Pluto rules death and rebirth.
Pluto went retrograde on my 5th House cusp, the House of Love.
I am trying to get a sense of the big picture of my life and right now I cannot, and yesterday on the subway I started thinking about my Pluto square Pluto transit from some years ago and the main thing I remember about that time is that I hated my life.
It was also when I started studying astrology.
I had stopped being religious and I was searching for someone to tell me what to do, to replace the laws and rules I’d longed to adhere to. Always a spiritual person, I thought I’d find my role in that regimented world, not unlike my very early childhood, when we kept the Sabbath holy. Nope.
My Pluto square Pluto was accompanied by Saturn’s transit through Leo, in my 12th House. I was lost.
On the train I was reading a chapter from a book about Pluto, trying to match up the writer’s words with my experience. This writer had wonderful metaphors but did I relate? Sometimes metaphors are not enough.
My teacher would say to us: will you go kicking and screaming, or will you…
The best healers, the best readers are shamans — they go fully into their transits, bringing back shells, jewels, sunlight, fragments of glass, coins, magic, answers — as though they choose their transits by soul contract and come back to teach us all.
That they feel (or take) our pain so we don’t have to.
And yet we have to.
How To Survive A Pluto Transit:
Your life is breaking down. Your life is breaking open. Don’t try to hold on to the Old Way. It won’t work and will only make it worse. You will fail at being the Old You.
Woman and girl are sitting next to me on the train and woman is telling girl about “specialists.” That if you break a bone, you will need to see Someone Special.
Think of Pluto that way — except that he does the breaking bad and the repair.
Back to where we started:
Pluto Retrograde says not yet. Pluto Retrograde says detour. Pluto Retrograde says back underground, underworld, into the woods, back back back.
But you were not mistaken.
Pluto’s transit to your chart is your fate. It is not a choice.
You can go kicking and screaming or you can… well?
What will you do?
Sending strength and love to those having difficult transits xo