to depth, like your emotions. I’m not saying Venus isn’t a deep topic. But… here’s an example.
You (anyone) may be stirred by an object of beauty but you are the human who is feeling stirred. You are the flesh and blood reacting. That is the deep part. Example: Libra is NOT Scorpio. Libra is nice and polite (ideally). Libra values peace, “peace at any price.” (Speaking in generalities here, I know).
Libra (talking about the ideal energy of Libra) doesn’t always lie but it certainly hides the flaws (i.e. make up) whereas Scorpio gives the truth, the guts, the stuff we prefer to hide, the taboo. I have a 1st House Pluto so although I am not a Scorpio, I get gross and I bring up ugly things whereas someone with “more” Venus in their chart or Venus in their 1st House would shy away from that. I rather see someone’s ugly flaws and depth than hide in their costume.
Using this contrast because I think it will help explain what I mean. THUS when we see VENUS IN SCORPIO this Venus is concerned with far more than smelling nice. NOW, there is nothing wrong with smelling nice (it has its purpose as well, like everything under the skies) BUT my point is we all have different VALUES which is often determined by OUR VENUS PLACEMENT and its aspects.
Matthew has Venus in his 7th House so it has more than a touch of Libra to it.
My Venus is in the 12th House. I value the meditation hall far more than saying good morning (being polite). I value silence. See what I’m trying to build. I’m not saying Venus is bad. I’m not saying surface is bad. But I want to go deeper still into what it all means. And for many of us… Venus is not our strongest influence at all but… it matters.
And I know my bias. I know I am not a typical or mainstream Venus. “Typical” being hard to define.
THAT is what I mean by going deep. But yes I admit it to anyone anytime that beauty is “necessary” for female in this culture for sure but is at the bottom of my list of values.”
Today’s Sky! Venus is now in Virgo and Virgo in general wants ORDER. It makes sense for us to bring this order to our beauty and our social lives! Get your hair done. Check your eyebrows. Health stuff too. AND money. Have you sprung a leak? Where is it? Virgo NEEDS to fix it. Visit friends. Are you lonely? CALCULATE your desire says Venus in Virgo.
I am a jealous woman but I have known others far more jealous than me, men and women.
How do I know this? They have told me, provided examples.
Their jealousy makes ME, mine, seem like a firefly rather than a strike of lightening or a house on fire.
Thinking of one friend: Scorpio on her descendent and she has avoided relationships for YEARS partly because her jealousy is so intense (but not pathological she says) — it causes her pain. Better to avoid the whole thing than run the risk of killing someone, so to speak.
And then there are those who DO kill. Crimes of passion (a term I hate but bear with me).
Am I in their league? No. Not going to do kill. But I have my um moments. My 1st House Moon Pluto conjunction (despite being very well aspected) is a marker for emotionally intensity and has the potential to disrupt (or even destroy) what is precious. Ugh.
Also, speaking personally and maybe you can relate: the more I fear that I have something to lose, the more vulnerable I feel, at risk, the louder my jealousy sings. Cue slamming door. Prideful bellowing Venus in Leo doesn’t help matters either.
What are your experiences? What does your chart say?
Tonight my boyfriend asked me what would make me happy and I always have trouble with this question. Let him be the happy one. Let me stick my hands in some other body.
Having him here has changed my life and makes me happy but when he asked me that question I needed time. I eventually came up with two things over dinner at IHOP.
Both items were Virgo Moon related he noted. Both 6th House I noted. Both micro not big picture but necessary picture.
The first: a health condition I want to solve by natural means and physical therapy and 2. I want to do REAL pushups. I do “girl” push ups just fine (even speed push ups) but I want to graduate to military style, full body.